GoldenMama37's I-am-pregnantblog

GoldenMama37
	Age: 37 Country: USA Province/region: Midwest City: Partner: Bryan - hubby Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: manager
	Online: 2 days ago. Last updated: 35 days ago. Member since: 341 days
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07-8-2009 - Never the same

My mood while writing this blog:
Thankful

I will never look at a baby the same way again. I was never what I considered a "baby person" before I had and held my son. Babies were fussy, confusing, delicate, noisy little things that I avoided holding, touching much less fawning over....give me a 3 or 4 yr old I could talk too, draw pictures for, get down and dirty in the sandbox with...they are so much FUN!

But something has changed. After holding my son and watching him with his dad. Just last night we were cheering him on as he lifted his head and changed sides how he was laying against his dad's chest. We praised him and were elated later as he waived his erratic and tiny little arms, bumping a hand now and then into his rattle - on purpose or accident I'm still not sure - but at 5 weeks old he seems to be figuring out the sensation of seeing an object, hearing it and touching it can be related. He is my hero. Far more exciting and inspiring than any world class athlete I'd witnessed before.

Last night I picked up the local town weekly paper. There was a story about a young local couple and their son who was born about a month before ours. There they were pictured on the front page, as we had been, in the hospital holding their newborn smiling at him with all the love on their faces that we are too familiar with - only they were beaming despite the tubes and a respirator attached to their tiny baby. Apparently he had lost his oxygen supply during birth and now had severe damage to his brain and spinal cord.

So as I fret over finances and the cost of living (and the ridiculous amount the hospital billed my insurance company for a natural birth and the deductible portion we have to pay), I scrape together $20 to put in an envelope to drop off to a local bank that started a fund for this child...and count my blessings.

Like the blessing of hearing my son's cry waking me up at night, and again early this morning. For changing his dirty diapers and trying to snap the snaps on his onesie while he kicks his legs in an absolute fit because he's still tired yet wants his bottle...for his fussy cries when we are out walking in the stroller and his pacifier keeps falling out every 30 feet...for my wonderful husband who takes him from me after he spits up 1/2 the bottle I just fed him and I walk over to the washing machine to strip down and take a shower and call it a night...(I will have to work much harder to call it a blessing when it happens again).

I am so blessed.
Enjoy your little ones everyone!
Babies are so much FUN!

3 Comments on Never the same

hbankich - Monday, 10 Aug
I liked how you put it all. My step sister had a frined whos little 9 week oldbaby was killed in a car wreck about 2 or 3 weeks ago and it made me cry because i look at Brooklynn and I amm like wow she is his age.

kelly5150rn - Friday, 7 Aug
Well spoken...

shelleyb - Friday, 7 Aug
Yes they are amazing little people aren't they? And I learned long ago when I lost my second born at a month old to NEVER take them for granted. They truly are a gift. I don't know what I would do if anything were to happen to one of my kids again. Cheyenne has only been here two months and I can't remember life without her. Nor do I want to try.

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