15-2-2010 - Michaels Pregnancy Blogs (Part 1)

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

6-7-2009 ~ What’s it Going to be This Time?

So I know I'm not even sure if this is a real pregnancy, but I can't help but be nervous. I literally JUST had a miscarriage and I'm reading about so many of us going through multipe m/c's. I just really want a healthy baby. I don't think I'll relax until I feel the baby move. Even then doesn't help. I've read how some mom's have gone to a pre-csection appt and the baby was fine and then the next day the baby had passed away. I can't even imagine how they must feel. I'm not sure I'm that strong.

I'm assuming I'm only about 4-5 weeks pregnant (I never had a period after my d&c...I know. Bad girl) so I could still wind up having a chemical pregnancy. I haven't told too many people, but even the ones I've told would feel horrible if I went through a m/c again so soon. I'm trying not to think about it all, but it's impossible. I'm trying not to get excited, but I just adore children. I really want one of my own.

Well my first blood test is tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes.

Wish me luck! –Heather

6-8-2009 ~ Blood

**WARNING** LOTS OF VULGAR BD TALK. DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE SHY

So DH and I had BD last night. For some reason I was REALLY h---- so I wanted it to last a little longer than normal. I decided we should have fun with toys. Well one thing led to another and at some points it got kind of rough. Not painful, but definitely not romantic. So when everything was all done, I went to the bathroom to clean up. And blood....lots and lots of blood. Not AF blood. REAL blood. It really scared me. At the time I was hoping I didn't just kill my child.

So I called my BFF and her thinking is that I just tore something along the walls and it's probably ok. I'll talk to my doctor today, but geez! Why does pregnancy have to be so dang scary!?!

On a funny note, here are some funny things we said during the deed:

DH: "I'm just going to c-- in your ok?" Me: "I'm already pregnant dumbass. You can't get me pregnant again."

Me: "If this just killed our child we are never having sex while pregnant again." DH: "Mannnnnn"

Obviously I realize a m/c is not funny AT ALL, but sometimes you have to make the mood light when you're actually terrified.

6-8-2009 ~ Update

So I went to my doctor's appt today and I'm highly disappointed. My appt time was 3:00pm. I got there at 2:55 and the doctor didn't see me until 4:55! I was so annoyed. I just want to know if I'm actually pregnant or not! She said she will have me do the beta testing, which I'm happy about. She wasn't concerned about my bleeding after BD. She just said no more BD until the baby is "securely in there." Well that's kind of relative. When would that be exactly? Lol. Oh well. The bad thing is that I'm actually in the mood all the time! During my first pregnancy I didn't want it at all, so this one is already different. Hopefully that's good news!

So by the time she was done with me, the lab was closed. That means I'll be going tomorrow. I also got a job in LA yesterday so I'll have to see if they have another lab there for my second test. I am starting to get excited about this pregnancy so I hope the numbers go up. It might be for nothing, but something tells me it's not. I have to have faith that this one will stick.

**STICKY BABY DUST TO ALL**

6-11-2009 ~ Conflicted

Little update: I went to the doctor's on Tueday and had blood drawn. I haven't heard anything back from them yet as far as what my levels were. I would have been about 4 weeks at the time so I'm assuming not very high. I'll post on here when I find out what they are.

So I moved back to my mom's house for 3 days a week because I got a job in LA (2 hours away from my house). So far no one knows I'm pregnant again. I don't want to disappoint my mom again with a miscarriage. She was sooo upset last time. I think she cried more than I did. So I'm planning on waiting until this baby makes it past the dreaded 8 weeks (for me 8 weeks is the mile marker. That seems to be when the heart stops if it's going to). It's so difficult not to talk to my mom about how I'm feeling. My little sister straight up asked, "You seem pregnant again. Are you?" Holy crap! So I told her, but I asked her to keep it from my mom. It's hard when I'm sleeping 90% of the day and feel like crap when I'm awake. Thankfully we work opposite schedules so she shouldn't see me that much. She offered to give me a left over pregnancy test she had "for the next time I get pregnant."

Funny - We were at work the other day and I said, "Man! This coffee smells sooo nasty!" Her response, "Wait until you're pregnant again. Then coffee will smelly REALLY nasty!" I just about died.

**STICKY BABY DUST TO ALL!**

6-15-2009 ~ Blood Test Results

So I just got back from 3 doctors appointments and I still have barely any answers. I took a blood test last Tuesday and expected the results on Thursday. I called at 3pm because I hadn't heard from them and they didn't pick up. So I called Friday and still no answer. I decided to just go into the office today and demand the results. So they gave them to me! Yay! Except they were kind of useless! All they said was "positive". Booooo. I want to know the actual numbers. I already knew it was positive. Hence the positive hpts....all that test told me was that my levels were about 20. Ok...

So my second doctors appointment was my second blood draw. Hopefully I get the results a little faster this time and they will give me the numbers so I can see if they are doubling every few days. I really hope they are! My BBs are starting to get sore so I'm excited. I hope this means this pregnancy is healthy!

