15-10-2009 - DH new job

My mood while writing this blog: worried, a nerves wreck

Well, as I have said before some of you know my dh works full time for the National Guard. He has an office job so it's safe to say he'll never be deployed in that position. He comes home the other day and tells me that the coronal from a different location came down to talk to him about a job. This is a job he has though about changing to because his title can change faster and means more money. We bought our house by his current job so he said he wouldn't change until we moved. Well, anyways I'll get to the point. They want him at the other location to train some guys that just got back from Iraq.

Everything about the job sounds fine other than the commute he now is going to have to make, which really isn't far but has really bad traffic. Then after he tells me he is going to take the job and start in December he says I'll stay for 2 years then leave because they will start deployments again around that time. My heart dropped, he says that since they just got back they won't pull them again for 2 years, which I don't believe. I didn't say anything to him at the time but I have not been able to stop thinking about it.

I finally just let myself cry today for a good 40 mins. I'm worried sick that he will now take this job and get deployed. I know families deal with this every day but I never thought I would have to worry about it. I'm sick to my stomach about it. I don't want him to take the job but I don't want to hold him back in his career. The money doesn't even matter until retirement and I feel like what happens if he doesn't make it that long. I tend to always think the worst of things and I end up wrong. I hope I'm really wrong this time. I always worry about people I love and care for all the time. Doesn't matter if they are just driving to the store I worry. I don't think I could deal with him being gone it would cause me to just break down.