20-6-2008 - SO UNHAPPY!!

My mood while writing this blog: Really angry & annoyed

Today I went to get "booked" for my maternity/hospital care. I have been trying to get myself into the "correct" hospital since I was pregnant with the baby that I lost in February. So after numerous phone calls to the midwife community office, my gp, the Primary Care Trust and the hospitals themselves during the past week (since receiving my letter confirming my appointment, yet again to the wrong hospital), I was finally persuaded to just give this one a try. They told me that if I still insisted on having my antenatal care at the other hospital that they can always change it at a later stage. Yea right...

My reason for not wanting to go to this particular hospital is because I've received all my care up until now from Barnet General - my scans, bloodtests, my referrals, my ERPC procedure (miscarriage) everything has been done through Barnet however now they want me to go to Chase Farm, which is not only more difficult to get to, but it's also an awful hospital!!! It's grubby & old and I'm really not being a brat now but really you must see it to believe it! From the outside you can see the curtains in the wards (none matching by the way and looking like kitchen curtains) hanging lop-sided, the building hasn't been maintained for years and even the roads were uneven with potholes!

I am SO unhappy now, I just feel like crying! I honestly thought it couldn't be that bad, seeing that we are in a "first world" country afterall so I thought I'd just go there this morning with a positive attitude and get on with it. Oh how I regret it now, esp since the midwife (who wasn't from the team of midwives who would be seeing me again anyway) said that I am now "confirmed" for my antenatal care, my delivery and post natal care at Chase Farm. Dammit, dammit, damn it! I will not stand for it! I am getting my husband (he needs to help out now too) to contact my gp's practice manager this afternoon to sort it out.

I mean all the NHS's paperwork / website info says the patient has the right to choose (normally from at least 4 options) where to have their hospital care. So what happened to my so-called right? This is bullshit man. I refuse to go back to that place. And that's the end of it.

You know, this whole thing today has just broken my heart. I was SO upbeat about everything and so looking forward to starting my maternity care and now this has just taken it all away. I can't believe that I am back to phoning and pleading with people (with my foreign accent!) to get me into Barnet or even just a remotely better hospital than Chase Farm! And how much more difficult is it going to be now that I've already been "booked in" at Chase Farm I wonder! I've been fooled and I am heartbroken!