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28-9-2009 - It's the night before my c-sec

My mood while writing this blog: excited/unsure

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Tomorrow is my scheduled c/s. I spent my last day as a family of 3 today with my husband and our 12 month old son. We went to the playground, had ice cream, I got a relaxing spa pedicure, and hubby surprised me with a beautiful new watch. We topped off the evening with a nice dinner out. I had a wonderful day today, but now I am in tears. :(

While I am very excited to be having our little girl tomorrow, I can't help but feel guilty.....I feel like I am being unfair to my son. I know he's 12 months old now, but he is still a baby- my baby!! It took me 4 pregnancies just to have him, and he has brought us soooo much joy and happiness. And now I feel like I may be slighting him in some way. Is this normal to feel this way with the 2nd baby? Am I feeling this bc they will be so close in age? I've been crying on and off all day, and now as the night comes to an end it's getting worse. I feel like I'm being a bad mother to him somehow. Has anyone else gone through this and felt this way? I'm afraid I will be bawling my eyes out when we get to the hospital tomorrow and overshadowing my happiness for our daughter....

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13 Comments on It's the night before my c-sec


graciesmomma - Tuesday, 29 Sep
Hi Kim. I hope all is going well! You know, I think that's why I waited so long (nine years) to have a second child--I couldn't imagine having more love to give to another child, and I wanted to enjoy her "babyness" as long as possible. Having said that, though, so many friends of mine who have them close together as you are say that it's sooooo easy to love them both equally. Not one of them ever regretted having them close together. Good luck to you, and can't wait to see pics of the little girl!

MSDMARIE - Tuesday, 29 Sep
Don't be down...this is a joyous town..it is def. normal for you to feel this way..my son and daughter are 22 months apart and i felt like that..after i had my son i said i ddn't want anymore kids cus i loved him soo much i jus wanted it to be me and him and i would spoil him rotten...but when i got pregnant with my daughter, i had those same feelings for them both..a mother's love is unlimited...we have so much love to share. just keep him involved in baby sister's life..throw that word big brother around..and make time for just you and him after baby comes...trust when that baby comes you won't feel bad..ur heart just gets bigger

Lovely3 - Tuesday, 29 Sep
I felt the sameway when I had my little girl, my son was like 18 months old. . .all my worries and all my tears turned out to be pointless because everything worked out just fine and now Blake and Emily have such an incredible bond, I wouldn't change a thing. These two little ones will become best friends. . .you will be fine.

ulala86 - Tuesday, 29 Sep
Oh hunnie. I think its normal. one of my girlfiends just had her second baby and she was telling me the same thing. and now that i think about it i would feel like ame way. u feel like ur pushing away ur son but really ur giving me a gift! A SISSY! :) dont worry and i think everything will be fine! udpate up with pic!!!!

christinesc - Tuesday, 29 Sep
I don't think his age has anything to do with it. My daughter is 5 and a half and I shed a few tears yesterday. I feel the same way like I am slighting her in some way. I've read this is COMPLETYELY normal!! She's excited about the baby and I feel like a bad mother. Go figure. It must be hormones. We'll be okay.On another note...OMG!!! You're having a baby today. I hope for you a beautiful delivery and speedy recovery. Take care of you and that new little one. Can't wait to hear all about it!

Cailet - Tuesday, 29 Sep
*hugs* It will be OK. My first two were 17 months apart and it worked out really well. She wasn't old enough to know that she should be jealous of the new baby and she was young enough to be OK staying at home all the time while the baby was little. You're NOT a bad mother and he's going to love having a little sister!

claire louise - Tuesday, 29 Sep
Aww dont worry hun I felt the same wen i had my lit girl and there is a 3yr age gap, I think all mummys feel this way. But it will pass your gonna be a mummy to 2 lovely children wow u should be full of joy and be very proud. Good luck for 2moro, keep us updated.xx

saawmummy - Monday, 28 Sep
My c-section is tomorrow as well but because of the time difference you are the day before!!!! I bet as soon as you meet your little girl you will have mountain of love to go around that includes everyone and having a little sister will just make your son happy and excited. My brother and I have 18 months between us and even now when we are adults we are close. He stands up for me as I do for him. I bet they will grow up the best of friends!Good luck with your c-section!!! I have about 18 hours to go...not counting or anything!!!!Thinking of you!

ExpectingAThirdMiracle - Monday, 28 Sep
Awwww! I felt the same way. My son is almost 2, but he is still my baby. I worried that I would be cheating him out of attention when my daughter came. But now that she is here it has been wonderful . He will sit with me while I feed her and help me pat her back when burping her, it is very cute. When she is asleep me and him have our time to play and watch cartoons, or whatever. Don't worry too much, it will be fine, and you will adjust. It is normal to worry like that ! It's been 2 weeks since my little girl was born and alex just loves her. Good luck with the c-sec, can't wait to see pics!

mumdibs - Monday, 28 Sep
i felt the same way when i was pregnant with my second. my girls are only 16 mos apart so i know exactly what you are feeling. i had this guilt trip the whole time i even told my husband i didnt want the new baby because i was taking away from my other little girl. then then day tatum came to the hospital to see her new sister i lost it and got so depressed because i said i didnt want the new baby. now we are happy and expecting our third and the first two are mamas girls and are so close it makes me want to cry sometimes. you are so not a bad mother.... you will see how much their demands are different you just need to manage your time... it will be hard for a few weeks but then when baby settles into a routine you and your son will be as good as new. good luck with your c/s tomorrow you and your family are in my prayers!

jwaters - Monday, 28 Sep
Good luck Kim and try not to worry too much! :)

lila2cute:-) - Monday, 28 Sep
~I just read your blog.... Please try not to worrie, as I see it everything will turn out fine. Try to think of what a blessing your son has been and how much more of a blessing it will be to see your son grow up with his little sister. Me and my sister were really close in age and I can't remember her ever not being in my life nor can I imagain her not in my life. She is a blessing and I love her so much. You are a wonerful mother for feeling this way and its compleately normal to worrie and wonder.... but enjoy tomorrow and don't worrie everything will be fine :-) Good luck and congrads on the little bundle of joy!

kickboxerbaby - Monday, 28 Sep
It's ok. We all felt that way going from one to two. You are not alone. But let me tell you it is ok. Your son will not feel left out. If anything he will feel closer to both you and his sister. They will have an unbreakable bond. You are a wonderful mom already. You have enough love for both of them. They are your miracles and your blessings and together they will fill your life with so much joy and love. Enjoy tomorrow. It is a wonderful gift.