02-7-2009 - biggest let down ever

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

my friggin period showed up, friggin 4 days earlier. Mother nature sucks.

serious note: im done. im so tired of the let down. its mentally exhausting. i want to literally cry for hours right now. I started crying in the car when i felt cramps. It would actually have been better if my period came on time, even late but NOT early. Friggin ridiculous. I really don't know what else to do. I've tried everything. Chris and I had so much time together and i did everything i was supposed to. I'm drug free and eat right. I do everything right. I had even quit drinking. I haven't drank in 2 years!!!

I feel so hopeless right now. I don't think i'll ever get pregnant. Wtf is wrong with me. What did i do to deserve being barren?

When Chris and I get married, im goin to get professional help with our problem. I don't care how much it costs.

I hate thinking that im 99% pregnant then getting my period. I feel like the biggest idiot in the world. I'm done and officially depressed now.