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09-1-2009 - Anxiety

My mood while writing this blog: tired

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Well, anxiety has become an issue for me. I started having panic attacks out of the blue since the beginning of the new year, with disturbed sleep and physiological symptoms that landed me in the ER twice this past week. I've suffered from anxiety disorder in the past, and it looks like it has reared it's ugly head again. It just hasn't been treated properly - only when symptoms appear - where it should be treated long term. I got off paxil to get pregnant, and now I am advised to continue taking an SSRI, so my doctor put me on Zoloft, which is safer than paxil in pregnancy. All of this has been very worrisome for me since I never had these problems in my previous pregnancy, and I have a beautiful healthy baby boy. I am so worried that I am creating health risks to my baby, even though the doctors assure me it is okay. I just wish this wasn't happening and have started cognitive therapy to help with my thinking and self-talk. During this difficult week I've just learned my husband will be traveling to the middle east for a class trip for six weeks, from the end of next month through April. My sister has just arrived to help out and is staying here long term, which brings a lot of relief. I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately and hope this gets better real soon so I can get some normalcy back to my life and start enjoying my pregnancy again.

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