08-1-2009 - A lot of Feelings

My mood while writing this blog: Emotional

Okay, I know the icon doesn't really match my mood, but I am listening to music and she's cute :-)

I am sooo emotional lately. And I mean an array of emotions. What's crazy is that all of them make me cry. Its not like I am crying all of the time, but it comes from almost nowhere! I remember this from last time, but forgot about the intensity.

EXCITED: My new nephew, Samuel Jacob, was born yesterday. He weighed the same as my daughter at 7lbs, 15 oz. and my sister-in-law ended up having a c-section just like I did, and will again. Sam and the new baby will be around 6 months apart, so thats also super exciting. And of course, I am excited for mine to come in July. I am relieved for my sister-in-law because she was sooo ready to go even though she was due on the 15th.

ANNOYED/PISSED: I have been getting all these unsolicited opinions lately. A woman at work told me out of the blue that she "was thinking about our boy name (Xavier) and she dosen't think she likes it at all". I told her good thing its not her baby. Then people keep commenting on how much I am showing. "I think they have your due date wrong, have you been overeating, are you bloated, etc." This makes me very mad. I have also noticed that everyone parks in the "expectant mother parking spots" that you see at Babies-R-Us, etc. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I had an altercation with a man about this (he was alone) and a cop ended up asking us what the problem was and laughed in my face. He told me that if he could write tickets for "courtesy violations" he would give me the whole book. Yah he was a jerk. Apparently its an honor system thing. I am seriously above average nice to everyone I encounter when I am not pregnant, but I have no patience for strangers when I am pregnant and tend to get a little "mouthy" sometimes if something happens. I think its similar to a bird protecting her nest.

JEALOUS: Nobody really talks about this element, but I will be the first to admit that I am a bit jealous of non-pregnant girls right now. I am even jealous of my past self when I look at pictures. Don't get me wrong, we planned this and I am so excited to be having another baby and I also know that my past and future self will look about the same. Its just really hard for me to feel pretty right now and I am eating like a cow. I also miss having a cigarette and a glass of wine and wearing my adorable clothes. I know I will be back to my old self in less than a year. Another plus is that this jealous element is not as bad as it was last time, when I was a shocked, single mother with an expanding waistline.

APPRECIATIVE: I am so thankful for the people around me, especially my husband, daughter, and the grandparents. I wonder what people do without the support that we have. I also am very greatful to have found this website and feel a close connection with all pregnant women right now, especially the girls on here. I seriously love chatting with all of you!

Now that I read the jealous part, it sounds really stupid and I am less jealous. That's wonderful. Which makes me HAPPY.. lol

There are more but this is getting long. I like to write fiction in my spare time, so I am a bit wordy sometimes.

Take care, everyone! I just felt like sharing today. I keep thinking of that hilarious part on "Mean Girls" where the girl says "I just have a lot of feelings" after they say "You don't even go to this school!" LOL (random I know, but if you are a fan of the movie I bet you are laughing ..)