ADDISYNS~MUM's I-am-pregnantblog

ADDISYNS~MUM
	Age: 23 Country: USA Province/region: City: Partner: ---- Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: No Occupation: sahm, and home care
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 177 days ago. Member since: 1179 days
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06-4-2009 - my mom dont understand

My mood while writing this blog:
irritated

ok... so im starting to work part time this week at the golf course... ive been there for 3 years and i LOVE it!!! anyways... my mom offered to watch Addisyn the days that i open because tyler is a teacher and he wont be getting home until 530ish because he is also a golf coach... so my hours change a little through out this month... some days i work from 8am-2pm and others i work from 2-close (usually around 730pm this time of year) ... the days that i 8-2 my mom is going to go into work at 2am so she will be done by the time i have to go to work... and then the other days shell go to work when she normally does... so here is the problem

my mom smokes like no other... my mom has a doctors apt one of the days that she said that she would watch addy... so she wanted to know if she could take my carseat to take her... AN HOUR AWAY!!! i said no at first for specific reasons... 1. my moms car REAKS!!! of smoke... stale (sp) smoke... disgusting!!! and i dont want our carseat smells like that! 2. she tried to strap her into our car seat (several times) and each time ive found something that she had done wrong with strapping her in... 3. im a new mom and im not yet comfortable with other people driving my baby around... especially and hour away! not that i dont trust her... its just im still a nervous FIRST time mommy!

heres the other problem... now she said that today shes going to clean her car and there will be NO more smoking in it... and i dont know if i can trust that... because ive caught her smoking in her bathroom under the fan... and i can smell it when i first walked in to there house... yes its THEIR house... but i dont want MY baby to be smelling that... so now that makes me wondering if she really will stop smoking in her car... and even if she did clean the car today... you cant get that smell out very easily! and now she said that she is going to get her own carseat so she wont have to use ours... and now im upset... its not only the smoke... its ALSO that i dont want her driving addy around...

so what do i do now??? she wont take NO for an answer... she has to try and understand where im coming from... she told me today "im working with you and now you have to work with me!" ok i get that... but she cant even strap addy in right in a car seat ... and i DONT want her diving an hour even a half hour away! and she needs to try and understand that... and im scared that shell go behind my back and do it anyways...

sorry i had to vent... but if you have any ideas of what to do or say... please help... im soooo stuck right now... thank you

6 Comments on my mom dont understand

babygirl (pink) - Monday, 6 Apr
addysin, i think it's a good idea that your mother wants to get her own car seat. that way, you can get a professional to fit the car seat safely, and she won't have to keep removing it. it can stay in the car nice and safely strapped. smoking is an addictive habit. am sure your mum means well and she won't want to hurt your baby. you should be able to know if she smoked around your baby coz your baby will smell cigarette smoke when you come home.

flybear - Monday, 6 Apr
Hmmm...Well if your mom is the one that you've entrusted to take care of her, most likely you will eventually have to get past it and let her ride in a car with your mother. However, for now explain to your mother again that you are a nervous 1st time and that you prefer taking baby steps. For now you would really like for her to stay around town with your daughter. Make sure she doesn't feel like you don't trust her though cause that will only cause her to get defensive and possibly start a fight. However in the future you may be okay with her driving Addy around and it may not be a bad idea for her to have her own carseat installed, especially if there were an emergency. I think it would be wrong to ask your mother to reschedule her dr's appointment though, so for this one time I would try to make other arrangements for Addy. As for the smoking, you really just have to give her a chance and see how she does if this is who you want to care for your child. Those are just my thoughts. Hope I could help.

mamatobe269 - Monday, 6 Apr
Well just remeber that we were raised by our parents that are now watchin our lil ones.. If we are still alive then that shows somethin on their behalf lol Puttin that aside though I personaly dont care if they raised me or not I'm still nervous as shit to give her to ANYONE!! LOL Weird huh?

ADDISYNS~MUM - Monday, 6 Apr
its not that i dont trust her... but like i said in the blog i dont want her driving an hour... maybe i can get used to her driving in town... IF she needs something... but i can see her... wanting to drive her to all her friends house to show her off... and that im not to sure about either... if she needs to go to the store then i guess im gunna have to get over this... and i have showed her each time i found that she did something wrong with strapping her into her carseat... but then there is something different that is wrong the next time... but it is getting progressivly better....

~amy~ - Monday, 6 Apr
I am nervous about having anyone drive Joel around too! I let my older sister drive him but only because she has a 3yr old, a 1 1/2 yr old and is pregnant with her third!
Maybe you and your mom could take a carseat class together to ease your mind about her putting her in the carseat correctly? But then she would still be driving her.. which you don't want! I'm with you on that one! You are the mommy and what you say goes. I know that you are working and need to have her watch her but if she goes behind your back you need to let her know that that is NOT acceptable in anyway. Plus the smoking is an issue that I strongly believe in too.. second hand smoke is such an issue with small babies! My aunt smokes and even if she hasn't smoked all day she still stinks of it and it gets ALL OVER the baby!
You say she won't take no for an answer.. you need to sit down with her and have a strong talk about exactly why you don't want her driving with your baby and about the smoke. Maybe if you say it directly and it might hurt her feelings but maybe that will make the point with her. Good luck!

michaela - Monday, 6 Apr
If your mum is being good enough to look after addy and you trust her to look after her then you will just have trust her to get on with it. There comes a time when you have to let go, i know it's hard but at least she is making an effort, by cleaning the car etc. It also shows she's commited to make this work by going out and buying a car seat, presumably she'll be given instruction by the shop on how to fit the seat. It is going to be hard for you all, but you need to keep calm and explain to her your worries. I probably would go with her to get the n ew car seat, make sure she is taught how to use it, it is alwaysuseful for you both to have a carseat, especially in an emergency.
As time moves on it'll get easier for you all.
All the best.

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