| LIZ82 | |
 | Age: 26 young Country: us Province/region: cook City: Chicago Partner: for life the man that i love Children: Yes, 6 Pregnant: No Occupation: stay at home mom and loving it |
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17 Comments on please help need any advice
mommyoftoo - Saturday, 13 Sep
I am so sorry chickies I am Kinda haveing that problem my self my husband dont love me no more and now wants a divorce.. just please dont let your Kids go and love then with all u are.. all i can say is just do what u can do to make sure your bills are all paid and if he wants to leave try to make it work and if he aint happy atleast make him visit with the kids..
rloadholt - Monday, 1 Sep
Girl ley him go... he is cheating on you and is deciding on if he wanna stay with you and be a playa or if he wanna really leave you... on top of that he tring to make you feel like it your fult... it's not ok and let him go. you are presious dont let any man i dont care who he is treat you like you are nothing ok much luv girl take care u and your kids...
loulou - Sunday, 31 Aug
I'll pray that all works out for you honey.
Love Loux
stacyandmichaelsbaby - Sunday, 31 Aug
Girl, I left my husband with 5 small kids.....In some ways it was worth it in other ways not so much.....we have been in custody battles for the last 8 years and believe me when your hubby realizes the child support he would pay he will be changing his mind quick. It was worth it because my husband was abusive but the bad thing was after we divorced it was harder to keep him from abusing the kids. We just went to court last week and his own mom came to court to testify against him. But he is one of these professional liars etc........the good thing is I am married to a WONDERFUL man now and we just had Lennon. Hopefully he is just going through a thing and you guys have had a big strain by having so many children in a short period of time (been there done that lol) but if he is in any way emotionally abusive or otherwise it might be worth it to divorce him.......I will pray for you.........
leca - Saturday, 30 Aug
hey girl i no i you haven't heard from me in a while , i think there is something else going on that has his attention right now! he needs to get his act together before it is to late ya noi! i'm not saying leave him cuz U CAN'T fall out of love so fast, and don't be stupid either be strong and smart for your babies cuz kids no when mommie is sad ask god to guide you and help u and he will take care~
margysd - Saturday, 30 Aug
Hey Liz,
Thanks for sharing your story. I was wondering if it would be possible to have a series of conversations with your husband to get to the bottom of this. My husband is not as verbal as I am, and much of the time when something is on my husband’s mind I really have to pull it out of him. Men and women communicate so differently. I hope that the two of you find your way back to each other. I know that you really love each other.
Hey Liz,
Thanks for sharing your story. I was wondering if it would be possible to have a series of conversations with your husband to get to the bottom of this. My husband is not as verbal as I am, and much of the time when something is on my husband’s mind I really have to pull it out of him. Men and women communicate so differently. I hope that the two of you find your way back to each other. I know that you really love each other.
chickster - Saturday, 30 Aug
Hey precious mummy,
From my experience I htink you need ot hink you and the kids. I believe if you put up some boundaries with him and tell him you're not going to play games, and that after he hurt you that need some time apart. He may realise what he has and get a huge wake up call, or he may be ungratefula nd walk wawy, but a least you won' tbe living a lie. If he's just playing games then the only way he's going to stop is if you draw the line. You have children to take care of and don't need his childish and selfish behaivour. If he's not playing games and this is how he feels, then it's better to deal with it now than to drag it out. Get support from a good friend and your family.
Trust in God, He is the only reliable one!!
Message anytime....much love- Cat
WaitingOnGod - Saturday, 30 Aug
Hi there. There aren't any words to describe how my heart goes out to you at this time. I will be praying for you, your husband and those beautiful and precious children. Seems as though he's going through some things that he feel that he can't share with you. Men feel at times like they have somehow failed at being good husbands and fathers, so they will withdraw, say things they don't necessarily mean and blame everyone around them. Pray for him and ask God to make provision for you in this situation. No matter what happens, know that God loves you, your children love you and that you have friends on this website that love you as well. If you need me, I'm just a message or an email away. Praying for you, hang in there.
molly2416 - Friday, 29 Aug
I wish I knew what to say but I don't I know that your strong and you know him best and you know your kids. I'm so sorry that he can't see what a treasure he has in those kids. They are just beautiful and don't deserve a dad that just wake's up and goes well that was nice I'm done now. I hope that everything works out for the best even if it doesn't feel like it at first.
mcbender3 - Friday, 29 Aug
do you guys live together or seperately. I know when im under stress i say nasty things to my husband klike i am going to leave him but i kno i can't because my kids need him and i don't have any money to support my kids by myself.... is he under stress?? or have you both been this way for a while?
