19-10-2010 - Heartbroken

My mood while writing this blog: sad

Oct 19/10

Well Ladies, I just got home from the hospital again. I had more bleeding, and lots of cramping this morning. I had Aidens nana come pick him up so i could drive my self to the ER. my bf is at work today but on his way home right now. I am so heartbroken to say that the Dr suspects ill lose the baby in the next 24-72 hours. Thats a long period of waiting and praying that this baby will make it. The STUPID Dr that i saw the other morning didnt say that, so why now? They gave me the big long speech that "this is natures way" and that "The baby is missing some chromosomes to grow properly or whatever" and im like im 10 weeks along, my body would have gotten rid of the baby earlier on if there was something wrong. But they did say the first 12 weeks anything can happen. Im in utter shock and disbelief that is happening to me. I really hope they are wrong and the baby will make it. I had one miscarriage a long time ago when i was 17 and i didnt even know i was pregnant at the time. But now that I have a son, and I know the feeling and the love, and my bf and I are so happy Im pregnant again. but i just cant believe this. Im sorry if im just rambling on. I have to really take it easy! Anyways, Im waiting for Matt to get home, then im going to cuddle on the couch and we will pray our bean is ok!!!

Thanks for reading and Ill update u soon. Just going to be a tough waiting and seeing what happens.

UPDATE: Oct 20/10

Hi Ladies, thanks for all ur kind words and support!!! Means a lot to me. Well as of right now, im still pregnant. I was at the hospital at 6am this morning. The Dr did an ultrasound and blood work and my bleeding has stopped. The baby is still moving, but he tried to get the best look ever, but it looks like something on babies stomach.(I dont know how he could tell since the baby so small still but i guess hes the pro) He said he was pretty sure I was going to be doing a D and C (give birth to baby). He still thinks the risks are high ill lose the baby.(yay just what i wanted to hear) My mom came with me and I have so much support and she even told me she lost a baby at 4 months between me and one sister. She has never told me that before!! Oh and the Dr even said to me that if it doesnt happen now, it could happen further along because from what he sees somethings not right.!!!! I dont know what to do. Like thats a hard thing to tell someone that wel if u dont lose it now ull lose it later...like dont tell me that because u know what, that doesnt make me feel better about it. I was just so happy to see the baby still moving and thats what he tells me! Gee im not gunna worry constatly now. I swear this hospital has the stupidest Dr's. My mom just tells me to stay strong and not worry cuz i shouldnt be stressing. Its just so darn hard not too. I want this baby more then anything. Anyways, thanks again for ur support and im jst going to have to wait it out and pray for the best.