05-9-2009 - a hopefully better view of the convo between my ex husband and i

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

man the baby aint mine i got the results yesterday kandi i dont know what imma do i love that lil boy and she just gone on wit her life and dont give a fuck about me. i guess this is payback for how i treated you baby girl i am so sorry on the real i treated you like shit kandi and im sorry ma i still love baby girl

I SAID:

I would lie if I say i felt sorry for you, but I cant simply because you have yet to mention my daughter, you so upset that this lil boy aint yours, but did you forget that you have a 2 month old baby girl that is yours that you have not asked about, you haven't called to see how she was doing, I know you adopted cam and all but I have come to acccept the fact that you are not there for him, but JhiaVahni is your biological daughter your flesh and blood and you just dont care, but you sad because the you wanted to be yours isn't, but I dont worry because when she is calling someone else daddy and you are just javion to her, then maybe you will realize. My daughter dont need you, but a real man would be there for his child whether she 5, 500, or 500,000 miles away and you my friend are not a real man. Just an imitation, at least my daughters and sons will know what kind of man they will not become or become involved with. I am sorry the child you wanted aint yours, but the one you dont care about is. Trust me if I could change it, I would. Keiron is a better man then you will ever be and more of a father to her as well.

HE SAID:

man you no i love that lil gurl and i love you and i jus want us to work ma so u really gone tell me aint no way ever we gone be together i will move to florida venus man whereever to be wit you and the kids i love all of em because they a part of you i jus wont us to work it out and yea that shit di hurt she picture of the cat that is the daddy basically saying fuck me i cant believe she did me like that i thought she was a good one on the real tho

I SAID:

Do I love you? Of course I do, I proved that when I said yes I would marry you and when I said my vows. I meant everything I said, unlike you i didnt get married because it was something to do, I got married because I loved you and planned on spending the rest of my life with you and ONLY you, not John, Quincy, and Adam down the street, You did me so wrong and my pride and respect for myself wont let me take you back. I cant. You know it used to kill me. Everyday I cried because I missed you and wanted you back, but now its no point in crying anymore. I dont even want you back, but that dont mean I will ever stop loving you. I cant just go to sleep at night and love you and wake up the next morning and not. Trust me I tried. Thats not real love. What I felt for you was unconditional until you went and broke that trust. True enough I still love you no matter how many times I tell myself and others I dont, but the truth is that I am not in love with you, but I am with my new man. Like I said before its your lost.

BTW: I WAS RE-READING THE CONVERSATION, SO I SEE MY DAUGHTER IS JUST THAT LIL GURL NOW, SHE IS NOT WORTHY OF A NAME AND HE STILL DIDNT MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT CAMERON, SHOWS HOW MUCH HE REALLY LOVE MY BABIES