Chocolate Mami's I-am-pregnantblog

Chocolate Mami
	Age: 25 Country: Province/region: South City: Partner: Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: Financial Analyst
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 774 days ago. Member since: 1179 days
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13-3-2009 - Depression is a MF

My mood while writing this blog:
Depressed

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one...but right now I feel So dayum depressed. I feel like life just isn't right.

It hit me yesterday evening and I just didn't feel like doing anything but sleep...I barely ate...I guess my situation is getting to me again with my baby father. I've known him for 6 years but yet I feel like I got preggo by a "one night stander" ...yeah sure he's been calling more...he actually came to my appointment to see baby.(wow) I just feel so incomplete...no love at all...I know my child's love is the greatest but he's not here yet....I'm use to having a man...back in the day I may of had 2 (pimpin ain't easy :-P) ...but I'm use to being treated like a queen....someone to rub my back and pick up on the little things....Even though I am pretty independent....I can take care all of mine no probelems...Thanks to the man above...I have been blessed...

I just feel so miserable...I really want him there...but I know I can't make no one want to be with me...But it seem like we had one of the best friendships before I got preggo and that it really could have amounted to something...we have a lot in common and seem to balance each other out...(180 flip) Usually I wouldn't worry about some dude rather if we had history or not...U trip on me U can just go on type of thing...now with being preggo...I have dudes that want to be there for me, but its hard to try to build with someone else being that my feelings are so strong for baby daddy...and it really just don't seem right.I guess its crazy because I've never been in this situation...I usually can get what I want...(kinda selfish and spoiled sounding but thats how it was) ...Then my ex def done moved on...he use to check on me alot...now that's nothing...I guess I need a dog or something because I am feeling beyond lonely and its getting to me soooooooooo soooo sooo bad....I haven't been crying but I sure do feel like it....I hate feeling depressed...I'm a happy comical type person

Well I just felt like venting a little...

11 Comments on Depression is a MF

AllyCat62683 - Friday, 20 Mar
Wow you wrote this 2 days after my lovely depression blog. I know how you feel. I have been struggling with depression my whole life and during pregnancy it just intesifies. I have my son from my ex and I raised him on my own for 4 years and it was really hard and lonely. But you have that little one there for you and it can completely fill your heart and soul with love. Now I am with another guy who loves my son and we are having a baby together but we fight so much I often wonder if we are going to end up being together in the end. We are trying really hard but I often don't feel like he understands me or respects me and I feel so alone and yet I have all those people around me. It is hard having your body deal with all these extra hormones and emotions. Just be strong, like the independent woman you are and when you are feeling low just think about that precious little angel and how much joy he will bring into your life. Hope you feel better. I know it can be tough.

tasha1977 - Monday, 16 Mar
I know exactly how you feel. I was going through some shit (and still am) with my daughter's father. You do get lonely. I didn't want to do anything but come home and sleep. I worked during the day so that kept me busy. But it was rough. I just try to enjoy my baby and everything will be alright.

Chocolate Mami - Monday, 16 Mar
I appreciate everyones comment...truely do...and Thanks

mizzkeisha - Sunday, 15 Mar
I feel you girl. We all have those times when we feel like snapping a man's neck cause they won't act right. Hell, I feel like that right now, but I have grown to be so nonchalant that most of the times, I just ignore the hell out of them and they can't stand that and always end up chasing me. So just try and keep your head up. It will get better. You can feel free to vent anytime. Hopefully everything will work out.

shena777 - Saturday, 14 Mar
Keep your head up everything will work out. Your baby will be here soon and everything will seem better. I have been depressed lately too cause of bf/baby daddy drama but I just try to stay focused on the most important thing in the world right now, the baby growing inside of me. It's funny cause I used to be like the opposite of you, I was always stressing about a guy but now I feel like if it comes to the point that baby daddy wants to go then I gotta let him go. Having my daughter growing inside of me makes me stronger. Definitely more emotional, lol, but stronger!! If it makes you feel better keep venting!! Always here to listen.

BlackRussian - Friday, 13 Mar
Don't worry mama, you'll get through this and at the end of the day you'll have a beautiful baby :) We are all going thru our depressed days, some days are way worse then others, but just keep your head up mama, you know we all got your back. And soon as baby comes out its back to pimpin since been pimpin since been pimpin ;)

firsttimemom8122 - Friday, 13 Mar
OH GIRL!!! I know what you're going through 150%, I have been depressed now for a while, I have my BD with me, but I'm still depressed because his a^^ want marry me and I feel like I'm the sh^t and sooo many guys want me but that means nothing when the one guy in the world you want to want you DONT!

hbankich - Friday, 13 Mar
Don't worry about him. Men are werid about things. If he doesn't want to be involved then tell him to leave you alone. Men don't want any of the work, but all the pleasure. I.E. the fun to make a baby, but don't want to change diapers. But when your son is star quaterback, they are there. makes me sick. Stick in there, it will all be okay.

gwendalyne - Friday, 13 Mar
Hey girl...I know how you feel...I was like that my first pregnancy...but it will get better once the baby gets here! Just trust in God

KittenAsACat - Friday, 13 Mar
I'm so sorry for what you're going through and the way you're feeling. I'm feeling very depressed myself. I just found out recently I have number 2 on the way (number one is just 7 months old!) and baby daddy (who i've been living with but in a stressful environment half the time)is very unhappy about it and this morning was very mean to me. He's at work now and a friend of mine is on the way to pick me and my son up. I need to get away for a few days the yelling is not good for me. I just hope he doesnt want us to break up forever...Just very sad depressed and scared right now so...I'm definitely feeling you..

mickeychelle30 - Friday, 13 Mar
Aaaww....don't feel bad...I really don't know what to say...I know how it feels to be by urself....I guess everyone is gonna say that but I am right now have been since the beggining....I don't have any good suggestion cuz im the type of person to just brush shit off and start thinkin bout other shit or doin other shit....so what I tend to do now is just sleep or get on the computer all day cuz I don't work...at one point I thought I wuld go crazy being by myself but for some reason im used to it now...I just start thinking about all the room I have in my bed for myself and all the food I get to eat by myself lol...I know that sounds stupid but that's just how I deal wit it....and I don't know if anything I just said is gonna help u it probably won't....just letting u know ur not the alone babesu can talk to me if need be...and just think in a couple of months you will have the man of ur dreams laying next to you.! I know that was a corny but its the truth! :-)

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