jesslf - Friday, 29 Aug
Aww Sweetie I'm sorry to hear your having problems w/ your hubby. I know you want to do what's best for your kids. Just do what you think is best and try to remain calm. Maybe he's just freaking out about everything. I truely hope the 2 of you can work it out. Good luck ! (((((((BIG HUGS))))))
debra haynes - Friday, 29 Aug
oh hun i'm so sorry to see what you're going through and no one deserves to be treated like that especially his wife and the mother of his kids,men only act like that when there are cheating,sorry to say but my sister went through the same thing,just sit and talk with him and find out what is really going on because your feelings and the kids feelings shouldn't be hurt like that,i hope you guys can work through your problems and i will keep you in my prayers.
FirstTimeMommyR - Friday, 29 Aug
I'm so sorry that you're going through this :( You're in my prayers. I hope it works out one way or another....
ZMiracleBoy - Friday, 29 Aug
Oh Girl! This is another IM conversation! :)
In the meantime, you KNOW I am here for you..... you KNOW you have support... and you KNOW what a great wife, mom and person you are!
You keep your head HIGH and love those babies today!
They need their momma right now more than ever and I KNOW you will do a good job!
We will talk soon! I promise!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
((hugs))
AmandaLovesRichardBakerSince2004 - Friday, 29 Aug
Aww, Im so sorry to hear about all of this. It sound's to me that he is begin left out on something that he is not telling you, I was in something like this where I thought my Husband was cheating on me & I keept asking him about it and he would say no im not, Well I had the nerves to get on his screename and see what he was doing well I had found alot of letter's to other girl's sayin he wanted Sex from 'em and I kept confronting him about and he kept dening it. So Here is what I did. I sat him down I made him listen to me about how I felt all the time while he was at work. I told him that I need time to myself away from the kid's while you are always at work. And I told him about the letter's I found I made him talk to me about how he was felling. Come to find out he was felling Lonely & Left Out so every Night now I get in his arm's, Talk to him,Kiss him and hug him until one of us fall's asleep. Now on your hand's You have 6 Beautiful Childern and for some odd reason your husband is not all here right now. When he come's home make him Sit Down and talk to you just to see what is bottherin him. Ask him if there is another women in his life that is making him act like this. You Do not need to be in something like this because felling's are something not to mess with. You and your kid's need alot of Love from you husband.I mean your still kinda yound your 26yrs old I know where your coming from im still kinda young too Im only 22 and I only been married for 4 yr's and my Husband & I been threw alot from the 1st day we meet until the day we got married. Some Marriage's can be worked out and some can not, & Some can use canceling and sometime's that don't even work. But I will pray for you and for your husband to work thing's out 'cause thouse babies need their daddy.
preggiebelly - Friday, 29 Aug
okay... I'm confused too. He's not ready to be a husband and a daddy and he decided this after 5 years of marriage and raising 6 kids?
How do you just wake up one morning and decide that you don't want to have any responsibilities anymore? What if you just left your children? Would he accept that?
You poor thing..... I'm so sorry that you are facing this. And it seems that with 6 little ones... you have plenty on your plate. You need a supportive husband more than any other 26 year old I know.
He needs to make a decision.... does he want to dessert his family & his responsibilities or does he want to be a man and take care of his family? He needs to make up his mind so that you're not left alone with 6 babies on an emotional roller coaster.
Keep in touch and let me know how things progress. Hopefully he'll get his head on straight here before too long and come to his senses. I can't believe he's doing this to you!
mrs mommy - Friday, 29 Aug
His behavior... is sooo weird. I don't think its about *you* at all. Something is going on with HIM. My husband was like that right before we had our first, true he was nervous of being a dad, but he was also using drugs... is that a possibility? Or maybe stress at work? Something is triggering this attitude, whether its drugs, work, or maybe a mid life crisis at a young age... when this happened to me, I told him I was here for him with anything he needed, he just had to be truthful with what's going on. Sure enough, he told me, and I helped clean him up and now he's perfect,(err not perfect.. He's a typical man, but doesn't act that way anymore) and sober.. But yeah, same attitude, same fight, everything you're going through, we did, as mad as I was, and how much I couldn't stand looking at him, the Lord kept telling me to be there for him.. If telling your husband you're here for him and want to know what's up doesn't work, and counseling isn't an option, then that's his mess. Obviously he's not telling you something, and you and the children don't need that.. Is there a chance you could tell the kids that daddy went away for a buisness trip, so they don't wait by the window anymore, or know that mommy and daddy are fighting..???
| 29-8-2008 - please help need any advice |  My mood while writing this blog:confused and so hurt |
i wanted to write this down and get this off my chest and ask you ladies for any advice you can hand me .
