13-5-2009 - Updated

My mood while writing this blog: Stressed

Well today the date is 13th May 2009.. Trevor went home on the 11th, after a long visit. I was meant to go with him but we found out on the Friday that my Dr's receptionist hadn't done what she said she was going to do, so we had to cancel my ticket and wait for my Visa to arrive which could take well we have no idea.
Anyway due to us thinking we were going home together, we didn't bother using contraception, if we got pregnant then it was meant to be.. Anyway there is still no period.. There was a little blood last week, but not even enough to notice really.
So I think I could be pregnant, this morning I actually threw up. Anyway I went and brought a pregnancy kit today going to do it tomorrow. I'm so worried..
Everything goes perfect when he's with me, but last time I came back home pregnant I had a miscarriage.. What if it's something I do wrong when I'm on my own?
What if it's my fault, and I have another one, what if we're not even pregnant.. There are so many questions going round in my head right now, and I'm so confused. I've come out in this itchy rash, the chemist told me that it could be pregnancy hives or something.. So I've got an appointment with the Dr even if I'm not pregnant I still need to know what it is..
There's something different this time, last pregnancy didn't feel right.. I know it wasn't our time to have a baby then, but this time, something inside feels different. It's been like 8 weeks since my last period..
But I'd be at the latest around 5-6 weeks pregnant, since Trevor came here the 2nd April..