| J9 | |
 | Age: 32 Country: UK Province/region: City: Partner: husband mike Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: No Due date: 04 Jan ,2011 Occupation: Psychologist |
| Online: 2 days ago. Last updated: 259 days ago. Member since: 1429 days | |
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Today I'm thinking of my angel baby in the sky... s/he was due today. I remember new year's eve so vividly; that's the day I found out I was pregnant. September 5th seemed so very far away I wondered how I'd get through those 9 months! Little did I know the journey that lay ahead and that we'd have to say goodbye at 13 weeks. So here I am; September 5th is upon me and I am nearly 17 weeks pregnant with a new little miracle who is due almost exactly a year after our angel went to heaven, a fact which to me connects these two babies forever... This little one has a guardian angel.
I feel like I've been so blessed this year... and yet I've had do much heartache and anxiety. A part of me died when I had to say goodbye and no matter how happy I am about this beautiful, healthy baby inside me I will never ever forget that my first child laid in there for a while and called me home.
It's ironic that after about a week of feeling flutters in my tummy today was the day I started to feel very distinctive movements from my baby... it makes me stop in my tracks and smile every time it happens. I never got to feel my angel, but I have very clear memories in my head of what s/he looked like and of the beautiful sound of his/her heartbeat.
My angel baby brought home to me the true meaning of love and loss... of how terribly hard it is to say goodbye when all you want to do is hang on forever... of how terribly difficult and unfair it is when the worst happens when you've done nothing wrong... and of healing and starting to believe again... Those lessons were hard, but my life is richer as a consequence of the experiences I've been through. So for that, I'll love my angel forever.
God bless my angel and all the other angel babies, and may all their mums and dads find peace and healing in their hearts.
10 Comments on An angel was due today
preggiebelly - Sunday, 14 Sep
I think about my little one's due date all the time.... I wonder how I'll feel when that day comes~ if I'll be in sobs or if I'll be able to keep it together and thank God for the precious baby that we have now..... probably a bit of both.
I imagine what you were feeling this day was dreadful and I don't look forward going through it.
I think that some people believe that we feel much better now because we're pregnant again....and we do, but sometimes they forget that we still feel the sting of our loss. I should be 34 weeks along now.... packing my bag for the hospital & washing all the clothes in the nursery.
Still~ I imagine that God will explain this all to me in time & I couldn't be more thankful for the little one that I have due in February.
Thank you so much for sharing.... I'm so very happy that everything is so perfect for you this time around. *hugs*~ Jamie
TracyB - Monday, 8 Sep
Hi Janine - am just now reading your post about your little angel. You wrote it all so lovely and special. I know we will always be different people for the experiences we've had, we are changed forever, but we will see them again. I believe that with all my heart. Big hugs to you my friend!! Tracy
TanyaT - Sunday, 7 Sep
Just wanted to say I am thinking of you and I am so glad everything is going smoothly this time. God Bless You...Take care
yuki - Sunday, 7 Sep
you made me cry...i also have an angel due on nov, but nevertheless i have laso found strength and healing through my new baby inside me now. but same like you i would never forget my first baby who touched our lives even for a short time. God bless our angels...
kellyk - Saturday, 6 Sep
very well written! This made me cry..... Take care.......
minkymoo78 - Saturday, 6 Sep
Hi that brought a tear to my eye. I would have had an angel due on 25th October and another in April. I really hope I am pregnant again by the time those dates come because I don't know how I'll get through it otherwise x
GreenWood - Saturday, 6 Sep
Sorry for the belated message, but m computer was being repaired yesterday.... What you had to live through will only strengthen you and make this baby that more special you know.... How wonderful that she gave you a little lift on that difficult day by dancing around for you. All the best lovely, xx
AprilChristine - Saturday, 6 Sep
reaching that first day your angel was due, is one of the hardest days ever. I wish i would have been pregnant when I reached that point, but it was only a day of deep sadness. i'm so glad it's not like that for you.
my angel would be turning 2 on Oct 3rd, and to this day he's always in my thoughts. you never forget, and it always hurts, but it gets easier every year.
it's funny how you say the new little one is due almost exactly a year from when your angel passed away. it was almost the same for me. I lost mine on june 2nd, and had Aubrey on the 21rst. but two years apart, instead of one.
I cannot fully express how happy I am for you. I think because i'm so in tune with how your feeling right now. it's amazing, and i can't wait for you to hold that baby for the first time. i guarantee it's the most amazing feeling in the world.
roosa - Saturday, 6 Sep
My love and hugs on this day! Glad to see that you are finding strength and comfort. xox Karin
firsttimer - Friday, 5 Sep
Oh love, if I could print tears.......... I'm drinking too much wine and thinking about my up and coming date too, October 5th, my husband's birthday, when our first baby should have been born. Thinking and feeling everything you are today........ x Love to your wee one in heaven x
| 05-9-2008 - An angel was due today |  My mood while writing this blog:Reflective |
Today I'm thinking of my angel baby in the sky... s/he was due today. I remember new year's eve so vividly; that's the day I found out I was pregnant. September 5th seemed so very far away I wondered how I'd get through those 9 months! Little did I know the journey that lay ahead and that we'd have to say goodbye at 13 weeks. So here I am; September 5th is upon me and I am nearly 17 weeks pregnant with a new little miracle who is due almost exactly a year after our angel went to heaven, a fact which to me connects these two babies forever... This little one has a guardian angel.
