02-2-2009 - Strengthening My Marriage

My mood while writing this blog: In Love With My Hubby

Because a mom and dad who are in love, is what causes the children to feel happy, safe and loved , I thought I would start with the topic of marriage.

Sadly, my marriage hasn't always been strong, and we still have our downs, but what is important is that we realize it and we fix it! God is the strength that holds my marriage strong, when I stop seeking Him and start trying to "fix" things myself problems only get worse!

Communication is key to a happy marriage. If you expect him to read your mind then you will be waiting a long time! Trust me, he wishes he could read your mind, b/c it would keep him out of alot of trouble..lol! I sat down with my hubby and I asked him what things he would like me to do, and then I made a list. I do not always follow this list like I should, but I do my best and he appreciates that. It is important to not think that a marriage is 50/50, instead a marriage is 100/100! If you do not give 100%, do not expect to get it back.

One of the first books that I read on the subject of marriage was "A Woman After God's Own Heart". It focuses on time with God, and on being a godly wife, mother, home keeper and woman. Every engaged or married lady should do this study!

So here is a list of some of the things that I do to contribute to the happiness factor of my marriage. Some of the things I am still working on. He only asked for one of these things to be done when I sat with him and asked him what he would like me to do. The other things I just know that it makes him happy.

1.) Get up early (still working on this one)

2.) Have coffee ready for him when he gets home from work

3.) Keep a pitcher of sweet tea made

4.) Always have his uniforms clean and hanging up

5.) Cook our meals (only eating out on occasion)

6.) Friday night is date night (make a dessert with the meal, watch a movie w/ him)

7.) Homeschool our children

8.) Write him love notes that he finds when he is working

9.) Pack his lunch (do not have to do this very often anymore, he comes home)

10.) Meet him at the door, w/ hugs and kisses, when he gets home

11.) SMILE, he loves when I smile

12.) Laugh, he loves to hear me laugh

13.) Do a quick pick up around the house before he gets home from work

14.) Ask him before spending money on something that is not a need

15.) Not staying in my PJ's all day (I feel better when I get dressed, so this is mostly for me)

16.) Have the kids in bed by 8 pm (still working on this one)

17.) Love on him (hold his hand, kiss his neck, massage his shoulders, take a shower together, etc.) Show him he is still important

18.) Never share our problems with others, always work them out together

19.) Always speak well of him when talking to others, otherwise do not talk about him

20.) Tell him how much he means to me

Things that I notice he does for our marriage:

1.) He works so I can stay home with our children

2.) Lets me sleep late when he is home, and makes breakfast and watches the children

3.) Goes shopping for me

4.) Goes shopping with me

5.) Holds the baby when she is fussy, so I can finish my work

6.) Puts Elliana to sleep for me, and refills her sippy cup if she wakes up at night

7.) Puts the garbage out

8.) Pays the bills

9.) Fixes and brings me cups of coffee (He makes good coffee :o) )

10.) Helps me pick up after meals

This is most certainly not all that he does for me, but after I started listing, I realized that I could never list all the things that he does for me. I am truely blessed to have him! And I'm sure that there are more things that I do that he loves, and I just do not realize that he notices and appreciates it.

The number one thing that God has shown me is that I have a choice. I can either be happy and choose to do things that make Joseph happy, or I can be rebellious and make everyone miserable. I still sometimes choose the later of the two, but I promise it never solves anything.

So, want a happy marriage?? Then get up and go talk to your hubby and make that list! An important point that I need to make is, never compare your hubby to others, not only is it wrong, it is not fair. If there is something that you would like to change in your hubby, then talk with him, be completely honest (without raising voices), and then pray about it!

God Bless!