15-9-2008 - It's just emotion that's taking me over...

My mood while writing this blog: variable

Ahh pregnancy. The time in a young girl's life when her thoughts and emotions turn to........

*COMPLETE TURMOIL*

The last couple of days I have been so...I don't even know how to describe it. Everything makes me cry. But I"m not sad! It's like crying has become my default response to everything!

Yesterday was our 1 year wedding anniversary (yay!). My husband took me out to breakfast and there were two sets of newborn twins in the restaurant...I had to excuse myself and run to the bathroom because the sight of those babies in their matching car seats just pushed me over the edge. Then we went out to the beach to go fly kites (I'd never done that before! It was wild!) and my husband started talking to my belly and telling the babies that when they were older we would take them back here and all fly kites as a family. Cut to me SOBBING and my husband looking totally bewildered. Poor husband. THEN! He cooked me a wonderful dinner and it was all so lovely that tears just started rolling down my face. My husband just gave me a big hug and let me cry until I was done. And that's just one day.

Commercials make me cry. TV shows. The news. The contestants who get cut from Project Runway make me cry. Disney movies. Greeting Cards. Kids playing on a playground. You name it, it will probably make me cry.

Plus! Okay, this is going to seem weird but I think I just fully grasped the idea that I am carrying two babies. When we found out we were having twins I was so calm, it was no big deal (everyone else was freaking out). People have been telling me what a wonderful, amazing thing it is that I'm carrying twins and I've always agreed, always felt blessed, but lately it's like all of a sudden there is this awareness that wasn't there before... (and of course that awareness makes me cry! LOL!)

Okay enough of my ranting. Here is my conclusion: Pregnancy=good. Turbulent emotional state=unsettling. Being pregnant with twins=truly amazing. :)

**29 week appt update**

My daughter decided that maybe she wasn't ready to push her way out, so she is now laying across the bottom of my uterus once again, and my son in laying next to her (and kicking her....they are always kicking each other). I was so relieved when I saw that she wasn't pushing against my cervix! The doctor is happy with how we are doing. He says that my fluid level is still good, the babies' heart rates are good, my BP is still good. We have another Ultrasound this Friday to check on growth and development, so I should see how big my babies have gotten in the last month (yay!).

This morning I feel SO much pressure in my abdomen. I feel like my babies are stretching and pushing at the walls of my uterus. Ohhhh weird. I had to lay down for a while. I wish I had an ultrasound machine just so I could watch them and figure out what they do in there all day!