I feel like I've been so blessed this year... and yet I've had do much heartache and anxiety. A part of me died when I had to say goodbye and no matter how happy I am about this beautiful, healthy baby inside me I will never ever forget that my first child laid in there for a while and called me home.
It's ironic that after about a week of feeling flutters in my tummy today was the day I started to feel very distinctive movements from my baby... it makes me stop in my tracks and smile every time it happens. I never got to feel my angel, but I have very clear memories in my head of what s/he looked like and of the beautiful sound of his/her heartbeat.
My angel baby brought home to me the true meaning of love and loss... of how terribly hard it is to say goodbye when all you want to do is hang on forever... of how terribly difficult and unfair it is when the worst happens when you've done nothing wrong... and of healing and starting to believe again... Those lessons were hard, but my life is richer as a consequence of the experiences I've been through. So for that, I'll love my angel forever.
God bless my angel and all the other angel babies, and may all their mums and dads find peace and healing in their hearts.
10 Comments on An angel was due today
preggiebelly - Sunday, 14 Sep
I think about my little one's due date all the time.... I wonder how I'll feel when that day comes~ if I'll be in sobs or if I'll be able to keep it together and thank God for the precious baby that we have now..... probably a bit of both.
I imagine what you were feeling this day was dreadful and I don't look forward going through it.
I think that some people believe that we feel much better now because we're pregnant again....and we do, but sometimes they forget that we still feel the sting of our loss. I should be 34 weeks along now.... packing my bag for the hospital & washing all the clothes in the nursery.
Still~ I imagine that God will explain this all to me in time & I couldn't be more thankful for the little one that I have due in February.
Thank you so much for sharing.... I'm so very happy that everything is so perfect for you this time around. *hugs*~ Jamie
TracyB - Monday, 8 Sep
Hi Janine - am just now reading your post about your little angel. You wrote it all so lovely and special. I know we will always be different people for the experiences we've had, we are changed forever, but we will see them again. I believe that with all my heart. Big hugs to you my friend!! Tracy
TanyaT - Sunday, 7 Sep
Just wanted to say I am thinking of you and I am so glad everything is going smoothly this time. God Bless You...Take care
yuki - Sunday, 7 Sep
you made me cry...i also have an angel due on nov, but nevertheless i have laso found strength and healing through my new baby inside me now. but same like you i would never forget my first baby who touched our lives even for a short time. God bless our angels...
kellyk - Saturday, 6 Sep
very well written! This made me cry..... Take care.......
minkymoo78 - Saturday, 6 Sep
Hi that brought a tear to my eye. I would have had an angel due on 25th October and another in April. I really hope I am pregnant again by the time those dates come because I don't know how I'll get through it otherwise x
GreenWood - Saturday, 6 Sep
Sorry for the belated message, but m computer was being repaired yesterday.... What you had to live through will only strengthen you and make this baby that more special you know.... How wonderful that she gave you a little lift on that difficult day by dancing around for you. All the best lovely, xx
AprilChristine - Saturday, 6 Sep
reaching that first day your angel was due, is one of the hardest days ever. I wish i would have been pregnant when I reached that point, but it was only a day of deep sadness. i'm so glad it's not like that for you.
my angel would be turning 2 on Oct 3rd, and to this day he's always in my thoughts. you never forget, and it always hurts, but it gets easier every year.
it's funny how you say the new little one is due almost exactly a year from when your angel passed away. it was almost the same for me. I lost mine on june 2nd, and had Aubrey on the 21rst. but two years apart, instead of one.
I cannot fully express how happy I am for you. I think because i'm so in tune with how your feeling right now. it's amazing, and i can't wait for you to hold that baby for the first time. i guarantee it's the most amazing feeling in the world.
roosa - Saturday, 6 Sep
My love and hugs on this day! Glad to see that you are finding strength and comfort. xox Karin
firsttimer - Friday, 5 Sep
Oh love, if I could print tears.......... I'm drinking too much wine and thinking about my up and coming date too, October 5th, my husband's birthday, when our first baby should have been born. Thinking and feeling everything you are today........ x Love to your wee one in heaven x
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02-6-2010 - spotting... and another scan
29-5-2010 - 8 week scan
18-5-2010 - First Trimester is halfway done!
28-4-2009 - three months into parenthood
24-11-2008 - UPDATED 2nd FEB - Third Trimester
28-10-2008 - 23 week 4 days scan
03-10-2008 - 20 week 5 day scan
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02-9-2008 - 16 week ultrasound
22-8-2008 - UPDATED 19th October - Second Trimester
12-8-2008 - The dreaded and long awaited 13 week 2 day scan
11-7-2008 - 8 week 5 day scan
18-6-2008 - Updated 6th AUGUST - First Trimester
08-6-2008 - Pregnancy Symptoms
07-6-2008 - I-AM-PREGNANT
03-6-2008 - An emotional wait
23-5-2008 - The time has come.. a little early! 23 May 2008
11-5-2008 - Back to square one
10-5-2008 - Waiting to test... tomorrow!
06-5-2008 - Symptoms or Madness! 6th May 2008
06-5-2008 - Trying again... 27th April 2008
06-5-2008 - follow up with the doctor 24th april
06-5-2008 - a new cycle, a new beginning
06-5-2008 - waiting for first AF 2nd April 2008
Agenda
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