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18-12-2008 - humbug x 10000/ rant..

My mood while writing this blog: argg

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Wow.. im feeling pretty crappy these days.

i've grown out of alot of my friends.. so i have next to none. ( most of them are still at clubs doing drugs or they've become too full of themselves.. I'm a small town girl they all live in the city.. different agendas)
The few i still have.. about 1/2 of them are driving me up the wall even though they live 10 000 miles away.
Like one of them got offered a placement in India.. he asked for advice.. and when i tried to give it to him.. he told me he couldn't talk he was already in tears over the matter and fidgity.. Meanwhile he's been talking to people all day who've never been to INDIA! (I've been there).. He's 25 with no g/f no nothing holding him down never left north america. WHY he is in tears i dunno it's simple.. Go or don't!.. bascially i wanted to feel useful he didn't let me and on top of that he was being a big bloody baby.. so made me mad!.

Now that i'm done hating all my friends... of course i'm feeling pretty lonely,. and the prospect of leaving China soon is making that worst cause i wont have my hubby anymore but my parents whom i love but when i live with well it's more then enough of them.. ya know?

Then there's my pregnant sister.. she's due in Feb. I was talking to her the other day.. MAn did she made me Mad. I was asking her all about her pregnancy ( doesn't ask me anything about mine but thats her) trying to be nice to her.. Then i asked her if there is anything she wanted me to bring back from china.. turned on my web cam and showed her a few thing i had gotten she might like.. Well she insulted everything i got. Then proceeded to ask me what was wron gwith me.. i asked her what she meant.. SHE TOLD ME MY FACE WAS SCARING HER!.. i told her maybe it was the light in here caus eit's not good during the day.. still taking her insult mild.. and tells me.. "SURE" can you believe that!!.. ARGGG..

Maybe i'm over sensitive.. ok fine.. over sensitive or not.. the only person i can handle talking to is my mom.. however i can't talk to her about anything that is bothering me.. cause she thinks i'm over reacting.. blah bah.

i just want to scream at the top of my lungs.
and cry at the same time...
DAMN HORMONES>. ir maybe it's just me..

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