My third appointment was just to schedule an ultrasound for next Monday so I can see how far along I am. I never had an AF after my m/c, so I think I'm somewhere between 5 and 6 weeks, but I won't know for sure until I have an ultrasound.

Well.....baby dust to all TTC and I hope everyone is feeling well with their pregnancies! :)

6-17-2009 ~ Final HCG Numbers!

So I dont know if they are good or not, but as I was pulling up to my inlaws I got a call from my doctor. See I took a blood test on Monday and wasn't expecting the results until today. They came early and came on Tuesday! I was so excited :) So she told me they were 20,790! I was so excited. I was expecting like 2,000 or less for some reason. So when she told me 20,790 I was shocked! From the numbers I think this means that I'm 6 weeks along. Since the number is so high anyway. That or twins. Crossing my fingers for just 1. I'd love twins eventually, but not my first time around.

So what do you guys think? 20, 790 good for 5-6 weeks? What were your numbers (if you found out) at first and second blood drawn? They didn't have the numbers for my first one. Just that it was above 20.

6-20-2009 ~ Sick as a Dog!

So I dont mean to complain or anything (because I think it means it's healthy) but I am sick as a dog! I'm not actually throwing up, but I'm more nauseaous than I've ever been in my entire life! I'm EXHAUSTED, but I can't sleep because every time I lay down I feel like I'm going to lose it! I can't wait until Monday when I can find out more info. A lot of the girls in my week have pretty low hcg numbers so I'm thinking I must be further along or twins. I can't wait to just find out! I decided if it's twin girls I'm going with Arilyn and Avaya. What do you guys think? I dont really have names for boys, but we'll see how it goes Monday and then I can start to decide.

But back to my sickness? Any advice? I'm also coming down with a cold. Can I take cold medicine?

6-23-2009 ~ First Ultrasound

I went in for my first ultrasound yesterday and even though it was uncomfortable (vaginal), I AM SO HAPPY! The doctor said I am measuring at 6w4d and that everything looks great. It's not twins. Only one! He found baby's heartbeat and let me hear it. Only for a second though. It seemed kind of slow, but I'm not going to worry about that. I could see it! I never got to see it with the first one so I'm thrilled. I go back in another 2 weeks to go over my blood work and have another u/s. This is when I'll be really nervous. I lost my last baby at about 8 weeks. I'll be 8w4d so I'm sure I'll be holding my breath when I get there. I can't wait though. I REALLY want this baby.

So my nerves start already though. Yesterday my BBs hurt so bad I couldn't lift my arms! Today they are a only a little sore. I hate losing symptoms :( Why can't they just stay super sore until I see my baby again?

Funny: I was hanging out with my little sister (who smokes) and we're talking and laughing and she breathes in my face.
Me: "Uhh! You smell like cigarettes! Gross!"
Her: "I'll forgive you. That's just baby growling."
So now whenever my husband does something that's starting to annoy me I say, "You better watch out. Baby's gunna growl at you!"

I'm having so much fun with this pregnancy. I thought I'd be so much more worried, but I feel good about this one. Of coarse I'm dreding the 8 week u/s, but I'll get over it.

6-27-2009 ~ Might be the End

I'm home from work early today. Not for a good reason. I'm starting to spot pretty bad. I was spotting since implantation, but I kind of thought it might just be brown tinted discharge. Today was different. My co-workers all yelled at me to go home so I did. I didn't even ask my boss. I just walked out. I hope I don't lose my job on top of everything. I can't afford to go to the ER so I guess I'm just sitting here waiting it out. Crossing my fingers that for some strange reason everything is ok. I don't think I can handle another miscarriage. I want a baby. :( I'm thankful that I can get pregnant so easy, but it doesn't ease the pain of losing them so easy as well.

I'm staying in bed and drinking lots of water, but I'm just nervous as hell. My next doctor's appt isn't until July 6th. He'll do an u/s then, but it may be too late by then.

Wish me luck ladies....

6-28-2009 ~ Not Sure What to Think

So when I got home I layed down and took a nap and then went shopping with my mom. I only had a little bit more spotting before I went to bed and only a little spotting this morning. They are still brown so I'm hoping it's nothing. My mom did a ton of research while I was sleeping and she believes that it might just be my uterus growing. My cramping was consistant and not on and off so hopefully they aren't contraction-like cramps. I'm still going to the doctors on Monday so he can check my cervix to see how everything is going, but I'm a little more relaxed about it now.

My mom also found that some women have their period while they are pregnant? I don't exactly understand how that works since the cervix is supposed to be closed, but maybe I'm one of those. Yesterday would have been when I was supposed to start my AF again.

Trying to stay optimisitc. I'll keep you updated....

6-29-2009 ~ Good News!

EVERYTHING IS OK!!!

