26-7-2008 - Back home again

My mood while writing this blog: ok

We're back from our vacation (see earlier blog). The vacation was ok - lots of work but the weather was great! The "issue" with hubby (again, see earlier blog) didn't resolve but we moved on. I'm still raw about it but not going on about it anymore. We're fine again.

We've been back a week. I've been working and trying to sort out various issues with the other children. our eldest boy, Thomas, we've just been told is ADD. No surprises there - the surprise is that it took so long to diagnose.

Oh no! Just this moment my husband has asked if he can do the coastal classic yacht race again this October (the 5 day race he did last year the day after I lost the twins). This baby is due October 22! Our other son has a birthday October 5. I said "of course not". "It's only for a few days" he said. He persisted in pressuring me to say yes he could take off sailing for 5 days in October. ("It's an important race", "it's only for a few days", "if your mum's here it should be alright"...). I'm shocked that he asked in the first place and flabbergasted that he is persisting so strongly. He is a very selfish man. I guess the "issue" is not resolved as it is not about any one particular race - but rather about a very selfish attitude - one in which he thinks it is ok to take off in the month our 3rd baby is due to be born. I guess I'm going on about it again - what a co-incidence of timing. I'd given up on the issue and as soon as I sat down to write this blog he brings up the 5 day race in October. This baby could come any time in October. Is he happy to miss the birth? Is he happy to leave me with 3 children, one a newborn and one with ADD? Is he happy to not be here to support me in those last weeks when I'll feel so big and tired? Or those first weeks when I'm sore and tired? I can't believe him! And he thinks I'm being selfish!!!!!!

Ok I'll move on (again). This baby is carrying very low. She is kicking a lot - or movements similar to kicking. More like bumping. We really like the name Aria Lee Hobbs-Allen.

I'm nervous about when she will be born because I'm working (lecturing at University) right up to (and lecturing on) my due date. I'll have loads of exams to mark in the first weeks of her life. I'm finding it quite hard working as much as I am. Ben is more the "house husband" and I'm more the working girl in this family (he works part time). This arrangement has suited us because I'm capable of earning up to 3x what he can and we have a lot of renovations to do on our house and he is very much a handy man.

In fact, today we started to clear the office out as we're going to reline the walls, put in a wardrobe and paint it for the baby. I'm getting anxious and want a space for the baby soon. Our two boys share the other room (not always a good arrangement as the ADD child is very disruptive). The office is now in the family room along with the TV and kids toys. As a lot of my work is evening/weekend work from the home office I'm nervous about how this arrangement will affect my ability to work.

My goodness: I've re-read my blog and I'm painting quite a dismal picture. Don't worry ladies - I like my life (mostly). I have loads of support around me. Good friends/family. The work I do is enjoyable. The husband is (mostly) loving and supportive. The issues we do have I tend to elevate but in reality everyone has issues, right. These just happen to be mine.

Good luck to all.