26-6-2008 - What is wrong with my body?!?!

My mood while writing this blog: scared/worried

I am so scared... I've been on my period for close to 2 months. I thought that I would let my body do what it needs to for a while and eventually it would stop... no such luck. Sock and I have been trying to conceive for a little over a year and I'm being to believe I'm not ovulating. I have a dr appointment tomorrow and I'm afraid they're going to tell me something I don't want to hear. I don't want to be put on BC because I'm ready to start my family but I also need the bleeding to stop. Some people have suggested that I might have PCOS (I don't think I have any of the symptoms), then there's anovulation, then there's the thought of an infection which scares me more than anything. I hope and pray that whatever is happening inside my body has not cause me to be infertile. So far we haven't succeeded and I know it's because of me. I can't even be intimate with Socrates... and it's killing me!!! He's being supportive throughout this but he doesn't really know what's going on in my mind... it's actually rather depressing. Why does it have to be so difficult for me? There are so many women out there who don't want to be pregnant and actually abort their children while I just can't get it right. I feel like I'm broken.. and I don't know if I can be fixed.