My doctor kind of sucks, but the general idea is that everything is ok. I spent almost 2 hours waiting to get into the doctor's office and he only spent about 5 minutes with me, but the news I got is that he has no idea why I'm spotting so much or why I'm having intense cramps, but baby is measuring right on target at 7w4d and it had a really fast heartbeat this time. He didn't tell me the rate (because he's horrible), but it was way faster than last time so I'm content for the time being. I go back next Monday for my regularly scheduled appt and hope that everything is still fine. The cramping is what scares me the most I think. Until then I'm going to take it easy and try not to stress.

Yay for sticky baby!

7-1-2009 ~ On a War Path

I'm sure it's pregnancy related (because what isn't right now), but I am soooooo irritated alllll the time. Everything bothers me. Either bothers me or makes me cry. I feel like a basket case. Let's take today for example.

1) The skin on my stomach is peeling! Like I got a sunburn type peeling. I've been drinking tons of water, taking my vitamins and putting on lotion twice a day and it's still peeling. This is driving me nuts. I feel like I'm guaranteed major stretch marks if this continues. Any ideas on why it's happening?

2) I'm breaking out like a teenager! It's so gross. I'll deal with it if it means healthy baby in February but is this really necessary?

3) My mom is butting into my sex life. She actually texts me and tells me, "You haven't had sex today have you? Remember. No intercourse until we're sure everything is ok." No offense mom, but it's none of your damn business! Sex is NOT harmful to baby!

4) My mom is smoking at her front door, so if I want to come in the house I have to pass by it. Suck.

5) My mom just came into my room (Im staying with her for part of the week because I work out here) to have a speakerphone conversation with my little sister. Didn't talk to ME at all, just came and bugged the crap out of me.

6) My car stereo decided to stop working 10 minutes into my 2 hr drive to my mom's house.

Notice how most of this has to do with my mom? Blah. This is going to be a long 8 more months. I'm so happy that everything is ok so far, but it's rough being so dang irritated at EVERYTHING that happens in my life.

7-6-2009 ~ Third Ultrasound

I had my third ultrasound today. I'm officially past the date that I lost my last baby. I was incredibly nervous waiting in the room. He started the ultrasound and at first I saw the baby, but I saw no heartbeat.....then it wiggled! The whole baby moved! I was in shock. I didn't realize they moved so early! So he continued probing around and found the heartbeat. Yay! I'm measuring 2 days smaller than I should be, but I'm not going to worry about it. He wants me to come back in 4 weeks. It will be the longest 4 weeks of my life. I'm switching OBs anyway, so he won't have to see me again. He's kind of a bad OB. All he does is ultrasounds. Yes it's great to see your baby, but he doesn't discuss ANYTHING else. No family history, so diet concerns, nothing..... Just "ok baby is this many days along and there's a heartbeat. See you in 4 weeks."

My first appointment with my new OB is tomorrow. I'm hoping she's a little more thorough.

Ok so hard question for those mommies that have lost any babies. Feel free to ignore this question, but I'm just curious. If you'd like to comment you can private message me as to not declare it to everyone. I'm currently 8w2d (on u/s....should be 8w4d). I've passed my point of fear of losing a baby at 8weeks. For those of you that have lost a baby anywhere between 10-13 weeks.....was your baby measuring past 8 weeks? Or were you measuring say 7 weeks when you should have been 10-13? I lost my first baby at technically 10 weeks, but I say 7w5ds because that's when it stopped growing. I know it's personal, but I'm trying to ease my fears a little. I know some women lose them and don't know when they stopped growing. I'm sorry to bring it up and feel free to ignore me.

**Sticky baby dust to all!!**

7-7-2009 ~ Fourth Ultrasound and New OB….Depressed

Before I explain why I'm depressed I'll start with the good news that everything is ok with baby. Or so I assume.

I went to my new OB today because I decided that my previous one was just a pain and I hated him. I thought it was just him. Well apparently it's not. The only thing different about my new OB is that it's further away and I can understand her. My previous OB had such a thick accent that it was difficult to understand.

See I don't know if all OBs are the same, but a midwife is just amazing. I miss my midwife soooo much. I just want to sit here and cry. She was wonderful. She treated me like I was her first patient ever. She wasn't jaded about the miracle of pregnancy and how each one is new and exciting to the patient. She didn't over schedule and spent as much time with me as I needed. She gave me a tour of the facilities, offered for me to watch videos, and just generally treated me like what I was going through was important. BECAUSE IT IS! We are creating miracles and I think we should be treated as such. At my OB offices I feel like they could care less about me. Like I'm not important until I'm actually popping the baby out. It's so frustrating. I want them to be just as excited as I am and be concerned about the same things as me. My husband offered to sell his video game account so I could afford to go to the midwife, but I just couldn't do that to him. It's practically the only thing he enjoys lol.

