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30-3-2010 - man rant...don't read if you don't wanna hear me bitch

My mood while writing this blog: pissed right off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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i am seriously pissed right off!!!
my oh lost his job a few weeks ago (he got fired from 2 jobs in the space of 3 weeks) and that pissed me off...we have 3 kids and number 4 due in august, we are living off my child tax credit (£140.00 a week) and are waiting to hear back about his benefits which seems to be taking forever!!!!!!!!! i pay out £80.00 a week on bills which leaves us £60.00 a week to feed us all!
last week i had to pawn all my jewellery just so we had some cash, we have nothing saved up and have to buy several things in preparation of our new son (last child was a girl and i don't want him using all her pink stuff) and i have no idea how we are going to cope!!!
anyway, the main problem is my oh likes to smoke weed, he doesn't do it in front of the kids before anyone starts to say we are unresponsible parents.
he smoked it before we met and used to do a whole lot more but now he just likes a smoke anyway...last week he spent £50.00 on the stuff and he has just left to meet someone to get some more and i'm fuming but if i tell him he can't get any he throws a tantrum that would rival ANY toddler.
i know i'm not being unreasonable, he just doesn't seem to care... we had a huge row before he left and i told him his world seems to revolve around weed and he needs to realise that there are far more important things to be spending money on!!!!!!!!
argh...i feel like screaming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so pissed off that i don't even want him to come back cos i know i'm gonna be a bitch all night and i don't wanna talk to him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry...just needed to get that off my chest but it doesn't seemed to of helped even slightly :(

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5 Comments on man rant...don't read if you don't wanna hear me bitch


heidismummy - Wednesday, 31 Mar
sorry to hear you are going through this situation. firstly i think the most important thing is for him to get off the weed. people underestimate the control of this drug, it causes paranoia, extreme moodiness and laziness. a guy hooked on weed will NOT be interested in getting a job even if you are skint and struggling, as his only priority will be where his next batch of weed comes from. thats the solid truth in the matter. i had an ex boyfriend who was hooked on weed and had no ambition, no desire to do anything, only to still be stuck in his childish ways of smoking weed with his boys and pretending he didnt have to grow up at any stage!!! your partner will not be interested in getting a job until he gets rid of his addiction and im afriad to say that could be never or that could be a matter of time. unfortunately you are in a no win situation with him, if he decides to quit then thats fantastic but the chances are that he wont, being in desperate need for money at the moment isnt even spurring him onto quitting. so im afraid having serious words with him i.e. 'its the drugs or me and the kids' is exactly what talk he needs right now! if you put it off because you dont want to hear one of his 'tantrums' then nothing will change. best of luck with whatever you decide to do!

louisec - Tuesday, 30 Mar
hiso sorry to hear about your probs. he cant afford to do that if your on such a small amount, are you sure your getting all the tax credits you are entitled to and the sure start pregnancy grant, if you have the higher rate tax credit? plus health in pregnancy grant. you should be entitled to housing benefit too if you are renting and not working.the .gov website is great for finding out what you are entitled to. If you are not married it might be worth considering on claiming alone and kick him into touch, for your childrens sake as well as your own. sorry if its not what you wanna hear but some men just dont grow up what ever happens.lou

janeylou32 - Tuesday, 30 Mar
Oh hunny, my ex husband also, notice the 'ex', it was a major contributer to us splitting up! Tbh you'll get more money if you're on your own anyway, the social do generally step up with housing benefit etc if you're alone and stuff, i know that's probably not what you want to hear but if he puts the weed before a job and it's a priority maybe you're better off with him elsewhere. Sorry just my two pennies worth xx

yazzmin-16yrsapart - Tuesday, 30 Mar
Sorry...I had to vent. Your blog brought back memories I didn't want to think about. I swear I think they're putting something in this weed these days because it's like the new crack! I hope he gets it together because I know that's a lot of stress on you. Dealing with & trying to feed the family & make sure you guys have a light to turn on is a lot to deal with alone. I've been there. I maintain a job & only have one child but it's still hard when your doing it by yourself. Unlike you, me & my EX didn't have any children together, so I'm not gonna suggest you leave. Pray for your family & I hope & pray things get better for you. Have a blessed one.

yazzmin-16yrsapart - Tuesday, 30 Mar
I feel your pain! My EX-hubby which I'm seperated from (not my babies father...thank god) had this habit. Needless to say, he started making it & the fellows a priority. He also lost his job & was having the hardest time trying to find another. I think after so long he kinda gave up altogether but was telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. Anyway, I would take off just to make sure he put in applications any & everywhere. He lucked up & was interviewed on the spot at Target (thanks to me) but when he went to take the drug test a day or two later he failed & hid it from me for the longest. He knew I would be pissed because I told him it's not about what you do but how you do it. And if you know this will stop you from getting a job, don't do it until after you land one at least! So I came across the letter in his car months later. Pissed but still trying to work through it, I told him go to school. At least get some financial aid to help out. He went long enough to get "1" damn check & than continued to "act" like he was going. When I tell you I was so done! I'm still trying to divorce this fool.

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