09-1-2012 - POAS HUMOR

My mood while writing this blog: FUNNY

How to Pee on a Stick (POAS)

Step 1...Pee on the stick. (must be sure to hold it under urine stream for a heartbeat longer than recommended just to be sure).

Step 2...Stare at stick while you continue peeing. Feel heart jump when urine passes over the spot where the line would be and it hitches for a second, then gets a dark line...then keeps going, taking your dark line with it to the test window.

Step 3...Place on bathroom counter. Pretend not to stare at it. Let's try to give yourself busy work to keep from looking at it. In fact, your toilet now gets cleaned once per day.

Step 4...Tell yourself you are expecting a BFN. Then start to mist up when you see that it is, in fact, a BFN. Stare at the blank spot for a full minute before picking it up.

Step 5...First, go to window and check it under day light.

Step 6...Now, stand on toilet to be closer to light in ceiling. Check strip.

Step 7...Close one eye. Squint other eye.

Step 8...Turn on several lamps around house. Hold strip under lamp. Check strip.

Step 9...Hold strip OVER lamp. Check strip.

Step 10...Hold strip in front of lamp so light shines THROUGH strip, just in case.

Step 11...Pull stick apart. Hesitate for a heartbeat when you realize you are holding the still wet "wick" in one hand, then continue the destruction.

Step 12...Repeat Steps 5-9.

Step 13...Throw stick away.

Step 14...Pick stick back up out of trash.

Step 15...Repeat Steps 13 and 14 the rest of the day!