Claire1987's I-am-pregnantblog

Claire1987
	Age: 22 Country: USA Province/region: WA City: Covington Partner: Married. Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: Dispatcher for tow trucks. (when needed)
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 764 days ago. Member since: 1893 days
\| Profile \| Photos (16) \| Children (1) \| Blog (16) \| Polls (2) \| Agenda (4) \| Comments added (135) \| Notepad

Members

Write a new blog

23-4-2010 - Pregnancy update- Rambling

My mood while writing this blog:
Expressive

Well I am now almost 30 weeks pregnant, and honestly never saw myself at this point.. It's been such an amazing pregnancy, from the morning sickness to the uncomfortable nights. I guess there's a lot to update, I feel like I've let myself down since I wanted to update as much as possible, but never really got into it.. It's almost like I got too many people around me, I don't like writing while someone is around, and well there's always someone, right now my dh is cooking food so I'm making the most of it, yes he'll read it anyway but I can't express myself with someone watching me write.. I know it's weird.
Anyway.. We found out we're having a little boy at our 20 week scan, and were told that the dr think's he's gonna be a big baby, in every way lol. My morning sickness finally wore off a few weeks before this, and I'm now at my pre-pregnancy weight, since I lost some of it due to throwing everything back up. I love being pregnant, the only thing that gets me is when people say I don't look pregnant, and for that reason I've not took any pictures which I wanted to do, I've just felt fat every time I've looked in the mirror, and I'm thinking how do I not look pregnant, my belly is sticking out further than my boobs, and well with a 40 H bra size my belly is huge lol.. But it's ok.. I guess people's opinion's really shouldn't matter to me..
This is mine and my dh's first child together.. We're both so excited, we moved downstairs in the house we live in, (the basement) so that we have more room for the both of us, our dog and our baby. We currently live with his mom and step dad and sister. We were saving up for a house of our own, but then my dh lost his job and I've had no one to talk to about it, he hates talking about it, and didn't want me talking to anyone else about it either. Of course he thinks I worry too much.. But we used all our savings and all the money we had left.. Luckily we just got the tax return, so it will help us through till he finds a job.. I currently cannot work due to stupid government crap still.. They want a medical but wont give me one while I'm pregnant, (which is ridiculous), but still no stupid social security number for me.. But that's another story.
My dh has been looking, it's like every day he finds a place that says they are hiring, but nobody actually hires.. If that makes any sense?? I guess it's just stupid.. They tell him he has a good chance of being hired, yet hear nothing, we check like every week and maybe that's the problem being too persistent.. Or maybe there's just not enough. My mil was teaching me how to drive, but she's been sick recently so we've not really got any time to do that, and my dh can't drive either.
My main problem is that I'm so dependent on people around me, I hate it. We were so fine when we got pregnant, we had a income, we had money in savings so that we could actually get our own place, probably not soon, but soon enough to the point where we wouldn't be here for ever..
I guess this next bit is gonna sound so selfish and possible naive and well.. Can't think of the word but I'm sure someone will mention it if anyone has even read this, I don't expect them to..
With this being our first pregnancy, we had everything set up where we could afford this baby with ease, I'd get a job by the time the baby came, be able to take time off and still have money to spare, then dh was gonna go part time, with 2 income's we'd have enough money coming in to live comfortably with saving's rising.. But then he lost his job, government decided I needed another medical for some fucked up reason.. We've not brought anything new for this baby, I didn't want just hand me down's I wanted to actually go out and buy something new, buy the crib, or changing table, or spoil him just by buying him the needed things.. Instead we've been given hand me down clothes, mil brought him a bunch of stuff, we got given a crib and a bassinet.. It's like.. I dunno, maybe I'm just being stupid, I just don't know what's going to happen now.. My dh says I worry too much and I know I probably do, but everything was gonna work out, but then with the luck of my life I should've known it was gonna go wrong somehow.
I always feel like there's a catch, something good happens, something bad has to happen. It's like it can't just be good things.

Anyway before I get too bad into rambling.. I'm gonna try and update my journal's more often.. Hoping that I will get back into the habit of doing it!

1 Comments on Pregnancy update- Rambling

twincubator - Tuesday, 27 Apr
Well, I understand right where you are! Not long after I got pg with our twins, my DH lost his job due to downsizing, and then 2 months later, I got laid off from my job. We both had really good jobs, new cars, and were saving money and thought that we would be able to get things for our babies. We were wrong. :( DH was able to get a job, thanks to my dad, and I was in the hospital on bedrest just 3 weeks later. Our twins are now 15months, and I still don't have a steady job....and am now 30w pregnant. We had to give up our new vehicles and go through a bankruptcy, and came close to losing our home and moving in with my parents. Thank goodness he was able to find another better job, and his parents have helped us out a lot. We still haven't been able to get anything new for our children - everything is hand-me-downs or rummage sale finds. It's disappointing to not be able to get things new, but I have come to the conclusion that even though it's not new, we have what we need, and that's what is most important. I know it's hard for you, but try to keep your chin up. It will all work out in the end. Be thankful that his family can help you in this time of need - there are a lot of people out there who don't have the help. Big hugs to you!

Photos