11-9-2009 - You're going the wrong way!!!

My mood while writing this blog: despondant

Sometimes, on these types of forums, people say things like "What song best describes your life/how you feel right now? etc"

Well, right now that song would be Travis - "Why does it always rain on me?"

After a day of sheer agony on Wednesday with all of this on-going stuff, and Zach looking like he was going to leap out of my tummy at any moment "Alien-style", I had a surprisingly good night going into Thursday morning. I got up at 3am for my first breakfast of the day as I was starving, and was pleased that I could go back to bed relatively quickly cos Zach didn't pummel my stomach to within an inch of its life. "Maybe, just maybe he is asleep and the food has sneaked under his raider" I half thought, half prayed.

Managed to get some sleep and DH took the girls off to school, I swivelled out of bed at about 9.30 for my second breakfast, starving but no heartburn. As I waddled downstairs, DH commented how much more quickly I had come down. He was right! Nowhere near normal, but a lot quicker than I had been.

"So far, so good." I felt quite pleased with myself. I had a phone call from some friends who I havent seen in ages to ask if I was up to having visitors. Any other day, I would have shuddered at the thought of having people over, but yesterday I felt that I could probably manage polite conversation for an hour or two without needing to go and have a lie down. Downstairs was tidy-ish, DD1,2 and 3 hadn't unloaded the dishwasher and the breakfast stuff was still out, but I thought I could manage it. So my visitors planned to come at about 1.30pm.

It did take a considerable amount of time unloading the dishwasher by sitting on a dining chair, but I had more movement than I expected. Started to re-load the dishwasher but not enough stuff to set it off, so I thought about what the family could have for dinner.

The girls had been bugging me for home made curry for days, since we went shopping and had all the basics in the cupboard. I had kept saying no as I wasnt feeling up to it cos making restaurant quality curry at home is time consuming and labour intensive and curry out of a tin never tastes as good. But I thought that I could just about manage it. I got DH to drag the potato sack into the living room, so I could peel potatoes in front of the TV (I highly recommend this method) and then when ready he covered them with water and put them on the stove for me. Fortunately for me, DD2 had put all my food processor parts in a higher drawer in my cupboard by mistake, so I was able to lift it piece by piece myself, and whizz up all the onions and garlic I needed in one go. As DD2 has recently gone vegetarian I hastily realised I would need to give her own portions of "saucy" curry, and DD3 is copying her. Back to the settee with my peeler with a carrot, a parnsip, a large sweet potato and half a butternut squash to watch a bit of daytime TV.

I had still had a bit of time before my visitors were due to arrive, so I mixed up all my spices and started cooking the sauce mixtures. This was the horrible bit that needed lots of standing and stirring. Even with my trusty chair and getting up every few minutes to stir, this was when I realised I had bitten off more than I could chew.

I was so pleased when the doorbell rang, I just turned it all off and retreated to the settee. I could see that I wasnt as spritely I was early in the morning, and felt a bit cheated that I was returning back to moving at a snails pace. When DH went off to get the girls and my visitors decided to make a move, so gingerly I made my way back out to the kitchen. I really wanted to get everything cooking before the girls came in so I didnt have to ask them to help with anything.

Then I hit a big snag, normally I do 5 dishes on a 4 ringed stove moving things like rice on and off as I need to keep them warm. Being respectful of my daughter new found vegetarianism, the realisation hit me that I needed two extra pans and an extra ladle not to "contaminate" her "saucy" curries with chicken juice from our curries.....AARGH, why did I not think of this hours ago and give it up as a bad job!

As they trundled in, I got them to decant the rice, potatoes, and pea dishes into lidded casserole pots.

I then struggled to finish cooking off the FOUR pans of curry on the stove. I ALMOST put our chicken ladle in her vegetarian curry to stir it by mistake a couple of times. It was then that DH reminded me we had a parents evening to attend. "Thats it, I am cheating now...no home made naan breads." So DH sent DD2 up the local shop to get some.

By the time she got back DD1 & 3 had set the table, reheated the remaining bits as I was dividing up the four curries into separate bowls. I must admit I really enjoyed it although the shop naans were very tasteless, everybody appreciated it. DH commented it might not be such a good idea to go to parents evening smelling like an Indian restaurant so brought me down a change of clothes, bungled my crutches in the car and off we went!

