04-12-2009 - annoyed...need to vent...

My mood while writing this blog: well... annoyed LOL

For the last couple of days Jason and I have been fighting. Well more rather I am displeased with him and his behaviors. He has been drinking more and it is so hard to communicate with him when he gets drunk. He feels that to "get there" he needs to drink fast so he can enjoy his drunk before he has to go to bed. He gets home @ 3:15pm so usually by the time I get home @ 4:30pm he is already pretty tipsy. He then continues to drink and become rather annoying to me. He has also started smoking again and that absolutely disgusts me. I can't stand the way it smells and it makes my stomach turn. I have told him this and told him I would even withhold sex until he stops. He thinks I am a bitch for that, but whatever. It grosses me out. I don't care if he wants to drink because I enjoy drinking too, but the level he takes it to is just too much. I try to point it out but since he is drunk he cannot understand. Then the next day I try to talk about it and he says, sorry you feel that way and thinks it has something to do with him not starting our movie fast enough last night LOL He is crazy! LOL It was his idea to have a movie night last night and then @ 6pm I am saying lets start a movie.... well he says he's going to the garage to get something.... 40 minutes pass by and I go to find him smoking and talking on the phone. I don't care if he wants to talk on the phone or whatever but don't leave me hanging. So then he comes in and I'm like, let's watch this movie. Well then more time passes he is doing random (drunk) things and then it's almost 8pm and we have no started the movie. I am irritated and I state it to him. Then he says he doesn't understand and he has been nice to me all night yadda yadda yadda. I am like you being nice is not the issue LOL, like I said he is hard to communicate with. Then we start arguing about everything. He tries to say he pays the bills which isn't possible when I am paying 2/3 the rent myself all while I am paying him money back for what he put up on moving in expenses. I say whatever and let him know I need him to help out more. I work full time as does he but when I get home I don't get to sit down and relax... I have to clean, cook, do laundry and take care of the kids. He then says well I took the trash to and from the curb.......... WOW are you serious?!?!?! I do it more often than he does LOL Most nights I don't get to sit down til 9pm and then I am the one that wakes up with the baby ALL NIGHT LONG. He usually is passed out and snoring so loud I can hear him from the opposite side of the house. He probably wouldn't even hear the baby crying over himself. ARGGH I am frustrated with him. The only time he wants to hang around me is when he wants sex or money. I told him he needs to get it together or we are going to be done.... But we just moved into a house on a 17 months lease so realistically that might not be an option. I just want him to realize what he is doing. He said he would do counseling or whatever but the last counselor we had gone to he lied to my face to look good in front of the guy. I am just getting burnt out. The weeks are long and busy and by the weekend I am ready to SLEEP and relax. We are supposed to go to a Christmas party tomorrow night for his workplace but I don't know if I even want to go anymore. There will be an open bar and last year Jason got sooooo drunk (surprise surprise) he almost got sick on the car ride home. It is going to be catered so it will probably be good like last year but I don't want to go and pretend to be happy with him.... Ok now I have said my piece... I better get back to work. Hope you all are having a great day and have a great weekend!!