16-10-2009 - Consultants visit today - and why my blood pressure is through the roof!

My mood while writing this blog: worn out and over tired

Well, I saw my lady consultant today, and I wasted no time in getting the big guns out for the questions no- one else was ready to answer for me last week.

Zach's large size head and abdomin are NOT a result of accumulating fluid inside him. The main culprit is likely to be Gestational Diabetes, as I had starved since 10pm last night ready for my first lot of blood at 9.30. Despite my reservations about how a baby's body can deviate by upto 7 weeks size from one body part to another she assures me its within normal range.

My wee sample was taken at 8am before I went to hospital so there was no question off it being thrown off by drinking the syrup. When they checked my wee it was ++++ for sugar and + for ketones, the official results are back on Tuesday, and I see my local midwife on Thursday with GP backup, so I will probably get sent to diabetic team for insulin, cos if I can't get my glucose level down by starving all night long then "managing by diet" is not gonna be an option.

Despite having really good blood pressure all pregnancy so far, even after last weeks bad news, this week it very elevated. I was told that bed rest means bed rest and relax, and its important not to get aggitated.

Talk of a C-section was limited today, but I was told a C section is very likely as I missed a vital piece of jargon on my growth scan notes from last week (which no-one told me about!) It stood for "Placenta abutting OS". "OS" apparrently is the internal top end of the cervix. Previously I had been told I had low lying anterior placenta, but as instead of it moving up the placenta wall as the uterus inflates (somewhat like a party balloon), it has crept its blood vessels downwards right upto the cervical opening (hence the term abutting). As such it falls into the category of Placenta Previa., which makes a vaginal delivery much more risky for me and the baby.

With everything else going on, I told her straight that I am not so vain as to worry about scarring just the safest outcome for both me and my baby. She said, although most of Zach is at full terms size, his lungs are not mature enough yet. She wants me to try to hold out for another two weeks to see if placenta moves up (which is doubtful) and for his lungs to mature a bit more. That would put me at 35 + 1 day on my next growth scan. If in the meantime, GD is proven, having the appropriate meds might buy me a little more time. If he carries on his current path his abdomin will be 43/44 weeks size when I have my next scan, which with the added amniotic fluid is putting my uterus under terrific strain of pre term labour already.

I was told off for not going in yesterday for voluntary tracing. I had not had any movements for about 3 or 4 hours ( a result of a disagreement with my M-I-L about giving my DD2 money for cigarettes, an action which DH and I will not condone,) which escalated with MIL making very nasty unfounded, personal and vicious comments about me in order to try and get DH to side with her. He helped me back into bed with my fetal heart monitor and told me to try and relax and concentrate on the baby, while he went back downstairs to stand up to his mother with a few home truths. He told her in no uncertain terms that she was requested to come and stay to help me get my bedrest by get DD3 to and from school, and her attitude towards me has been disgraceful since she arrived.

Just a few examples: despite having a diabetic husband herself and full- knowing the issue with ketones and I must eat something every 3-4 hours, MIL cooked and served dinner for the whole family BUT me and when DH asked what she had made to keep our unborn son going, she reluctantly offered to make me TOAST! Despite being on bedrest, the next day I orchestrated DD1 and 2 to make a roast dinner and peeled potatoes in my lap so I would be assured of a proper dinner. I made enough dinner to feed 8 , 5 of us plus MIL plus my 2am and 5am breakfasts. I got DD1 to cover my extra portions to go in the fridge, so I could have them when I was ready. When I came down at 2, they were not in the kitchen fridge, but we have an overflow fridge in our utility room outside, but it was raining heavily, and I didnt want to risk slipping over in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep, so I had a sandwich instead. After the kids were at school, I fancied the rest of my roast dinner so I got up to reheat my roast and put some fresh gravy on it. I went outside as it had stopped raining and couldnt find it in the outside fridge. With DH being diabetic he has been known to awake starving and not always observe the laws of leftovers, but he hadnt touched it. I knew DD1 had wrapped the food cos I saw her do it as I was taking my iron pills. I dont know why I looked in the bin, but I did. My neatly wrapped tin foil parcels with the enclosed dinner were in the BIN! BOTH OF THEM! I told her she had no business throwing my food away when I had deliberately set out to provide for my son's health. She started shrieking that I was over-reacting and there was very little food there anyway. The fact was they were SNACKS! DH came in and told her not throw any food or clothes (4 pairs of my maternity trousers have mysteriously gone missing out of the wash since she arrived) or anything else away without speaking to him first, and then he told me to have some toast instead. TOAST! my money has always paid the food bill, I dont know if I could have been more upset if she had doused my wallet in petrol and set light to it!

So in light of everything that has happened since she arrived he told her he would not stand by and allow her deliberately upset me and put Zach's life in jeopardy, and would hold her directly responsible for any adverse outcome as though she had driven a knife through my belly with her own hands. She was still trying to defend her spiteful comments as he started throwing her bags out into the porch, telling her to leave.

He ignored her ranting to come up to help me find Zach's heartbeat, cos my tummy was riddled with contractions (courtesy of my irritable uterus), and with all the extra fluid it has been difficult to locate with handheld devices even by the hospital staff. Eventually, I managed to find his heartbeat, and kept an eye on the beats per minute for a while to make sure I wasnt reading my elevated heart rate by mistake. Then I felt a little fidget, not a big one, just a little one. I knew my boy was ok, so I really didnt see the point of ringing in and making a fuss, then making a 50 mile trip to "cry wolf" when I knew Zach was alive and moving, so I just tried to get some rest and promptly fell asleep. Unfortunately, MIL dragged all her stuff back in while I was asleep and refused to leave under her own steam knowing full well that DH would not leave me alone for 4 hours in a fragile state while he drove her home and back.

According to the hospital, I should feel at least 10 movements in 10 hours, going 3 - 4 hours without any discernable movements is too long, and that using my own fetal heart monitor maybe providing false re-assurance. If after an hour I have not felt a movement, I must lay perfectly still and concentrate on feeling the slightest fidget. If I cannot feel a flutter or fidget within 30 minutes, I must ring the hospital for advice, which invariably means "come in for tracing for 30 minutes now clear off and go home". Of course, I want DH with me, but as he works 70 miles away himself its gonna be nearly two hours before he gets home before we then drive 45 minutes to the hospital together. I dont want to be calling DH home 2 or 3 times a week cos there is too much fluid in there to feel Zach moving properly.

The only friends I have here dont drive, and it doesnt really qualify as 999 for ambulance either, so I am a bit stuck really. Even MIL doesnt drive so its not like I can continue to sever my tongue for the sake of a ride to hospital. There is a train once an hour to the town where I have to go, and I could then get a taxi the 1/2 mile to hospital, but I would need to take out a 2nd mortgage if I had to go door to door by taxi 2 or 3 times a week.

The main thing is to watch for in the next two weeks, is the slightest leak of fluid or any blood, then I can go for 999 and not have to worry. In that scenario, DH will just have to make it back as quick as he can!

I am just grateful for small mercies, and no fluid in Zach's head and body is a great comfort to me, although I still dont like the idea of his body being out of proportion.

Fingers crossed ladies that all of us who are fed up of being pregnant all get to the stage where we can deliver our babies safely and start enjoying life once again.

love and baby dust to us all!

xxxx