Kaysfamily's I-am-pregnantblog

Kaysfamily
	Age: 27 Country: Canada Province/region: Ontario City: Toronto Partner: my husband Edward Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: stay at home with Eric
	Online: 1 days ago. Last updated: 207 days ago. Member since: 1366 days
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26-11-2009 - why ?

My mood while writing this blog:
unhappy and pissed

Hey girls,

This has been going on for a while now, we've been trying our best to not let this bug us so much and ruin our lifes together. I am soo sick and tired of my mother babying my brother taking his side and letting his ex b%^t do whatever she wants! Spoiling my niece and always puts her first and treating my husband like shit! gggrrr We've done nothing wrong i am just soo sick and tired of taking all the crap and getting pushed to the side and think they can say sh%t to us! In the past 2 1/2 yrs my brother has gotten 3 houses!!!! he got 1 with his ex didn't work out then got a smaller house stayed for a bit but then didnt like it and got an other 1. My father is the one paying for all this!!! he's gotten new cars very 2 yrs! He is a spoiled piece of sh%t ! We all know, you can tell me but i already know. He's ex has been giving us all trouble and just trying to get whatever she can. theres a huge story of her buti would rather just leave it alone. My biggest thing is that my mother has changed! She loves Eric and takes care of him, but when julianna my niece is around she is her 1# Eric is taken care of too but if like Eric fell ohh it's okay Eric but if julianna falls it's the end of the world!! and they talk about for days!! Eric is to be at my moms tuseday and fridays to sleep over as we both work early, well now julianna sleeps over those days too! And my mom can't watch them both at night ! (let me fill you in here for a sec my brother does JACK SH^T allll day and night no job just does whatever he wants and gets a free check every 2 weeks from our work,(we own the place) but we work and he doesnt and he gets paid for nothing! He's stupid ex doesn't wanna take care of julia she gives her to my mom all week then cries she doesnt see julia she spends 1/2 the day and then sends her right back to my moms! she goes to UofW but for half the day! by the way they live about 30 mins away. So my mom during the week picks julia up from daycare and takes her to her house and they spend the night together then around 9-10pm she HAS to put julia to sleep in the car and take her to her mothers house if julia is not asleep she askes her to take her around until she does!!! We try to tell my mother she is using you and blah blah she says who else is gonna look after her? her mother doesnt! Now her mother has a new boyfriend but from the states as we live here in canada.)

A few weeks ago Julia fell at moms and hurt her knee like all kids do! She bleed a little but no big deal, well i guess it was for my mom and the whole world and then her mother didnt bring julia to stay with my mom for 3 days caz she thought my mom did it after all she has done. so my mom was soo worried and scared and was hurt! That stupid ___________________________! (i keep it clean lol) So she brings her back and all then my mom is just favouring julia when eric is around my older brother helps and takes more care for Eric! Well monday they were both at my moms. Julia and Eric were playing they both fell together and Eric got hurt he got his cheek scratch on the left side. Julia just fell on her hands and knees. No call nothing to tell me whats up with Eric, i go pick him up and i see the scratch and asked what happened and my mom was like it's nothing it's not a big deal eric just fell he's okay see his playing. OMG if it were julia thats it! watch out but if it's Eric not a big deal?????? are you kidding me?? i haven't been to work all week i was soo pissed off and i' staying home with eric until we can get him in to daycare and she is mad at me for doing this! my son comes first!!! No matter what!! she says i am over reacting then let me be what if something worse happened? I bet Eric got hurt a lot and she didn't say anything to me!! i'm sick of julia getting treated more then eric they should be treated the same! it's not a big deal about this but for julias first birthday they got her a kitchen set, 3 big dolls and clothes and a real bunny! Eric for his first birthday got a plastic train set from my dad and an outfit from his grandma... tell me how am i to feel?

theres sooooo much more to this whole thing but thats what i can write for now, we're thinking of moving to an other city and just be away from all this crap. My mom doesnt even do christmas dinner like she used to caz of my brother n her. she treats my husband like sh&t ! says whatever she wants to him and he's trying he's best not to fight and say anyting rude, he's good that way. We think she treats my husband like sh%t caz she cant treat julia's mother like sh%t or say anything to her! We tried to say something but she always turnes like we're the bad guys. we're ready to just give up and go :( sooo sad and hurt :(

Even more sad i dont have friends to turn too and talk this out or even just be around with. I got all of you of course but it's not the same as you all know. really hurts that i got noone :( the girls at work are frends but they are in their own world and party.

anyway eric's up gotta go, take care eveyone

Kathy and Eric

5 Comments on why ?

13yearsapart - Tuesday, 1 Dec
Oh my gosh Kathy...my heart breaks for you and Eric and Eddie!! This is awful....I am the oldest child and I have four brothers, and even though I was first..I am now last...so I know how it feels to be taken for granted. But let me tell you something, with out my family and my brothers...I'd be lost. No matter the fights and frustration, I couldn't imagine my life without them. I know you are hurting and feeling angry and annoyed, and pissed off. But stop and think about what you'd feel if they we're gone and you could never see them again. Sometimes the best thing to have is tollerance....I know this advice is nothing spectacular but I do hope that it helps a litte and that you can smile again. Your a wonderful person and I know that there are many friends on here that feel the same way. Please try to remember that no matter how bad it gets, you always have Eric and Eddie and all of us here!! WE love you to pieces girlie!! Stay strong and if it gets really bad....punch a pillow, it helps!!!! LOL!!!