And the other thing that made me upset. My first OB said my baby was 8w2d yesterday when it should have been 8w4d. Ok...I can deal with that. But my new OB is saying that I'm measuring 8w0d today. Is my child shrinking or are ultrasounds just not that accurate? I'm keeping my Feb 11th due date. I'm so annoyed and frustrated that I'm just not listening to the OB anymore. The baby had a strong hb so that's good, but I'm just depressed. I want to be out of the first trimester and not so dang worried all the time. Stop putting me backwards!

**MIDWIVES ARE THE BEST!**

7-10-2009 ~ Are you Practicing?

So I'm laying on the couch with my husband in my shorts and bra (mind you it's like 100 in my house...no a/c) and we just ate lunch so I have my hand on my tummy. He looks over at me and here was our conversation:

DH: "You practicing?"
Me: "Huh?"
DH: "Are you practicing looking pregnant?"
Me: "What do you mean?"
DH: "Aren't you pushing out?"
Me: "Lol. No! THIS is me pushing out (belly only goes up like an inch)"
DH: "Oh....sorry"
Me: "I'm not practicing looking pregnant. I AM pregnant!"

And then we laughed for a good couple minutes. I suppose at 9 weeks I'm pretty bloated and just feeling bigger in general. People at work are saying "Awww you're starting to show!" I don't have the heart to tell them that it's probably not baby. I haven't actually gained any weight, but I'm definitely bigger. It's weird.

7-14-2009 ~ Ultrasound Tech School

I am so excited! Let me tell you how my day went.....

7:00am - Wake up and take a shower to get ready for a job interview

10:30am - Arrive at job interview and realize it's really a LINE of people waiting to be interviewed for the new Denny's that is opening up. And when I say LINE I mean like 60 people long. It's SUPER hot (like 98 degrees or higher) and I have no umbrella. It took them almost 4 hours to get to me and now I have a major sunburn and I was feeling really crappy because of sun exposure.

2:30pm - Arrive at my friends house for a pool party.

3:30pm - Get the coolest news I've heard in a while!

So here's my news: One of the women at the pool party has a daughter that just started sonography tech school. She said that they are always looking for volunteers to practice on! I am sooooo hoping they will take me and check out the baby. I have been freaking out having to wait until I'm 13 weeks. I want to see my baby as much as possible so I know everything is ok. My uterus is tilted backwards so even a doppler wouldn't help me at the moment. I call them tomorrow to try and schedule and appt. Hopefully they can get me in sooner than my 13 week appt. I can't wait! It would be awesome if they would take me once a week. The only thing that might not work is that I may not have an option of what body part they are going to examine. I think it's still neat. Who knows....I may have a problem that I would have never known about if I hadn't had an ultrasound there. We'll see! I'm so excited I can't stop shaking.

If anyone lives in southern California and is willing to make the trek to Ontario I'll give you the number so you can be a volunteer too! :) I'm sure we'd all love to see our babies as much as we can :)

7-16-2009 ~ 10 Weeks

Everyone else is doing these so I suppose I should too. :) I'm 10 weeks today. Feeling good so far. My BBs are still pretty sore, but all my other symptoms are going by the wayside. I'm getting my energy back and I'm only nauseaous right after I take my prenatal vitamins. I'm definitely getting bigger around the waist, but I haven't gained any weight. I go in on the 22nd to an ultrasound college and I hope they'll be able to show me my baby! Otherwise I have to wait until August 11th....ewwww. Hope everyone is feeling good!

7-16-2009 ~ Pregnancy Measurements

This blog is for my records so feel free to ignore it. I want to see how much weight and how big I'm getting throughout my pregnancy. (weight/waist/total weight gain/weight gain from the previous week)

10 Weeks - 138 lbs / waist 33" (0,0)

11 Weeks - 138 lbs / waist 33" (0,0)

12 Weeks - 137 lbs / waist 35" (-1, -1)

13 Weeks - 134 lbs / waist 33" (-4, -3)

14 Weeks - 137 lbs / waist 36" (-1, 3)

15 Weeks - 137 lbs / waist 36" (-1, 0)

16 Weeks - 140 lbs / waist 36.5" (2, 3)

17 Weeks - 139 lbs / waist 33" (1, -1)

18 Weeks - 142 lbs / waist 36" (4, 3)

19 Weeks - 144 lbs / waist 36" (6, 2)

20 Weeks - 146 lbs / waist 36" (8, 2)

21 Weeks - 148 lbs / waist 36" ( 10, 2)

22 Weeks - 150 lbs / waist 36" (12, 2)

23 Weeks - 151 lbs / waist 35.5" (13, 1)

24 Weeks - 154 lbs / waist 37.5" (16, 3)

25 Weeks - 156 lbs / waist 37.5" (18, 2)

26 Weeks - 158 lbs / waist 38" (20, 2)

27 Weeks - 160 lbs / waist 38.5" (22, 2)

28 Weeks - 164 lbs / waist 39" (26, 4)

29 Weeks - 166 lbs / waist 39" (28, 2)

30 Weeks - 164 lbs / waist 39" (26, -2)

31 Weeks - 167 lbs / waist 39" (29, 3)

32 Weeks - 165 lbs / waist 39.5" (27, -2)

33 Weeks - 167 lbs / waist 40" (29, 2)

34 Weeks - 171 lbs / waist 40.5" (33, 4)

35 Weeks - 171 lbs / waist 40" (33, 0)

36 Weeks - 171 lbs / waist 40" (33, 0)

37 Weeks - 173 lbs / waist 40.5" (35, 2)

38 Weeks - 174 lbs / waist 41" (36, 1)

39 Weeks - 173 lbs / waist 40.5" (35, 0)

40 Weeks - 175 lbs / waist 41" ( 37, 2)

7-22-2009 ~ Ladies and Gentlemen we Have a Go!

