20-11-2009 - Zachary's birth blog part 2 - early hours in SBCU

My mood while writing this blog: relieved

After the unsuccessful attempts to raise Zach's blood sugar from the hypo at 1.8, Zach was taken to SCBU.

Unknown to us, Zach's prematurity meant that despite the steroids I was given in the previous week to help mature his lungs, he was struggling to breathe on his own hence his purply colour in theatre and the recovery room.

Coupled with that his digestive system couldnt cope with processing formula milk and maintain his breathing at the same time, therefore the decision was made in SCBU to pump out the contents of his stomach, put him in an incubator on oxygen through nose tube and helmet, and insert glucose drip through his now untangled belly button.

It was almost 7 hours after he was born before we were told any of this information. They called DH to go down to SCBU on his own as my blood pressure was still somewhat erratic, and asked him to tell me as much as he thought appropriate.

DH was gone for ages, he came back up and I was completely shell shocked as he told me our beautiful boy was wired up like a borg from Star Trek. He had electrodes on his chest, oxygen tubes in his nose, glucose line going in his belly button and blood gas line coming out, canulas in his feet to draw blood easily to check his blood sugars, and canulas in his hands for anti-biotics for the group b strep. DH wasnt allowed to touch him even through the port-hole in the incubator, but did take a photo of him in the incubator.

It broke my heart that we had struggled for 8 months to keep the pregnancy going and at the moment of triumph we were separated to continue our fight independantly of each other. I begged to go down and see him, but the midwives said I wasn't well enough and I would have to wait for the morning.

DD1 was allowed a quick look through at him, although SCBU was technically closed to all visitors except parents because of swine flu.

The next day I had feeling back in my legs so the midwife was able to move me out of bed and into a wheelchair, catheter bag covered discreetly with a blanket and together DH and I went to see our boy.

A very nice nurse came over and tried to reassure us that he was still better being delivered early and that initial signs were good. We asked about him going purple and if he would have any lasting damage, she couldnt say, but because it was dealt with promptly chances were small. We asked how long his recovery would take she told us that they look at the due date and if the baby is well enough before then its a bonus.

We were ushered into the high dependency nursery where there were typical thin and sickly looking premature babies in every incubator, then there was Zach 3 times the size, a nice healthy pink courtesy of his spaceman like oxygen helmet, naked bar a nappy and a woolly hat. He looked such a fraud compared to the other babies, I felt that the other babies were somehow more deserving, but the truth of all the monitors, wires and tubes were staring us in the face, size means nothing, he needed help supporting his large frame. We just stared at him for ages, I asked if I could touch him, I was allowed to put my hand in through one of the portholes. I stroked his forearm as it was the only part of him that seemed real and un-violated. After a few minutes all the alarms went off and the nurses came flying in. The oxygen and warmth levels had dropped because of the open port-hole so I had to be separated from him again.

I was told that he may be on glucose for several days but to start collecting my colostrum so it could be frozen for when he was ready for it. At last, this was something I could focus on doing for Zach whilst everyone got on with keeping him going for me.