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21-9-2009 - sleep advice for 12 month old

My mood while writing this blog: Tired and unsure

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I need some advice ladies. Today Tanner went in for his 12 month checkup. He has still not been sleeping through the night- (waking 1-3x/night) so of course this was discussed. The Dr suggested that he have NO naps at all during the day, make his bedtime an hour later, and let him cry it out at night. (I think he has been waking due to some separation anxiety bc with a little rocking or holding he usually goes back to sleep) He had pretty much weaned himself to one nap a day anyway, and would usually sleep from 8:30 pm to 6:30am (but waking 1-3x throughout the night) How much are your Lo's napping and sleeping? Are they waking at night- and if so how do you handle it? Do you think cutting all naps is a bit extreme? To me cutting all naps seems like its not enough sleep for a 12 month old. My poor little guy was absolutely miserable tonight bc he was totally exhausted-he didn't even want to eat dinner- not even take a bottle!!!! This just doesn't seem right to me- any advice/opinions are welcome. Thanks and sorry this is so long!

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11 Comments on sleep advice for 12 month old


ExpectingAThirdMiracle - Wednesday, 23 Sep
My son is almost 2, he slept through the night by 2 months old. Then when he turned 15 months he started waking up alot at night or not wanting to go to bed. He still does not go to bed well. I'll put him down at 8:30pm and he will cry wanting up within an hour. Sometimes I have to let him cry it out , but I try to do stuff with him like run around and chase me, anything to get him worn out LOL . Someone told me to cut his nap out, I tried it and he would get so tired by 4-5 pm, and very cranky and he would fall asleep then still not go to bed. They need their naps. Try playtime before bed, get em all tuckered out, that's the only thing that sometimes works for me. It's hard I know, especially now that I have my little girl, trying to get him to bed and stay there and her crying every few hours!

mothermiracle3 - Tuesday, 22 Sep
awww...I dont have a 12mo old so I feel like I shouldnt even be commenting but I do have experience with my nieces and my nephew....with my niece my sister tried the Ferber method which means she basically put her in her crib wide awake gave her a pacifier and closed the door behind her..lol.....she's 15 yrs old today and no she doesnt feel neglected or anything like that, that people are scared of, she's perfectly fine..lol.....but yea...I use the Ferber method with my nephew....I simply have stopped all the rocking and stuff and let him cry himself to sleep ONLY if I know for a fact he's actually sleepy....I dont see anything wrong with it and I plan on using it for my LO if I have to

kickboxerbaby - Tuesday, 22 Sep
Taking away naps completely can actually cause worse sleeping issues because when they do wake in the middle of the night their little bodies think its time to get up. Also it makes them extremely moody and cranky during the day. At 12 months they need that nap. He's much to young to not have a nap. It's recommended that children nap up through age 4 and continue to have atleast a 45 min rest time till age 6. One thing that I was told helps is making sure they go to bed with a full tummy. Also what is your bed time ruitine. Sometimes it could be something as simple as just re-reading his story. With your first it's hard to let them cry but sometimes that 's what we need to do. To be honest I really don't like your doctors opinion. I had issues with my oldest and she really didn't sleep completely through the night until she was 18 months to 2 years. She just needed to be reminded that I was there and she was safe and would go right back to sleep. She is now 7 and goes to bed every night at 8 and wakes at 7 am. I know it makes for a much longer day for you but trust me it does get better.

Cailet - Tuesday, 22 Sep
Is he eating enough during the day? One thing our doctor mentioned was that if they sleep through the night then you know they are getting enough food during the day (my question was a food question). We put Larkyn down around 8:30 and she falls asleep on her own. She wakes up between 7-8am. Sometimes she will cry out at night but we don't go in there and she falls back asleep. RARELY she keeps crying and we go and lay her back down and give her the paci, but we never pick her up. Larkyn usually only takes one nap now but sometimes she gets tired for a 2nd. Supernanny (my older kids love that show) always says to put them back to bed but not to give them hugs or talk to them. I could see cutting out his afternoon nap if he takes one, but if he's really tired you'll both need his naptime during the day! I'd try letting him cry it out at night before cutting out naps completely. But if that doesn't work then it won't hurt to try no naps for a few days and see what happens. Just remember that whatever you try, try it for a few days before giving up.

