04-9-2008 - Poor guy...

My mood while writing this blog: Trying to understand

So last night my boyfriend justin and i got into the biggest arguement over the littlest thing and didnt speak to each other till this afternoon!!! Anyways i couldnt figure out why he was overreacting so much, I had a million things going through my head,maybe he is cheating on me, maybe he doesnt want to move out with me,what is he hiding from me Ect ect ect... Finally i was like forget it and went to bed, eventhough whenever we have a fight i can NEVER get to sleep I just layed there thinking away about what could be his problem,even got out of bed to wake him up (he slept on the couch) and argue with him so more... Finally this morning i sucked up my pride and texted him first, asked him to tell me what is going on and why he over reacted about such a stupid thing... I got no response... making me more upset i send another text saying "stop F*&#king ignoring me !!! and finally he wrote back, we talked and finally FINALLY he told me what his problem is, he said that he is scared of being a bad dad, hes scared of this big change were going to go through, scared of not being able to support all of us and just scared of everything . I was shocked, justins seemed so *calm* about this whole thing up until now... I dont really know how to handle this kinda situation, I told him he is going to be a great dad and i am going to help out with everything as well so he doesnt need to worry....(not to reasurring i know) But i thought i was the only one feeling any kind of emotion towards this pregnancy and all this change but suprisingly he is too. How do i help him through this?? Has anyone else been through something like this with there boyfriend/ husbands?? I try to do all i can to make his life as easy as possible by taking care of all the bills (cause he sure wouldnt remember to send money to everyone) and i make sure the house is kept nice and decent, dinner is made and he has everything he needs:clean clothes, lunch made for work, ect ect.. And i deal with trying to not be a nagging biatch to him by keeping everything to my self so i dont seem like the crazy pregnant girl friend, i mean i have been way better then i thought i ever would be being pregnant. Sure i can understand how he is worried about some things and its normal to be scared about the obivious but i dont know what to tell him to let him know that it really is going to be ok. I love him to death and after last night i can tell why he has these "mood swings:" with me and i feel stupid for not noticing it earlier. I donno i just thought maybe some of you have experianced the same things and can share with me how they are dealing or how they delt with this, i want to comfort him like he does with me..