Ok. So trying this for the THIRD time. Please be patient with my attitude. I had already written this TWICE before and it somehow got erased so I was VERY irritated.

I’d like to start with TODAY WAS AMAZING! Literally the best day of this pregnancy. I had an appointment at 9:30am to be a volunteer at West Coast Ultrasound Institute. I wasn’t sure what they would be viewing because one girl on here told me the school she was going to wouldn’t do one until she was 18 weeks. So as far as I knew they might do an ultrasound on my arm! ;) I had no expectations going in to the appointment. Yes I would love to see my baby, but I prepared myself to not be sad if they said no.

My little sister came with me in case I got bad news. She sat in the lobby as they called me into the exam room. I was a little shocked because there was an instructor and about 5 students. They told me to lay on the table and started the exam. They didn’t even tell me they were doing my baby! I was so happy. So a little side story (if you read my previous blogs you know already)….

My first OB’s first measurements would have put me at 10w6ds today. His second measurements would have put me at 10w4d today. My second (and current) OB would have said I was 10w1d today. So yes…I have the incredible shrinking baby! Well the first student to work on me measured me at 11w4d!! Whoa! The instructor told him how to do it, so it’s not like he messed up or anything. I’m really happy! This means I will be out of the first trimester even faster! J I’ll be staying with my ladies though because I love them. So according to me I’m 11 weeks tomorrow.

So! During the ultrasound the baby was jumping all over the place! It was so darn cute. I couldn’t believe how much it was twisting and jumping! The instructor said I had a very active baby and they were having a hard time getting the heartbeat because he/she wouldn’t hold still lol. When it finally did the heartbeat was 150 bpm. The scan of the heartbeat looked really different though. I don’t know if it’s something new that they’re trying or what. When he first took the measurement he did it too close and it said 254! Lol. The instructor laughed. It was cute.

They gave me 3 pictures and you can see the scrawny little legs in one pic and FINGERS in the other! I’m so in love. I feel like I can relax now. I am so excited for this baby to arrive. Whether it be Feb 6 or Feb 16^th! I’ll just say I’m going to be a February Momma.

7-23-2009 ~ 11 Weeks

To be honest, nothing has really changed from last week. BBs are a little more sore than last week which helps me remember that I am indeed pregnant because I don't have any other symptoms. Yesterday I had an amazing ultrasound (see previous blog). My measurements are the same. Haven't gained any weight or inches. So ya...kind of at a stand still. But that's ok. I'm sure I'll be starting to show soon! Can't wait :)

7-27-2009 ~ My Boss, Lora and Layton

First off....some of these icons are soooo weird. When would we ever use some of them? Lol. I have a lot of stories to tell. Hope you don't mind a long blog!

First story is about my boss. My boss is a total JERK! I'm a waitress and a family restaurant and I've worked there off and on since I was 17. Well the original owner (who was amazing) decided to retire and give the restaurant to his son. Well his son has NO idea what he's doing. We run out of stuff allllll the time. Business has dropped by at least half and the half the servers are on drugs. It's just gotten so bad. So onto my story. A lot of the customers are regulars and they have seen me grow up. They knew when I went to college and half of them gave me gifts! So my newest excitement is my pregnancy. Most of them are asking questions and seeing how I'm feeling. My mom also works there so they talk to her also. Well the owner saw me talking to a customer for more than 2 minutes and he literally YELLED at me to stop talking to customers and DO MY JOB! Are you serious? Isn't my job to talk to customers?? I only had one other table and they had just received their food so I knew they were fine. I was so upset. I take pride in what I do even if it's just waitressing. I always make sure my tables are happy to the best of my ability. Well that one other table left me a 12 dollar tip and said I gave amazing service and then the next table to come in requested me so my boss can suck it! So two days later one of the servers decided to tell my boss I was pregnant. I was so nervous that he would think everything I did was an excuse because of my pregnancy. Boy was I wrong! His attitude toward me has done a 180! He is being sooooo nice to me! I guess him and his wife lost their first baby too so now he's giving me special treatment! He let me put water in the fridge (which no one is allowed to do) because our water isn't filtered and then he told me I didn't have to sit in the kitchen during my break and let me sit in the lounge! I should have told him so much sooner. Dumb me!

