01-7-2009 - Sad and angry

My mood while writing this blog: Unhappy

Hi ladies, hope everyone is doing well.

As you all see the title of this blog is sad and angry, sad because of my health and angry that it took doctors so long to find the problem, but if though they think they know what is wrong with me they still haven't confirmed the cause, let me start at the beginnig.

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog about my hair falling out, well it has gotten worse much worse, other hairs still cover the bald spots but it wont be for long. I have gone to numerous doctors and specialists and through blood and urine tests, now recentlly I went to go see a dermatologist and now finally someone might have a answer for me. I don't have alopecia (which is basically pattern baldness and is something that is in your genes), they are still a bit unsure wheather it's my immune system they don't say that it isn't but they still think it's a possibility. Ok so here is the worst news ever the dermatologist took some blood and found something weird in it, now (I don't know the exact day yet) I have to go to hospital for a specific MRI scan (brain scan) because they think I might have a brain tumor according to the test there is a very very good chance that I have one, if I do have one and it's still small it can be treated with meds, but if it is past a sertain size they will have to do a brain opp. So now you know, I don't know what to say, I don't want to cry I am just so blank about this, I don't know what to do and actually avoid telling people about it, maybe I am just in denial that this could be happening. I don't feel like making a scene about it now not before they confirm that I do have one and if it is deadlly or not. I dont want to cause my family worry about this no one knows yet, so for now only you guys know. I'll update when I have the results.