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27-8-2008 - just venting

My mood while writing this blog: annoyed

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Sooooo the original plan was that my mother and my mother-in-law were going to plan my baby shower together. Everyone was happy with that and so was I. As time progressed and I talked to my mom she was telling me that she had discussed dates with my MIL and was waiting to hear back. Then my mom informs me that my MIL went and planned several other aspects of my baby shower with out consulting with my mom. My mom was calling me upset about the shower telling me that she was making suggestions and that my MIL would tell her "no thank you" or "that has already been taken care of" or that my MIL had to make sure it was "ok" with my husbands sister before anything was finalized. My mom thought she was going to be a big part of the planning and since I am her only daughter and this is her 1st grand baby she has become VERY frustrated with the issue. My mom is not a complainer and my MIL usually does very good things for my husband and I (though at times like this I understand it does come at a cost) so to keep peace my mother says nothing. I tried talking to my husband about it and he gets mad and says he is upset at my mom for talking about his mother when she is just trying to see that we have a nice shower and blah blah blah. Well...my thoughtful MIL calls me the other night crying (drunk) to tell me that the venue she and my sister in law chose for my shower only fits 30 people and after she has invited all my husbands family ect there is room enough for me to add 5 of my family friends coworkers ect...FIVE!!! I have a list of 35 of my own people I wanted to include in my baby shower how can she expect me to limit the list to my 5 favorites?? I can't do it. THEN she has the nerve to tell me that its because she has had no help planning and its all she could afford. I was floored, especially after all that my mother has been telling me. So, I told my MIL to plan the "Boyd family" shower for her people and I would plan a 2nd shower for mine. I have enlisted the help of my best friend and my mother and we have the plans underway but I am just so angry at my MIL now for not only excluding my mom in the plans but eventually excluding MY WHOLE FAMILY and ALL MY FRIENDS... Who does that sort of thing?? And the best part is my husband's reaction..."its not like your family or friends will be the ones to buy our big gifts anyway"...

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4 Comments on just venting


mommaseverin - Friday, 19 Sep
I am not quite sure how to comment on a blog yet, haven't found the button- hope this works. about your "venting" blog. I have had the exact same thing happen. After everything was set to be at my mom's, my MIL changed the shower date and had my coworker host the shower. so now I have 2 when it was planned not to seperate. I think its a competition thing. I am fed up with it!

baby-momma09 - Wednesday, 10 Sep
I DEF. WOULD NOT STAND FOR THIS. AND YOU HUBBY SHOULD BE A LIL MORE SUPPORTIVE. THAT WAS A RUDE/HURTFUL COMMENT. BY SEPERATING THEM IS THE BEST THING TO DO. THATS WHY IM HAVING 3. FRIENDS/MOM/STEPMOM. THAT WAY EVERYONE IS SEPERATED AND HOPEFULLY DRAMA FREE. I LOVE PARTY PLANNING SO I'LL DEF. BE A BIG PART IN ALL 3 SHOWERS.

Debra - Wednesday, 27 Aug
oi! well... my mil was weird about the whole thing and didn't want to come to the party my mom and sister threw for us. I thought that was strange. Parents are just weird in general and our kids will prob think the same thing about us. I think its good that your mom is just going to plan a party for their side. Go to both and just smile. Something about babies and weddings that seems to make parents go all weird on us. As for hubby, i suggest buying him the book by Jenny McCarthy called "belly laughs" There are some good tips in there for hubbies on dealing with hormonal wives. It will take him all of 3 hours to read as well. It made me laugh so hard I had to pee! Anyways.... my husband just got smarter towards the end, especially after reading that book and just said, 'yes dear' which is EXACTLY what you need to hear in this stage of the game.

jo,jo - Wednesday, 27 Aug
...I have the same worries about my MIL... my Mum lives in Italy and so she feels a bit cut out as it is, and my MIL seems to have completely forgotten that I have my own Mum and has taken on absolutely everything, even that she is going to take time off work when the baby is born to help me when I was planning on inviting my mum over to stay...arghhh so ANNOYING!
I think you have done the right thing arranging a separate shower wich you can do your way with the help of your mum!