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|06-5-2009 - Dreading the next few weeks
||My mood while writing this blog:|
My grandmother is passing away from cancer and will probably pass on in the next few days. She is only 73. She is ready to go, and can't wait to see my grandfather in heaven who passed, also from cancer, 5 years ago. I work at the hospital where she is and I have been her nurse many times. Today i couldn't bare to go into work. it is too hard to function with my family there crying and then for me to have to put on a fake smile and go into other patients rooms and pretend to be happy when I am not. We have not told her about the baby because she is having a hard time leaving all of her little great grandchildren behind and knowing that she won't be around to see this baby would only hurt her more. With my last PG, we told her and she wasn't excited as she was with my first DD. i think she knew she wouldn't live long enough to see the baby born. unfortunatly, that one ended in M/C.
I so desperatly want to ask her if she has been dreaming about eggs! I know sounds crazy, but everytime one of us is pregnant she dreams about eggs! She has to look for them (regular eggs, not easter eggs!) and she digs them up. She says that she dreams about eggs for a few times in the begining. With my last PG she asked my sister if she was pregnant because she had dreamt about eggs (my sister had just gotten married a few months prior) she was not PG, but I was! She told my other sister that she couldn't understand why in each dream her eggs were getting smaller when this has never happened before. They always get bigger and bigger. This last time the egg got as small as a peanut. I miscarried shortly after this. She has never told me this, only told my sister. I think she was scared to upset me. Now, I want to know if she is dreaming about eggs and if they are getting bigger! I am so scared to m/c again.
I love my grandma so much, and will miss her terribly. She was always so full of life and so much fun!
5 Comments on Dreading the next few weeksallieandbaby
- Monday, 11 May Hey Crystal!
Just wanted to write you because I have recent;y had a m/c, I was 7w3d. I would love to get pregnant as soon as I can and reading your story about waiting less than a cycle has put a huge smile on my face. I was scared it might take a long time, but I now have hope that it may not take long at all. I also found your comment about having a bad feeling right from the start of pregnancy similar to my situation. I was very happy when I got the positive test, but I could never shake the "bad" feeling I had deep down that something jsut wasn't right. I guess we know before we really know.
Take care and good luck!!!! mommie-2-2
- Wednesday, 6 May Sorry youre going through a rough patch!!! Grandmas always seem to know things before everyone else! Youre in my thoughts! ~ I luv my boyz ~
- Wednesday, 6 May Iam so so sorry I cannot imagine how you feel It would hurt so much to lose your grandma at such a young age,I think the egg thing is cute I have dreams that come true all the time.
I had a dream this is a girl and I hope im right ....
I wish I could take away your pain but since all I can do Is say positive words heres some xxxxxxxxxs
xoxox jen mommy22girls
- Wednesday, 6 May I am so sorry about you Grandma. I remember all to well what it was like to lose my grandma (5 yrs ago) and how hard it was to watch as her health continued to fail. Your Grandma sounds like an amazing lady and those dreams of hers ~ well they are amazing!
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. roosa
- Wednesday, 6 May I am so sorry your grandmother may soon be gone from your life. She sounds like an amazing woman. And those dreams just blows my mind. I hope you will keep remembering all the beautiful things she has brought to your life and that you will bring them on to others. You too are an amazing woman! I hope this final time will be precious, although hard. Thinking of you! Love, Karin