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11-7-2009 - one of the bestest days ever...n 24 weeks preggers

My mood while writing this blog: super freakin happy

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well until recently i havent been 100% happy about being pregnant. i resented myself and felt like such a disapointment. i never planned on getting pregnant at 19, im still a baby and after being left to deal with this on my own i didnt know what i was going to do. im going to be a single mom. but now i think im ok with that. i have finally accepted that i would rather my ex (brady) be out of our lives than still be a little boy and be around for no reason at all. i just feel so stupid and used. like i never even meant anything. n i just cant wait to see my baby. i dont know what you are yet little bugger but i love you with all my heart and more. im due in two months and i wish it would come much sooner. i just want to hold my baby and see what it looks like...imma post a pic and yall tell me what you think of the babys daddy. i would feel all depressed if my baby isnt half as cute as my sisters. i know were different people but her babys are just absolutely gorgeous. i mean i will love my baby either way but its still depressing to think about. n to top it all off i have gotten hella hours in at work this week im so happy for that specially since not working for 6 weeks. n it was so hard to do that n than just go back, after my first day i was so exhausted that i slept for 7 hours woke up ate and went back to bed to start they day off at 5 in the morning again.....n today my bffl told me she is 4 months preggers with twins. its crazy so she said she is due on jan 1 but that could obviously change since she is caring twins...n they'll be identical. its crazy but im happy for her all the same. nnnnn now that i look back on my whole pregnancy, it was pretty damn good. nothin bad only one week of morning sickness and i have been feeling great ever since. the only off part was when i was rushed to the hospital at 19 weeks due to a tumor on my right ovary...such a scary moment, docs said i was lucky i came in, n that if i waited any longer that i would have died due to having it pop and getting an infection runnin all through my body. but were all good now. only got one hugely dark scar runnin up and down my belly but im tryna get that lookin good with some mama bee's belly rub. its starting to fade in some spots. but oh well im just happy that not only me but my baby as well is ok. i just wish the baby was here already.

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