23-4-2008 - Am I or aren't I?

My mood while writing this blog: Anxious? Nervous?

Tomorrow (April 24) will be 30 days since my last period and I am usually like clockwork for 28-29 days. So, in theory I am 2 days late. Of course I have only had one period since my miscarriage, but I am working to the theory that I am 2 days late. So why am I anxious and nervous? Because of the symptoms I have been experiencing since Sunday.

I have had indigestion, fatigue, crazy, vivid dreams, thirsty all the time and nausea for the last couple of days. There is no sign of my AF, I thought I experienced those symptoms that AF is around the corner on Monday (won't go into details we are all women here right?). But two days later, nothing, just more of the pregnancy symptoms. As I am sure many of you have done too, I tested early - this morning, and there was a faint line for a positive. Am I kidding myself? Was it truly there? Will test again on Sunday, but I am anxious and nervous.

Questions keep drumming through my mind: Am I pregnant? What did I do wrong last time? What can I do this time to better my chances of carrying full term if I am indeed pregnant? And the really scary thing is at this point in time there are no answer to any of these questions.

99% of me screams in hope that I am, and 1% thinks I might need another month to sort out the 'baggage' the miscarriage left me with - but is it really possible to be pregnant given that I have only had one period since the miscarriage? And if I am, what can I do to further my chances? So here I write blog two on my site, full of questions and asking you all for some answers, or at least some thoughts - but the one question that really matters is Am I or Aren't I?