Ok next story is Lora and Layton on youtube.com. I highly recommend their blog to anyone. I recently was browsing and love her! She's so bubbly and makes pregnancy seem like a blessing and not a chore. Just put in the search bar: loraandlayton and you can click on "view all" of their videos in their profile. She did weekly updates in her 3rd trimester and the labor/delivery and now weekly updates for her son. It's great. Can't get enough! Just thought I'd share. :)

**STICKY BABY DUST TO ALL!!**

7-30-2009 ~ 12 Weeks

Nothing has really changed from last week. I've actually lost a pound, but I'm definitely a different shape. My tummy is starting to feel different to the touch so that's exciting. I'm so anxious for my appt on the 11th! I had some spotting this morning for the millionth time. I think this will be happening through my whole pregnancy! My BBs are still sore so I'm crossing my fingers that everything is still fine.

Some other news: My younger sister is going to come move in with my husband and I so she can focus on school. She's starting hanging out with some bad kids and her school is suffering for it. She should be starting 12th grade, but she's only half way through 10th and half way through 11th. I know it's confusing. She's homeschooled so it's just the classes she has been taking. I'm hoping to at least get her caught up if not ahead. She's been really trying the last couple days so that's good. I'm hoping living with me will get her butt in gear! My parents kind of hate the idea, but oh well. She's comin with me! They basically think I won't be able to do any better than they have. WATCH ME!

8-4-2009 ~ My Day Today

I have to start this post with a HUGE congrats to Nikki and Ready. I can't even explain my joy that you guys got your BFPs!! I haven't been on TTC After Loss in a while so I didn't read any "I might be...." posts so getting 2 blogs in the same day with such great news was amazing! I'm so happy for you girls!

Now onto my day. I decided that it was summer and I would drive down to San Diego and enjoy another day at the beach. It was such a nice day! The water was perfect. Cool enough to be refreshing, but not so cold that you cant even get in (like my last beach experience 3 weeks ago). Well my sunblock decided not to work so now I have a horrible sunburn and I'm a little miserable. Good thing my only pregnancy symptom is sore BBs or I might just have a melt down lol.

As always I have to tell you a funny. My DH is hilarious sometimes when it comes to this pregnancy. We were driving to go get some food and took our 12 lb chihuahua/weiner dog mix with us. Mind you when Lily was a puppy she was only 5 lbs and would ride on my lap a lot. Now that she's 12 lbs it's pretty uncomfortable. So here's our conversation...

DH: Lily! Go see mommy! (Lily jumps into my lap)

Me: Blah! She's so heavy. I can't wait until she can't fit in my lap anymore.

DH: She's full grown honey. She fits.

Me: Ya but IM not.

So ya. We had a good laugh over that one.

**SUPER STICKY BABY DUST TO NIKKI AND READY!!!!**

8-6-09 ~ 13 Weeks

I DONT FEEL PREGNANT! It's driving me nuts. I feel completely normal. :( My BBs are still slightly sore, but that's about it. I hardly ever get up in the middle of the night to pee anymore. Maybe like every other night and only once. I've lost 4 lbs and my waist is skinnier. I can't wait until the 11th. I'll be pretty far along and I should be showing any week now. My OBs and the ultrasound school all have a different opinion of how far along I am right now. I'm keeping my first OBs info and saying I'm 13 weeks today, but here are the stats:

Dr.Lineback - 12w2d

Dr. Kim - 13w

WCUI - 13w5d

So who knows how far I actually am, but I hope baby is ok. In the mornings I THINK I can feel my uterus, but I'm not totally sure. My stomach seems to be a lot harder in the morning. Usually because I have to pee so I'm not sure if I'm feeling my bladder lol. Or if the bladder pushes the uterus up maybe? Not sure.

HURRY AUGUST 11th!! COME SOONER!

**Sticky Baby Dust to all the new BFP and those TTC**

8-7-2009 ~ Angelsounds Fetal Doppler

So after I posted my blog about being worried because I lost I symptoms, I got something special in the mail! I finally received my AngelSounds Fetal Doppler! I couldn't wait to try it out :) I put some aloe vera gel on my belly and gently put the doppler on and heard the heartbeat right away! It was so neat! I got up to go show my little sister (she was in the bath) and I couldn't find it! Five minutes later my mom gets home from work so I try to find it to show her and I have no problem (sister is asleep by this point). So my mom and I enjoy the sounds of baby and time the heartbeat to be about 140. We were laughing too much so not sure if that's accurate or not. I left to go to work and when I got home my sister was still asleep so my mom and I found baby again and listened. It was kicking us! Every once in a while we'd hear this loud THUD! and we'd have to take the headphones off. My mom screamed and I couldn't stop laughing so we lost the baby for a little bit.

Then this morning my sister was finally awake so I went to show her and all I could find was the placenta lol. By the way the placenta is loud! But that was still kinda cool to hear. Nice to know my baby is getting his/her nutrients :) I'll probably try again before I go to work. It makes work more enjoyable when I know my baby is alive and well. Then I'm going to try and not use it so much because I have no idea if it's harmful for baby at all.

