16-2-2009 - Does anyone care??

My mood while writing this blog: sad, disappointed

So, I had my stork tea this sat, got some really nice stuff etc, was ok...

Let me start with the beginning...

My sister insisted that she wants to throw my storktea,

I didnt really want her to but gave her the benefit of the doubt..what was i thinkin?? I ended up paying for my own food and even made my own invites!!! (im an invitation maker) Then to top it off i get there and she is sitting on her fat arse doing nothing, its so hot and no one has drinks...i ask her if i can get something to drink she says help yourself...This is coming from the woman who i helped when she fell pregnant off a one night stand, who's bills i paid cos she was in debt, for whom i did food shopping every week!! The one whose baby daddy i found in mexico after a long search...she didnt want to find him, the baby was 9months old and he still did not know he was a father...a story for another day.

Anyways, this woman who lives now with my parents...leeetching off them i might add, who doesnt have money to throw a party wants to throw me party...thus the reason i paid for everything. You would think that she would make a little bit of an effort but instead she invited her friends and were having fat chats not at all interested in what i was doing(opening pressies) totally secluded from everyone making a noise...am i totally stupid for being so disappointed and sad about everything?

My mom and i had to sort out the food an even made some the friday, my sister didnt want to help cos its too hot and too much effort! Then as if this didnt already piss he crap out of me, a woman tells me how huge and fat i have become and she doesnt have to worry about the 6kg's (13pounds) that she picked up cos im so fat...she's like 58?? not pregnant...

I ended up crying the whole of the sat eve and the whole of the sunday cos i just feel like this i my first baby and it was suppose to be a special day..i will always have that at the back of my mind!

I just felt so alone and dont even want to mention stork party cos i start crying all over again:(

Im just so disappointed and then all the other things creep up like how my mom in law said she wasnt ready to be a grandma when we told her i was pregnant etc etc...you know when you in that state you dont see light only darkness...

Anyways i feel better today, its my moms bday, dont really want to see my sister, hopefully she will be working tonight...

Sorry for bitching