30-6-2008 - Just thinking

My mood while writing this blog: ok

Ok, so I have been thinking how much my boyfriend wants to be a part of his little girls life. I mean down to wanting to go with me to register for the baby shower... which by the way I found out is going to be at the end of August... and it ROCKS how much he wants to do. And then I start thinking about some of my friends where the fathers don't want anything to do with there kids, either that or they mentally can't.

First my nephew. My sister was dating "the donor" as she likes to call him and he proposed to her and they were planning on getting married, now they were in there early 20's both care free and did what they wanted. My sister ends up pregnant on accident, was not planned in any way. She realizes that he is not in any position to raise a child and keep a family. He has no job and no home, bounces from place to place. So she desides that they can't get married and calls the whole thing off and tells him to get lost. He does, no questions asked (he knows she's pregnant with his kid). Three years go by... my sister comes to realize that she can't keep her son from "the donor". It's not right and she doesn't want her boy to grow up thinking that his mom is the reason he never knew his dad, and then blame her and hate her for it. She wouldn't be able to live with that. So she decided to get in touch with "the donor" and let him see him. "The donor" was all for it, he was happy to be able to finally spend time with his son. My sister spent a year and a half driving her son 3 hours (both ways) so he could spend EVERY weekend with "the donor". She finally got tired of it and told "the donor" that if he wanted to see his son then he can make an effort to do so. That was 10 years ago, my nephew will be 14 this november. His father NEVER made an effort. The sad thing is... a few years ago my sister asked him "If he could have anything in the world, what would it be?" He said... "A dad". But he didn't go without... our dad was there for him, to be a "Father figure" and nobodys dad Rocks more than my dad. Well, so I say. But at least my sister can rest easy, my nephew now knows that it was his fathers choice not to make that effort.

Second, my bestfriends little girl. 12 years ago, my best friend is living 3 states away by herself and gets hooked onto cocanie and dope and what not... Ends up getting with a man that already has like 5 kids by 3 other women and she herself gets knocked up by him. Well this comes as a wake up call for her and she ends up cleaning herself up and moves back home with her mom and dad and they help her out. Now my best friend passes away three years ago, due to her doctor... well anyways... but her daughter is now 8 years old and her parents want to get custody. The father is not on the birth certificate but because they know who he is a letter has to be sent to him to let him know that if he wants custody or any rights to her then he needs to show up at the court house. Needless to say, he was a no show. Can you imagine being 8 years old, sitting in front of a judge and him telling you that your father has abandonded you? It all turned out ok, cause my best friends parents got custody of her and she is a happy 11 year old girl.

Now another friend of mine. This is the one girl you grow up with and think, now she will never have kids. She will be who she is and that is fine. She never thought she could even have kids. She spent 7 years with one guy. Never had protected sex, never got pregnant... FOR 7 YEARS! The end up splitting up and going there own way... she ended up going to school in Hawaii... she meet a guy there in Hawaii and starting dating him. They were together for over a year... Remember she went 7 years with unprotected sex and never getting pregnant so she figured she never could. So for over a year with this new guy she of course had unprotected sex. Now my friend was never a small girl, she was a "big girl" so being in Hawaii she desided to start eating right and excersize. Which she did and she lost a ton of weight. She looked really good, looking at the pictures you would never guess it was her. Well bam weight comes off, she gets pregnant. She asked her doctor what happened, cause she never thought she could, and the doctor said it was because she had lost the weight. Her body reacted to the weight loss and allowed her to get pregnant. Now the father ended up being bi-polar and schizophrenic, nice... well my friend moved to alabama where she had family and is now back here in texas and the father is trying to get medical help and is still in hawaii. So this little girl will probably end up not knowing her dad really well either.

It makes me glad that my little girl will know her father and that he wants to be a part of her life or even OUR lives.