Enjoying the heartbeats....

-Heather

8-12-2009 ~ Diagnostics Ultrasound

I have been having this persistant pain on my left side. I told my OB and she scheduled me for an ultrasound today. Well the ultrasound revealed that I have an ovarian cyst that will probably rupture in the next week or so. Blah! Not looking forward to that.

In other news she said baby is measuring 14w3d so apparently I really am further along than they thought before. She's not supposed to say/show me anything but during the u/s she kind of smiled and I said, "What?" and she said "You have a little thumb sucker already!" She turned the screen a little bit and I could see it. It was too cute! It's head looked HUGE compared to the last time I saw it! My baby is growing up a storm. And of course it was wiggling all over the screen. Great little kid. I love him/her already. Can't wait until February!

8-13-2009 ~ 14 Weeks

Fourteen weeks today! Although I've now been told twice that I'm actually 14w5d I'm sticking with the happy medium. My current OB think I'm only 13w2d, but oh well.

I'm feeling great! BBs still hurt, but all other symptoms are gone. I think I MIGHT be starting to get a real baby bump and not just bloat, but I'm not sure. A couple people have requested belly pics ;) but I dont have my camera with me. I'll take some when I get back home. Am I allowed to take them sucking in a little? Cuz if I relax I just look HUGE, but I think that's just my extra pudge. I've gained 3 lbs back from losing it the other week so that's good.

I saw my baby yesterday and he/she was doing great. Sucking its thumb. Too cute! And wiggling all over the place of course. I've been listening to my baby with my doppler and it moves so much. It's going to be crazy when I can actually feel it. I probably won't be able to sleep lol.

Well STICKY BABY DUST AND LABOR DUST!

8-18-2009 ~ Kung Fu Fighting

Last night I officially felt the baby move for the first time. I had been feeling it all day, but I wasn't sure if it was Bubs or not. Well while I was in a certain position I felt a full on ROLL. It was awesome! Now today I've been feeling it every once in a while. I'm so happy.

Out of curiosity I got my doppler out (haven't used it in a few days) and of course couldn't find the heartbeat, but I didn't need to! Bubs would NOT hold still! It was crazy! I literally listened to baby beat the crap out of my uterus for like 10 minutes until he/she did some sort of crazy combo move that actually hurt my ears. Which made me laugh and I decided I could go to sleep. I can't believe how much baby is moving in there right now! You would think they would move more when they are born if they're this crazy right now. I'm a little bit nervous for the kicks and punches. My baby is literally going to beat me up! It's so exciting though. I'm more than happy to have felt my little one.

8-20-2009 ~ 15 Weeks

I can't sleep so I figured I might as well update now. I'm thinking maybe I should change my due date to what the ultrasound tech said (Feb 6th) because I'm HUGE for just barely 15 weeks lol. My mom saw me for the first time in a week and she said "Woah! You have your baby bump!" I'm assuming strangers will start asking soon.

I haven't gained any weight, but I've started to feel baby and my goodness! Once you are certain of what it feels like, it never stops moving! It has been amazing to me to feel it. I'm so sad that I never got this far with my first pregnancy. It's a blessing to feel my little one move.

I find out the gender in just 3 days! So be looking for a blog titled "It's a...." you all know what's coming! :) I'll honestly be happy with either gender. I want both for different reasons so either one will be great. I just can't wait to know who's punching me! Well making me feel like muscle twitches at the moment, but who WILL be punching me. Michael or Arilyn?

I've been somewhat hormonal lately. You can ask my husband or the ladies in my week, but I think it's because I'm just an honest person and I don't put up with people's crap. In my husband's case I'm so tired of his video games! I told him tonight that I'm not raising our child by myself while he plays World of Warcraft. If that's the case I want a divorce. I know....a little dramatic, but there's no point in me staying with him if I can't spend ANY time with him and can just sit and watch him raid. It's horrendous.

As far as my rant earlier today, I apologize to those ladies that WERENT involved. I could have private messaged this person, but I was just so darn sick of her that I HAD to say something. I've said my peace and now I'll just ignore her, but I'm glad that I said something. I'm also pleasantly surprised with the overwhelming supportive response! I'm quite shocked to be honest. I thought most people would be like "Wow...that was a little much." or something along those lines. Please know that I'm not normally that rude or abrasive. I had tried so many times in subtle ways to support her and no matter what anyone said it was like she never even read our supportive comments to her unless they were 10 minutes after she wrote her concerns. We had previous beef, but that's irrelevant. I'm done with that and moving on! :)

I have a question for those of you that can feel the early movement of baby. The movement before punches and kicks. Does it ever hurt? I'm finding that I've been having some pains when the baby is moving. I'm going to do some research tomorrow to see if it has anything to do with my D&C right before getting pregnant, but was curious if anyone else had this experience. I plan on calling my OB to see if it might be anything serious with maybe the placenta or something. Yes I'm the person that makes up situations just in case. Lol.

