14-10-2009 - I hate paranoia!!

My mood while writing this blog: happy and a little tired

Ok, so I know I'm not the only one who's constantly paranoid about every single thing my body does, but it's starting to drive me crazy already! This whole 'feeling aroused and wet all the time' thing is starting to get on my nerves, mostly because I keep thinking 'is it just discharge or is it blood?' so I of course have to go to the toilet to check. And why are my hormones screwing with my moods really bad already? I think it's driving me nuts more than Michael, my moods go from content to pissed off to super happy in a matter of seconds. Still, I am thankful for these things, it's better than having no symptoms at all, right? I'm feeling bloated a lot today, and bought beef jerkey and bacon while at the shops earlier, yum.

Ok, so I'm excited but freaking out about my appointment tomorrow. I'm hoping my doctor will give me a referral to get an ultrasound when I ask her to, and when she does I will have to go make that appointment myself. I will also get my referral to get a blood test given to me tomorrow, however I have to work out when I'm going to get my blood test because they advise no driving directly afterwards so you get no bruising around the area, but Michael works the only days I'll be able to get it done so he can't take me, my parents don't know yet so neither of them can take me, his mum is a nervous driver so I can't ask her to take me, and the very few of my friends that have their licences work so none of them can come with me. I'm thinking just maybe I'm gonna have to tell my parents, it's gonna be a bit hard otherwise. I don't know, maybe if I borrow my mum's car or our spare car so that I can drive an automatic home rather than a manual, maybe there'll be less chance I'll get bruising...I dunno.

One of my friend's knows now...she worked it out for herself when I told her this 'issue' (I'm sure most of you know what I'm talking about) was no longer bothering me on Sunday, and on Monday I mentioned to her how I can't be bothered getting a dirt bike anymore.. She put them together and asked me if I was pregnant, and I couldn't deny it. She's happy for me, and that makes me happy. It makes me love her little boy more too, knowing that I'll soon have my own and they can have play dates.

I think that's about all I have to say for now. I just hate how paranoid I am, I keep thinking about buying another test every time I'm out (doesn't help that I work in a supermarket) just to make sure those other 2 tests weren't lying to me and all that. I will update tomorrow after I get home from work (I have my doctors appointment, then maybe an hour to myself if I'm lucky, then work for 4 hours).