29-10-2009 - It's getting closer :)

My mood while writing this blog: Nervous

So tommorow I am off to being 31 weeks pregnant. I have been an emotional wreck and have been having a lot of different thoughts. I can not believe that I could deliver my baby in 9 weeks more or less. I am so afraid and I am getting very anxious. I am afraid it is going to hurt, that I won't be able to get him out, or something will go wrong. I think it's just not knowing what is ahead and what to expect that is making me very nervous. The thing is I don't want to let him go either. I want him to stay in my belly so that I can protect him from this world and I can continue to feel his kicks and cherish every moment I have with him. I don't want to have to share him with anybody. I want him to be all mine :). On the otherhand I want to meet him and hold my baby Jacob. I can't sleep, I have aches and pains, and it is hard to do normal activities so I do want him to come out lol. See what I mean about this emotional roller coaster? The other thing is I have been having thoughts that I am not going to be a good mommy. I want to try soo hard to breastfeed but I am so afraid I am going to fail. Does anybody have any breastfeeding tips for a new mommy? I don't know why I am having these doubts but I know none of this will matter the second I hold my baby Jacob. I already love this baby more than anything and I know my love for him for just multiply when I see his adorable little face. I can't wait to meet him

Well yesterday, I had my 30 week appointment. My stomach is measuring 34 weeks though. So now it's measuring 4 weeks ahead. However 2 weeks ago, I was only measuring 2 weeks ahead. My doctor won't change my due date though. She said he's just going to be a big baby. I told her I worried about him still laying transverse but she said not to worry about it yet and that he has plenty of time to move into position. I lost 2 lbs but now that I think about it.. I haven't had much of an appetite the past 2 weeks. I have actually had to force myself to eat because it doesn't matter what I eat I keep getting heartburn. It leads to me feeling very nauseos. So I think that's why I lost the weight but I hope I gain from now on lol. I don't want to deprive him of anything and I want him to grow and be healthy. I have to go back to the doctor's on November 11. But anyways, I think the rest of this pregnancy is going to go pretty quickly especially with the holidays approaching. I have my baby shower on November 29 and I can not wait :). Well I am off.. hope everyone has a good day!