KENNEDYS MOMMY's I-am-pregnantblog

KENNEDYS MOMMY
	Age: 20 01/21 Country: THE GREAT OLE U.S.A. Province/region: NY City: NYC Partner: My hubby of 2 years and partner of 12 Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Yes Due date: 05 May ,2010 Occupation: Med Student
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 848 days ago. Member since: 1106 days
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16-9-2009 - M.I.A. for a while/ Emotions/Updates on some things

My mood while writing this blog:
down

Sorry ladies that I have been away for awhile, but being a med student is very time consuming, So far the only person I even have a chance to socialize with is my lab partner Ronnie, who by the was is really hot, so he makes it easy to pay attention too. I couldn't even get up today, because starting late night, I began having cramps and light bleeding and today the cramps kinda just intensified. I pray it is not another miscarriage. I do not want to assume the worst just yet so hopefully it is nothing more than cramps. The last miscarriage took an awful toll on my body, I don't think I will be able to go through it again.
On another note, I still technically haven heard from my husband yet, a few days ago I opened my box to a letter addressed with his name with no address on it. To my surprise it was to his DAD, NOT ME!!! I thought well maybe, mine will come a day or so later, but it hasn't. I was so mad, I didn't even tell his dad that it is here. I have been so tempted to open it, but I know that its illegal I wouldnt hold it passed his dad to do something like that, I think I am just going to go ahead and tell him its here.
I miss my baby girl so much, it has been really hard not having her here with me. My mom told me that she had a cold a few days ago and it slowly going away. I should be there with her right now. I am just ready to call it quits, but I have to constantly remind myself, only a few more years. I graduate next year, but then it would be off to med school.
I dont know, I just feel like a failure as a mother, as a wife. Sometimes I wonder how did I even get blessed with what I have. Maybe my husband just tired and left, IDK.
I also forgot to mention in the blog that have contacted an adoption agency. Its called Spence-Chapin, Idk if any of you are familiar with it, but I am thinking about going with this agency for my baby. I have a few other appointments with other agencies, but I really like this one. They have free prenatal visits and everything. I hadn't really decided on a dr or ob checkups, besides the confirmation I hadn't been back to dr. I was already able to view profiles of couples and families. Dont know if I have seen any that I am just in love with yet, but they have so many, Im sure I am bound to find a set. I only want the best for the baby and it is hard going at this alone and keeping it to myself. I know in the end I would have a life suitable for him or her, but he or she deserves the best now and though I am still getting money from back home, I want my child to have better, preferably somebody in the field that I am going in to which is medicine, m.d. but as long as it is a happy family. I will be fine with that

1 Comments on M.I.A. for a while/ Emotions/Updates on some things

NylahsMom - Wednesday, 16 Sep
Oh sweetie, it sound like you are going through alot. I really hope all goes well with school and at least you will have a very lucrative career in the end that you will be able to provide for your little princess with no problems. I really hope all goes well with you and your husband and you at least get a chance to talk with him b/c it sounds like you guys really need to talk to each other. Keep ya head up momma.

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