crystalmooon - Friday, 27 Nov
Oh Kathy, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Like someone else already said, it sucks coming in second place - wheather you're a baby or a grown woman. It would be nice if our mothers were the same people who kissed our owies and tucked us safe into bed when we were small, huh? I think putting Eric into daycare is a good idea; not only will he learn to play with other kids well, it'll also help prepare him for school (kids who go to daycare seem to have an easier time adapting to school). I wish I could write you a huge pep talk right here and now and have you feel better about the whole situation... sadly, that's not going to work. Just know that you are a strong woman and a wonderful mother. You will do what is right for you and your family (Eric and Eddie)... and if anyone questions you or tries to make you feel bad about you tell them that your family comes first and you won't let them be treated as second best. I wish we were closer - I'd treat you to a coffee and something sinfully sweet and we could bitch about our families. ((huggs)) Take care hun! ~Tina xo

charlihadley - Thursday, 26 Nov
sometimes you got to know when to walk away...do it quietly as not to draw attention to your self...get a day care for your son...or someone to come to the house to watch him...you don't have to answer your phone...you don't have to go to their house...don't subject your self...let your mom seek you out...let her do w/o her kickiing stone for awhile...my mother had to do this w/her in-laws...after so much hurt she quietly walked away & made her self unavailble to them & their abuse...she got stronger...she healed...some times what we get in life is just what we subject ourselfs to...sounds like you have a good supportive hubby...when they begin to question...just reply...we have been really busy lately...get involved w/your hubby & child...find things to do & go together...strengthen you relationship...you will find it's okay to do w/o all the drama...find the peace within good luck to you!!

Debra - Thursday, 26 Nov
Kathy, does your mom know how you are feeling? I know you said you tried to talk to her- but was that with just you and her? or with your husband there as well? Does she know you are so frustrated that you want to leave the city/ cut them off from Eric?So let me get this straight- your brother is younger or older than you? and there are only the two of you in your family? and your mom and dad are together?has she always favored your brother over you?I read this and I think that it sounds like your mom has been OVER taking care of your brother for years- for some reason. And the helicopter parenting style has produced a child that refuses to grow up, face his responsibilities and act like a man. Does your brother know what kind of man he is? is he proud to be this person? what are his plans for his life when your mom and dad pass on? because the hand outs will stop at some point and he will have to fend for his own. It sounds like your mom and dad are the one with the problem on their hands- one of their own creation. Maybe they too are unhappy with the way things have ended up and are frustrated. Maybe your brother is taking advantage of them and they feel that they can't get out of it. Who knows, maybe he's even threatening them with something (aka elder abuse). I wouldn't even want to say it , but on a venue like this, the idea has to come out. I'm from a very normal, stable family. I have a sister and 2 brothers. We grew up well loved and cared for, but we knew that anything we wanted, we had to find a way to get it. There were no handouts. As a result, all of us are hard working and have a straight head on our shoulders. One thing about the fall that Eric had- I can see why you are upset. I think I too would be upset in the same circumstance. However- if you take away the history between you and your brother and just were to look at the situation- if Eric fell and scratched himself- you would comfort him and it would be over. The same reaction should have been given to your neice- but it wasn't. You are right, kids fall all the time and its normal and it should be brushed off. BUT it sounds like your mom is afraid that if she didn't make a big stink over julia's fall, then she might somehow loose access to her. As what happened the first time. It doesn't sound like she knows that her reaction to your niece is causing you to loose faith in her ability to be a proper care taker. I have to suggest that you guys go and do something together. Go get pedicures, go out for lunch and have a mom and daughter heart-to-heart. You may find out that she feels as equally helpless as you- she got herself into this situation. If she doesn't recognize that what she's doing to your brother is anything but helpful. then she's a lost cause. She'll (very unlikely) never realize that the parenting that she's giving her adult son is anything but helpful and is, in fact, encouraging him to be lazier and lazier. He needs to grow up, cut the cord, be a man and start taking care of what is his- his ex, his daughter and start being a better father. Right now, he's on the road to dead beat dad. Sad.Let me know if there is anything I can say or do. :) debra

lilysmomma - Thursday, 26 Nov
Im so sorry your having such a hard time. I am going though some stuff with my mans parents too and I understand how frustrating it can be. And I also have a sibiling who is way more spoiled then me so I completely understand that aspect, But I bet your a fantastic mother and now you can learn from your mother, how not to treat two different children. This ex of your bros sounds like a B!*^$.I hope everything starts to work out better and I hope your moms sees how hard it can be on the kids to play favourites. No one likes to be in second place. Good Luckxox and you can always vent to me!

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