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03-7-2008 - Sometimes I feel

My mood while writing this blog: totally worn out

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like I have no clue what the heck I am doing and I am the worst mom ever! I am so totally frustrated today. It has been a ruff week with Presley getting over his sickness then his shots. Our doctor visit went well, but when Dr. Garza asked how he was sleeping I told him it is 6 hours a night. He has slept 8 hours two times, but that is it. Dr. Garza said that a baby his size should be sleeping 8 hours and that I need to let him "CRY IT OUT"!!! Do any of ya'll know how difficult this is?? First off I feel like the worse mother in the world and I feel like I am abandoning him. I can not do this. Presley was eating every 3 hours during the day then sleeps for 6 hours at night. Well, for the last two nights he won't eat his 11pm bottle and sleeps till 2:30 am. So, we called the pedi and once again the same thing, "CRY IT OUT!! So, he wants Presley to be on a 4 hour feeding schedule which I am okay with, but I just feel like I have no idea what the hell I am doing. We had a nice little routine going and bam everything is chaos and mommy and Presley are crying. I am questioning all of my methods and have lost my mind. Colin has banned me from all baby books and internet, because he says it is only making it worse. Which is correct. It is just so hard. I want to do the best thing for Presley, but how do you know what the best thing is??

Any advice, support, prayers would be much appreciated right now.

Thanks for listening! Love you all!

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9 Comments on Sometimes I feel


StillinHisCare - Wednesday, 9 Jul
Hello Suz ~
Sorry I'm behind on all this! We have had a whirlwind week!! I'm just about exhausted, but hanging in there and so happy to be where I am: UNDER 6 WEEKS!!! Thank God for all His marvelous works.

Now, may I say something here even though I am a "johnny-come-lately" and you have probably put this to rest? :)

First of all, your anxieties and frustrations are NORMAL to EVERY honest mother and they will come off and on throughout mothering as your son grows. After already being at it for over 21 years, I know how HARD I lean on God; How continuously I seek His wisdom for .this. child -- HIS child! His child that He, in His perfect wisdom, entrusted to .me. and .my . husband to raise. The fact that you experience this deep angst is testimony to the fact that you LOVE this son with your WHOLE HUMAN HEART!!! So don't be DIScouraged by it, rather try to remember that you too will be trained by our Heavenly Father as you so imperfectly train this little one. I always say I never would have learned 1/2 the things I have learned without my children!

Second, I have a "hierarchy of Wisdom" in my life you could say. These are the Experts to whom I turn. The number one slot is actually taken by two: God and Husband. How blessed you are to have a husband who loves you enough to tell you 'no more'! :) His JOB is to care for you, to love you as Christ loves the church and to present you blameless and washed before God (HUGE JOB!!!!) So FEW men understand this, and even fewer accept it!!!! Now Colin has his job expanded with the nurturing of this little soul, this son. God will equip him to counsel and guide you both and you can trust him as he trusts God!! I would ALWAYS turn to 1) Scripture & 2) Husband first for wisdom!! Obviously, there is nothing noted in scripture about babies schedules, so now we know that it must not be the MOST important thing to know and implement, otherwise God would have told us!!!! :) Agreed? LOL! So, turn to Colin. Trust him. What does HE say? Does he say to get more counsel? From a parent or a professional? Or does he say to trust yourself? Or that he has an idea on how he thinks this should be handled? This is a very Biblical and very trustworthy way of nurturing children!

Most doctors have the skills to be wonderful advisors - but surely you know they are NOT God! And Presley is NOT their son! I am (as another member has noted) also a believer in "tough love". I believe that God IS VERY tough! But I also know Him to be full of mercy and compassion. And I know He doesn't handle me the same as He handles every other child of His! My particular (sometimes peculiar! :) needs are met very personally -- sometimes with chastisement, sometimes with tenderness -- and ALWAYS with empathy!!

Personally (this is merely personally!) I believe it is perfectly FINE (and even wonderful!!!) for Presley to be sleeping 6 hours straight at this age!!! My Ben was 8 months old before he did that! His needs were completely different (physically AND emotionally) than my eldest. They still are!!! No "professional" can REGULATE a human being!!!! I think the idea absurd and ignorant --- AND arrogant!!!! I would turn to them (ie doctors, "specialists", etc) only for REFERENCE and IF/when WE deemed his diagnosis and treatment options (which is what he has really done) to be good for our child, would we follow them! Otherwise, we would say, "thank you very much" kindly and be on our way.

Now I can't say (write) all this without making this very clear disclaimer: If it is a case of disobedience or rebellion to authority that the child is up and manipulating you, scripture DOES speak clearly about that! You MUST - to parent Biblically - follow the standards set forth for accurate, timely, loving discipline, therefore saving the child's soul. Remember, it is the HEART that Father God looks upon, and so must we. Motive. That is key. But I seriously doubt (I say laughingly) that that is what you are looking at at this age!!! :) (But again, beware! My children started active sinning at about 6-9 months! And that is so sad to see!!! :)

I guess I have gone on long enough!!! Can you tell I am passionate about this? And it hurts me and makes me MAD that you have been punishing yourself with misplaced guilt that you PAID to have put upon you!!! Grrrrrr.....