Well sticky baby to all and labor dust to those about to pop!

8-23-2009 ~ It’s a …..

BOY!

My husband and I are so happy. We really wanted a boy first. So much for mother's intuition though. I thought it was a girl from the very beginning! Only in this past week have I thought it might be a boy because he was measuring so big every time I went to an ultrasound. Well we go the 3D ultrasound. It was neat, but he wouldn't roll over and show his little face! So we just got pictures of his skinny little back. But that's ok. I still love it! A lot of my family was there and we were all giving our vote on what it would be. My sisters are somewhat mad because they each wanted to have the first boy (my mom had 4 girls and always wanted a boy). So now not only am I having the first grandchild, but also the first boy.

I just about died laughing when my dad (who HATES my husband) went up to him, shook his hand and said, "Congratulations. You did what I never could. It takes a man to make a man" WHAT?!?!? MY dad said this to my HUSBAND?!? Lol. My dad has said my husband is a SISSY and lots of other mean and girlie names. I love it! Hopefully this will make them get along lol.

So ya...ITS A BOY! As my kindergarteners would says..."Fished my wish..I get to go again!" ;)

8-27-2009 ~ 16 Weeks

**Belly Pics to come Soon! Promise :) I found my camera but I look like poop today**

I have now been feeling my little BOY a lot more. It's fabulous. It feels weird some times, but I can't get enough. I FINALLY gained some weight! I now weigh 140 so hopefully I'll gain a couple more by the 8th (my next appt) and my OB won't kill me :)

My mom has been going a little nuts. She bought him a Dodgers outfit from Costco, but it's an 18 month outfit so I just kind of laughed. I suppose I can keep it for another 2 years! It's cute though. My DH loves it. It still hasn't quite settled in that I get my little boy. I've been wanting a boy first since I was little, but the fact that I'm actually GETTING it is awesome. I hope they weren't wrong lol.

Other than severe headaches almost every day I've been feeling great. I'm tired a lot too, but that could be from working and taking care of my little sister's puppy (who I may just murder). I've experienced some annoying pregnancy side effects (bowel movements = almost none) but thankfully it's not to the point of pain. Just only happens every 3 days or so. Trying to drink lots of water and take benefiber. Seems to help a little. I'm really starting to round out! I love it! My mom says I still don't look pregnant, but to me I do. Especially since NONE of my regular clothes fit. It makes me realize how little maternity clothes I own so far. I better get to the thrift store or something. Even my pjs are too tight. But it's ok! I'm getting my bump :) I guess I just look fat to other people, but since I can feel that it's hard I'm happy.

STICKY BABY DUST! AND LABOR DUST TOO :)

8-29-2009 ~ Mandatory Evac

Just found out my friends and family are being evacuated from La Crescenta, La Canada and Big Tujunga Canyon because of the wild fires in California. I've been dealing with the smoke, but now we're housing people. They can't control the fire so now they are just letting it burn and trying to protect the house. Only 5 houses have burned so far, but over 200,000 acres have burned. This is so crazy! My dad is refusing to leave his house. He has packed up the cars with the important stuff, but he says we're not leaving until the fire is at our back door, which it essentially CAN get that close. We live RIGHT on the Los Angeles National Forest. Open our back gate and walk 500 feet and you're on the main fire road though, so that's good. Please keep us in your thoughts. So far everyone is good and safe and no property damage....

9-3-2009 ~ 17 Weeks

Before I get into other stuff.....I just felt a real kick! I had just gotten out of the shower and layed down on my bed with my hand on my tummy and felt 3 thumps! It's so exciting! I honestly wasn't expecting to feel it from the outside at all until like 24 weeks so I'm just in awe. I love it! I'm sure it was a fluke and it won't be frequent, but it was awesome. :)

Ok so Im 17 weeks now according to my LMP. Measuring ahead as always. Which is ok with me. The sooner my healthy son gets here the better. A few people have asked his name and I feel dumb for not even writing it last time. His name will be John Michael. We will call him Michael. He is named after our fathers. My husband is John Scott, his dad John Alfred, grandfather John Alfred, so I knew it had to be John Something. We chose Michael after my dad.

So for the past week I've been having REALLY bad back aches. It makes it so I can't sleep. I've also been getting headaches for a few weeks now, but other than that I'm doing great. Still haven't put on a whole lot of weight, but you wouldn't know it by the size of my belly! I now weigh 139 (138 pre pregnancy). I got up to 140 at one point, but for some reason I can't keep the lbs on. I'm not getting sick or anything so we'll see what my OB says on the 11th. I eat like a pig so it can't be that.

Ahhh I'm so distracted now that I've felt him! I just wanna feel it more lol. His stretching was making me feel sick, but I'm all for the kicks! At least until they're strong ones lol. The little thumps were awesome, but I only felt 3 so now I want more :)

STICKY BABY DUST TO ALL and I hope everyone is enjoying their pregnancies so far :)