28-5-2008 - My DOCTOR SUCKS

My mood while writing this blog: UPSET

March 25th 2008- Follow-up Dr. Appointment-

I went to my OB today and she said there is nothing that can be done. She wishes she could give me a little pill that makes it go away. She promised me an ultrasound next Wednesday. To see if the bleed has grown or has clotted. I pray that God puts his hand in it...I am just wanting this to happen and so is my husband.

March 27th 2008- To Rest or not to Rest (The Bedrest Saga) -

Well, I sit here in my bed after placing myself on bedrest. I despise it, but I got to listen to myself for once.

Of course my OB came in on my follow-up visit to the E.R. and sat on the counter and Hmm'd and Ha'd about some magic pill that he wish she could give me to make the hemmorhaging stop or the cramping go away. Yadda Yadda Yadda. The thing that upsets me is that she was only going by the report I gave her verbally about what I was told in E.R.She didn't ask for images or records or confirm what I was told she just said well There is nothing we can do it is a waiting game. Sometimes it comes out good sometimes it comes out bad.

So I went back to the typed up E.R. discharge notes when I got home and read. "Question Small Subchorionic hemmorhage." QUESTION? Shouldn't I be the one with the questions? I laughed and said was the question for me? I tell you...the medical profession can be a joke and the sad part is I have been a part of it for over 9 years.

I figure I have to be more agressive. Over the years these doctors have seen multiple miscarriages as they have seen multiple births and a lot of information is just not given. I am not the person who wants to see multiple miscarriages witthout explanation. So I am taking matters into my own nursing hands and geting smart about the situation. I want to be able to help myself as much as possible and help others as well.

So here it goes, with the diagnosis of a small subchorionic hematoma, I didn't even think to walk out of the E.R. with pictures in hand. Nor did I even get to look at the screen my little bean was on. It seemed like I was just to wait for the answer on that piece of paper. It was a big secret and it took 6 hours for me to get that piece of paper. I got it and I accepted it, but now tommorow I am going to the hospital and requesting all of my records and medical images. I have a right to it and I have paid for it, so I want it.

I have an ultrasound set for Wednesday. I want those images too!! I am going to compare the two and see what is really the deal. Yes I know I have a bleed, I just don't have answers as to where it is compared to the baby, how big it is or how small it is, how much of the placenta has it affected. Nor do I have a true answer as to why I have been cramping for the last 3 weeks.

So I am putting my foot down and as a patient I have a right to know more than they are allowing me to know and as a nurse I am smart enough and have the resources to get better answers.

It is silly that the doctor sends me for an ultrasound for next week to see if the bleed is getting bigger, but doesn't have the images from ER to compare it to. Sensless if you ask me. Just retarted. I was not even asked what hospital I went to being that this a city with at least 15 hospitals nor was there attempt to get the records. She just heard what I said and said what she said and that was the end of that.

So with that said. I got myself on bedrest. I am taking it easy. I am doing my best not to irritate my body to have the placenta tear off. The cramping is ongoing and that bothers me, but I am putting my trust in GOD. I know what I need to do and I just have to get more realistic and aggressive about me. As my mother has told me, "No one will take better care of you, than you." And that's real.

April 3, 2003- Come On BabY Bean Stick! BaBy Stick! -

So today was follw up U/S after an Easter Sunday E.R visit. I was in Er due to cramping and bleeding. U/S showed baby a 6wk 5 days and HB 170. Questionable Subchorionic Hemmorhage. I put myself on bedrest for 10 dyas until todays U/S. See photos...Our little bean was so sweet. HB 170s measuring now at 8 weeks 6 days. He even moved for daddy. This was all a good thing, esp since my husband has not truly taken on the raeality of my pregnancy symptoms (moodiness, irritability, crying, nausea, dizziness, headaches) nor the true seriousness of hemmorhaging. Daddy was happy, he was mesmorized by the U/S and held tight to babys pics. At the top of that emotional rollercoaster.

Everything was great. We celebrated by going to eat. I came home and took a nap...I was tired for the morning. I even thought I would go into work tommorow. Well I got up used the restroom. Made something to eat. Then I felt something dribble. In the bathroom and there it was again...Blood. Brown (old) but nonetheless there as well as cramping that has not let up since March 8th. Back down at the bottom of the emotional rollercoaster I went. DH was at church and I sent him a text and called and called but no answer. that was 7pm. He finally got out of church and called me after 9:30p. I told him I am tird of the emotional rollercoaster.

I want this bean to stick, but I don't know why my body is acting so UGLY right now. The uterus, the sac need to just get along, cause baby is happy where he is. He was just active today and I know he wants to survive.

I just again have to put my faith in God, He knows our destiny. I am speaking life to what could seem like a dead situation. I believe he is going to make out if it his purpose. In the meantime, I am going emotionally insane.