Instead of having the parents evening in the main hall at the front, we had to make our way through a maze of corridors to the Science labs at the back of the college for the meeting. It seemed to take forever as I was getting slower with every step. After an hour or so of listening intently, I realised that Zach hadnt been jumping around like a maniac or kicking my curry around. I couldnt wait to get home!

After a little lay down on the settee when I got home, I felt Zach move. I was relieved, but also felt a little guilty that for the first time in months I had gone a couple of hours without thinking about him.

I dutifully had my evening snack even though I wasnt hungry, but I was quite pleased that I didnt have any real heartburn tonight. I put my splints on and turned for the night.

Today, I woke up for my first breakfast at 4.30 which is a bit later than usual, cos I normally busting for the loo and kicked to pieces by then. He was having a little fidget, so I knew he was ok, but it wasnt in the usual places. The kicks were lower down just above my belly button instead of by my ribs.

I got my fetal heart monitor out, went to the usual place to find the hard beat but couldnt find it. Conscious that I hadn't put new batteries in it since I bought it, I nicked the ones out of the TV remote. I then tested it on my own heart. "Yep, its working fine". I went a bit mad with the lubricant all over my tummy, started at the centre bottom and slowly zigzagged my way up my tummy. By the time I got to my belly button, I was getting concerned, all I could pick up 90 bpm which had to be my pulse, so I started from the bottom again and worked up. My bpm was rising by this point, still nothing. I put on more lubricant, but as I squirted it out, some of it landed on my sternum. I plonked the monitor on my sternum and then started zig-zagging going DOWN! Well, 3 inches above my belly button, there he was, happy as Larry 132 bpm. Just to be sure, I started again at the bottom, went up passed my belly button this time, sure enough 3 inches above it there it was 147bpm, and a little ripple just above my belly button on the left hand side. If he was asleep, he was soon awake, but I was just happy that he was alright.

Trouble was, my curiosity was aroused. Time to google. Last midwife visit Zach was head down which is a good sign. 75% of babies are head down at 28 weeks, great stuff. Heart-beat located above the belly button is classic indicator of breech position...ok...what else? Placenta in front and low lying placenta make it more difficult for baby to go head down....ok...starting to make sense now...Bingo, Symphysis Pubic Dysfunction makes it uncomfortable for baby's head in the pelvis with a high percentage of babies still breech at 37 weeks requiring ECV manipulation to encourage baby to turn. I found a picture of what doctors term a "Frank Breech" presentation at full term, poor little mite looks so squashed. But it did make sense as why the positions of the kicks have changed. On the flip side, the bottom doesnt press down on the bladder so much, and from the picture kicking the stuffing out of my stomach is gonna be a near on impossibility. I am starting to see an up-side to this!

With DD1 she was transverse (laying across) at 37 weeks, and I had ECV to get her to go head down. It was very uncomfortable rather than painful, it did help her turn head down and with gravity in effect she was born at 38 weeks at a very respectable 8lb 1/4 oz. So having an ECV in itself doesnt worry me, but how successful it will be with a proper breech is where my focus is now.

I know the SPD wont get better until some time after Zach is born, but I am hoping being breech wont make it worse in the meantime. Until my next midwife appointment in 3 weeks, I am gonna enjoy hobbling about on crutches a bit each day but without overdoing it, enjoy eating food without having it pummelled to bits, weeing less frequently and JUST MAYBE, sleeping through the night without having to have an early breakfast!

OK ZACH, YOU ARE GOING THE WRONG WAY!!! but please let me have a few weeks to enjoy this pregnancy before you decide follow the map and get your head in gear!

However, if you are gonna be stubborn and sit on your butt to the very end, I'll probably be seeing you in 10 weeks instead of 12. The thought of having a Caesarean AND coming home with the crutches for SPD fills me with dread.

Yep, Travis is right.

"Why does it always rain on me?
Even when the sun is shining
I cant avoid the lightning"

Hope your babies are all behaving and getting their heads down, if not don't worry, you have a fellow worrier to talk to baby dust to all!