Jamiee - Tuesday, 22 Sep
I would try letting him cry it out before making him so exhausted by cutting out naps. The more exhausted they are I've found the harder it is to get him to sleep. It seems like the problem your LO is having is not being not tired enough, but not being able to soothe himself to sleep. When we travel and sleep in the same room as my son, we realize he wakes up a lot throughout the night but talks to himself or rolls around and ends up putting himself back to sleep. Once your son learns that you will be free! Try letting him cry for a set amount of time then go in there but dont pick him up. We always had the 10 minute rule and my son hardly ever reached it. You may need longer though if he is used to you coming in. Good luck!! You are technically weaning him from yourself so it will definitely take time. Just try not to get frustrated and it will be normal to cry yourself!!

wietmanfamily - Tuesday, 22 Sep
i think no naps would be hard but letting him cry himself to sleep works for us! as long as he is fed and no temp and dry i let my daughter cry! she has slept thru the night since 3 months with 2 naps....maybe i got kucky!

lauraplusone - Tuesday, 22 Sep
my little man (13mos) naps twice a day, and sleeps all night. i agree with what other people have said - sleep does promote sleep, and i wouldnt take the advice of your doc saying to cut naps out. if a bub needs a nap, they need a nap - cutting them out wont make them sleep more at night, unless they have changed their OWN routine by THEMSELVES, not from outside force! one good point ure dr did make, is the CIO method. i know its harsh, and makes for a really crappy few nights sleep - but i swear by the method, as i have had my son Cooper sleeping thru since 6weeks old =) does your son use a dummy/pacifier? anytime Cooper wakes in the night, i just pop the dummy back in - NEVER do i offer a bottle or have the need to rock him back to sleep. his routine is; 8am - 10am breakfast and play. nap between 10-12pm, 12pm-3pm playtime and lunch. 3-6pm nap time, and 6pm-8pm dinner and bath time, and sleep from 8pm-8am =) dont know if this helps but good luck!

LGK616 - Tuesday, 22 Sep
Your dr should know that sleep promotes sleep! And by not allowing him to sleep during the day, makes him cranky and after all the stimulation he receives during the day, exhausted! Don't cut out his naps - I would have challenged the dr on that one. My daughter is 11 months old and she has never slept more than 3 hours at a time during the night. She's teething and wakes up every 1 to 1 1/2 hours at night and is looking for me. She co-sleeps with me and we are still breastfeeding - she has never ever taken a soother once. So, I am her soother. She has nipped me a few times however. As far as I'm concerned, my daughter trusts me and she knows if she needs me, by calling for me either through crying or through her babble that she is using, mummy will come. I refuse to let her CIO as I and no one else is sure if she will lose any confidence in me since I will no longer respond to her the way I used to. There are no real studies that provide proof babies don't lose confidence during CIO methods. Isabella wakes up anywhere between 8am and 9am. She has breakfast, plays and naps 3 hours after waking for 1 hour. After her 1 hour nap, she wakes, plays a bit, has lunch then plays again for another 4 hours and will nap for about 2 hours at this point. She has a bath between 7pm and 8pm, has cereal and is sleeping between 10pm and 11pm. She will sleep for 3 hours at this point and then will wake up looking for me - her soother meaning the breast. I am currently reading "the no cry sleep solution" and will follow this method once her top teeth have broken through - they are on the brink and so ready! Anyway...I suggest reading the "no cry sleep solution" and you be the judge. But, I would definitely not cut out your little one's naps!! Good luck!! xox

deeyore486 - Monday, 21 Sep
Let that poor boy sleep during the day! When a child is beyond exhausted, they sleep worse and wake more during the night! Sounds like your dr is giving you a recipe for disaster! What you are describing is exactly what my 19mo old was doing starting at the 15mo mark. Usually some cuddling, or a drink of water would get him back to sleep, and we don't CIO mostly because I can't listen to my boys cry for that long! When we brought this up with our ped, she suggested making sure that he had something to eat before bed to make sure that it wasn't hunger that was waking him up. We started giving him oatmeal right before going to bed. It helped some, but he was still getting up. We started giving him a calcium supplement to see if it was growing pains and that got him sleeping even longer and better through the night. (Before we did this, you could watch his legs jumping while he slept.) Combining the oatmeal the calcium and then just directing him right back to bed has us only getting up maybe once in the night now, and usually at 5:00, so he is sleeping from 8-5 before getting up. He also just takes one nap during the day that lasts anywhere from 2 to 3 hours long.

michaelxbaby - Monday, 21 Sep
My son takes 2 naps....we wake up at 7am and he lays back down for about 2 hrs around 10am. Then about 3pm he wants to lay back down for like 30 min....he gose to bed about 8:30 pm and sleep all the way till 7am the next day infact he would sleep longer but i wake him up....sometimes maybe once a week he will wake up at 2am wanting to play haha. i just pick him up and hold him for a min and tell him its night night time and lay him back down. he then will cry and i will so its ok night night i love you and leave the room....about 5-10 min later he is alseep again...i just let him cry it out. now if he is screaming bloody murder for more then 5-10 min i will give him his sippy cup with some milk and hold him then when he finishes his milk i lay him back down and he usually goes right to sleep...

munchkinsmommie - Monday, 21 Sep
I just left a post on 12 months page. I think he needs naps during the day. If Madison misses naps she is a cranky lil girl. I read the No Cry Sleep Solution book by Elizabeth Pantley. I could not do the cry it out method. Put I have learned what is best for one baby is not the best for another. So whatever works for you is what works for you. Is he just waking up for feeds, to play, to be held?