09-11-2009 - Confused/update

My mood while writing this blog: IDK

Hey ladies! Lemme first say I hope all is well in motherhood and baby land! For me Mike is doing great. He is getting soooo big. It's hard to believe that I had this lil boy 3 months ago. He's 12lbs 8 oz and is 24 in long. He is a handful already tryin to move across the bed. Ive been back at work for awhile now and its good. I finally got a great schedule...Mon-wed and every friday. Any who dad has been around and everything with father and son is great. If some of you remember he wasnt around during the pregnancy or when mike was born. But he has really step up and proved himself to be a great father. I guess this is where the confushion comes in to play.....

Lamar and I (thats mikes dad) have been doing great until we (and I use that term losely) decided to give us another go round and in less than 24hrs we were done. He forced it and I let it go. So we decided to wait but Im not sure if I want to. I mean I love lamar I really do but I am not about to sit and wait on him to soak his oats or whatever it is that he needs to do. He admits I am the best thing he has right now and that he sees a future with me...so why do I have to wait? Am I being selfish? IDK I need some advice.

THX in advance! Baby dust to all!