09-8-2008 - Spoke to the Daddy Thursday

My mood while writing this blog: indifferent

I spoke to the father thursday night. It was the first time we spoke outside of work since late May. We work on the same team at work so i see him every day, Its just only work conversation. Plus, he still feels the same way. He still wants to wait till the baby is born before supporting me as a father to be. He said he thinks about our situation all the time. He keeps it to himself. I told him it was a girl. He said "So I could have a daddys girl?" , in excitement. Then two seconds later he contiues talking about waiting still. I told him i miss his friendship and he isnt acting like true friend. He totally changed with. He has been reserved lately. Before all this we had a really good connections.. FRIENDSHIP connection. That night.... when we made Mykah .. it just sort of happend. Its weird. I will never regret that night!

He keeps on saying how he never expected to have a kid out of wedlock. And how its hard to believe he is the father considering his chances. I dont rub it in the he is.. I'll just wait. I cannot wait to see the look on his face. Anyway, he said he would try to be supportive as a friend. He could tell that I wasnt impressed. I know hes trying. It doenst matter anyway. I know the truth. He will just have to deal with not being present at her birth and feeling her move and kick. I say his loss.

We spoke for 2 hours. We are both night owls so I called him out the blue at 2 am. I was emailing him on mypsace after months of not talking about the baby. I started to think that we had a lot to talk about and i missed talking to him, so i called him. We talked till 4 and it was nice. Even though he doesnt want to put his name down as the father. I cant hold it against him. I totally understand 75% of why he is doing this... the not being there thing. Friends are important to me. I told him that im not looking for the father.. I already know who that is. Time will answer all the unanswered questions for him. I just care about our friendship. He understood. We'll see if anything changes.