I'm praying for you Suzanne, and am confident that the Lord will guide you through this (He probably already has!!!)
Love to you dear sister and friend,
SueAnn



boystruckx2 - Friday, 4 Jul
He is on the exact same schedule as Sean. Sean does every 3 during the day sometimes 4 sometimes 2. At night he may go 6, but never 8 yet! I would stay with what you were doing. You have a happy and healthy baby, why risk that and doubt yourself! I see no good reason to change it. So how much did he weigh and how tall??

liz82 - Thursday, 3 Jul
i know how you feel i have been there befor long nights endless crying i use to only get 2 hours of sleep really for about 4 months . but i think that you are doing a great job i know its so hard to want to help your baby boy and you problaly feel helpless because nothing that you seem todo doesnt work . but i say do what you feel in your hear thats right becuase i think your a great mom ...

NumberFive - Thursday, 3 Jul
omg every baby is so different do whast males u and baby happy not dr, 6 hours 8 hours who cares, 6 hours is awesome why make him cry if he will eat and u can tend to him at 6 hours i bring my son into bed with me i know big no no but who cares, i feed him in my sleep sorta nd he sleeps till noon if i let him!
You sound like ur a great mom hjust for being so concerned,
babys are so different the books and the internet are just a general idea of what to expect and the adviage baby no 2 baby's are the same

MrsSmith - Thursday, 3 Jul
Well...

I am not an expert or even a Mommy just yet, but tough love is always the hardest!!! I used to be a nanny for triplets (about 11 years ago) and the advise from the doctors was the same. Let them cry it out. Of course you are going to doubt yourself, but if the pediatrician is recommending this, it can't be too bad for little Presley!

You are a great Mommy!!! Look at all the updates you post and how you tend to all of us! If you are that devoted here, I can only imagine how attentive you are towards Presley!

At times, I have been banned from books & the internet too, soooo... just hang in there! You are a fantastic Mom and a great person!!!

hisfirstmy4th - Thursday, 3 Jul
You definitely have to listen to what your instincts tell you!!! CRY IT OUT!!!! WTH????? THATS EASY FOR HIM TO SAY! LOL I'M SURE YOU ARE GONNA MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS IT TAKES SOME ADJUSTING BUT IT WILL ALL PAN OUT. WHAT WORKS FOR ONE MAY NOT WORK FOR OTHERS....TAKE CARE !

GinaMummy - Thursday, 3 Jul
Sorry clicked on wrong button .... You are doing a great job, keep going hun lots of love Gina xxxxxxxxxxxxx

GinaMummy - Thursday, 3 Jul
Just listen to what you think is right in your heart. Alexandra didnt sleep properly until she was 10 months old, Your baby is an individual and the doctors will always tell you what your baby SHOULD be doing, but Presley is not a textbook.
If you feel you want to follow the advice the doctor gives then that is fine, but if you dont want to then that is fine also. I never let Alexandra cry it out, and she goes to bed at 6.30 in the evening now and wakes at 6.30 am the next day so we got there in our own way in the end. No body knows your baby better than you do, so trust in yourself you are a great and wonderful loving mother.
I will give you a good example, my health visitor recently asked how long Alexandra naps for in the afternoon, I replied she doesnt have a nap, she said how very strange all toddlers her age normally sleep 12 hours at night and for 1 hour to 2 hours in the afternoon. I was so annoyed because It made me feel like I was doing something wrong the way she insinuated ALL toddlers her age have a nap. Then when I thought about it I realised that my daughter isnt ALL toddlers, she is Alexandra and she doesnt nap in the afternoon, it suits us and it works for us, we are happy and that is what is most important. I sleep for 8 hours a night but some other adults sleep for more, and some less. We are all different and this applies to babies too....
Babies and children are always changing routines and behaviour, and it is hard but you have to keep changing and adapting with them, only this week Alex has changed and me and Neil have had to discuss new ways of dealing with her so we have a harmonious house!!!!! it seems every time I get settled into a routine she changes!!!! lol
Dont let this advice make you question yourself too much, you and Colin are doing a great


weloveourbaby - Thursday, 3 Jul
As a first time mom, I find it to be a little overwelming at times.I think it's becuase I really don't know if I'm doing it right, but what I always do is remember that my child is God's Gift I'm blessed with. I also remember that I can't mess up such a wonderful gift. I was given this gift because God knew I could handle it. Now I definitely make mistakes and it's not going as "text book" as I would like, but I'm his mother (thank God) and I'm doing the best I could. Please don't feel like you're not doing a great job because I'm sure you are. Keep up the good work.