11-6-2009 - Good Morning turned sour

My mood while writing this blog: sad

I got pretty decent sleep last night and had my little Isaiah next to me last night so it's always a pleasure waking up with him next to me, especially when he doesn't kick me at night LOL And the morning went smoothly with Isaiah being an awesome little boy this morning getting dressed when he was told and then brushing his teeth when told. He actually even turned the TV off when I said it was time to leave! I also got out the door a little earlier than normal. Can't beat that :o) I made my long 45minute drive to work and it wasn't too bad. Had those people in the carpool lane trying to go 55mph but I was able to get around them quickly. I even called in and HOV violator on my way into work since they guy was clearly weaving in and out of the HOV lane cutting people off and he didn't have any passengers. Cannnot stand it when people do that so I just report them all the time!

So I get to Isaiah's daycare to drop him off and the director says "Oh I forgot to mention to you yesterday.... You daycare assistance called and they aren't paying this month". GREAT! I knew the gal from the child care resource place was supposed to call me back by the end of the week but I guess she just decided to call the daycare instead. I am really upset because I need all the help I can get with daycare. It's $170/week and although the money I was getting to assist was only $147/month it was still some help that I could use. But I guess I will not even be getting that right now because I have moved out of the city I used to live in. And it didn't matter that they had approved me through this month, they just simply cut me off and I now have to pay the daycare tomorrow the higher amount instead of the smaller amount I would normally pay the 2nd week of the month.

I am just upset because I have been trying so hard to pay my bills and get out of debt and the little tiny couple of hundred I had saved is now having to go towards daycare because I get cut off. I make too much to get help from DSHS and now I don't live in the correct city to get help from this place. I am looking into other options but I am starting to panick a little. Since gas prices have gone up I am spending about $70/week on gas alone to drive to a job I hate and sit in traffic/commute for 2 extra hours a day. And I have to pay a huge tuition for daycare so I can work to what, pay daycare and gas to drive back and forth?!?!?! Doesn't make any sense to me.

I am so tired of this crap I am having to deal with figuring out what I am going to do to frickin pay all these damn bills and yet I am not saving anything for my future. Plus I am going on leave soon! I don't know what to do. I make WAY more than Jason does and I am just not sure how his income is going to supplement all the bills. But maybe it will work out since I won't have the daycare bill and the gas bills to cover, just my credit card and my car payment and household stuff. I just want to curl up and cry right now because I have been going through these struggles for too long now with money. How can they say a "single mom" makes too much money and then expect her to pay $800+/month in childcare and make it? And the only reason I say single mom is because Jason has not yet moved in yet and I am not sure when that will happen. It might be at the end of this month, maybe next? I dunno.

I am very frustrated right now and so tired of trying to figure out what I am going to do. There is always a problem with something... I wish things would just stay going good for an extended period of time :( And I am so tired of asking my mom for help because I already owe her so much. Why does it seem so impossible for me to get ahead?