ME AND MY HUSBAND HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR ABOUT 5 AND HALF YEARS AND LATLEY HE HAS BEEN DRIFTING AWAY MORE AND MORE EACH DAY . WELL YESTERDAY IT CAME TO A END HE KEPT TELLING ME ONE SECOUND HE WANTED TO BE WITH ME AND THEN THE NEXT HE DIDNT . THIS IS ALL WITH IN ONE DAY . HE SAID ALOT OF HURTFUL THINGS TO ME AND THEN SAID I AM COMING TO PICK UP MY THINGS AT SO AND SO TIME . SO I WAS WAITING FOR HIM TO COME FOR HIS THINGS AND THEN THE TIME ROLLED AROUND AND HE CALLS ME IF YOU WANT TO WORK THIS OUT I AM WILLING . SO I WAS LIKE WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT . HE TOLD ME HE WAS COMING OVER HERE SO WE COULD TALK . SO A HOUR PAST BY AND STILL HE WASNT HERE SO I CALLED AND THEN HE TELLS ME NO I DONT WANT TO BE WITH YOU I AM DONE ????? I HAVE BEEN SO HURT BY THE WAY HE HAS BEEN TREATING ME I TOLD HIM TO COME AND GET HIS THINGS BECAUSE I WAS PACKING IT UP . I DIDNT WANT FOR HIM TO KEEP HURTING ME . AS IF I WASNT ANYTHING LIKE MY FEELINGS DIDNT MATTER . THEN HE TELLS ME GIVE ME A FEW DAYS TO THINK I WOULDNT MIND THAT AT ALL BUT SINCE HE HAS BEEN BOUCING MY FEELINGS ALL OVER THE PLACE I COULDNT DO IT ANYMORE . I LOVE MY HUSBAND AND WANT TO WORK THIS OUT BUT HE HAS TO WANT THE SAME AND RIGHT NOW I DONT THINK HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING . I FEEL SO BAD THAT THE KIDS ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS MESS . I DONT KNOW HOW I CAN FIX THIS . LAST NIGHT MY 4 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER FELL ASLEEP BY THE WINDOW WAITING FOR HER DADDY THAT JUST BROKE MY HEART
=[
HOW CAN HE DO THIS TO THEM MOST OF ALL . I THINK RIGHT NOW HE IS BEING SELFISH BECAUSE HE IS ONLY THINKING ABOUT HIM SELF . HE TOLD ME HE WASNT READY TO BE A DAD AND A HUSBAND BUT I WOULD SAY ITS TO LATE FOR THAT . WHEN YOU GET MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS THATS SOMETHING THAT SHOLD BE FOR LIFE NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN JUST TOSS AWAY . MY HEART IS TELLING TRY TO MAKE THIS WORK BECAUSE I LOVE HIM DREALY AND SO DO HIS KIDS BUT THEN WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT I AM LIKE I CANT KEEP DOING THIS TO ME OR THE KIDS . I KNOW I CAN ONLY BE IN CONTROL OF WHAT I CAN DO NOT HIM .
ANY ADVICE WOULD BE HELPFUL
( ON A GOOD NOTE )
THE KIDS ARE DOING GOOD AND I COULDNT ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE .
17 Comments on please help need any advice
mommyoftoo - Saturday, 13 Sep
I am so sorry chickies I am Kinda haveing that problem my self my husband dont love me no more and now wants a divorce.. just please dont let your Kids go and love then with all u are.. all i can say is just do what u can do to make sure your bills are all paid and if he wants to leave try to make it work and if he aint happy atleast make him visit with the kids..
rloadholt - Monday, 1 Sep
Girl ley him go... he is cheating on you and is deciding on if he wanna stay with you and be a playa or if he wanna really leave you... on top of that he tring to make you feel like it your fult... it's not ok and let him go. you are presious dont let any man i dont care who he is treat you like you are nothing ok much luv girl take care u and your kids...
loulou - Sunday, 31 Aug
I'll pray that all works out for you honey.
Love Loux
stacyandmichaelsbaby - Sunday, 31 Aug
Girl, I left my husband with 5 small kids.....In some ways it was worth it in other ways not so much.....we have been in custody battles for the last 8 years and believe me when your hubby realizes the child support he would pay he will be changing his mind quick. It was worth it because my husband was abusive but the bad thing was after we divorced it was harder to keep him from abusing the kids. We just went to court last week and his own mom came to court to testify against him. But he is one of these professional liars etc........the good thing is I am married to a WONDERFUL man now and we just had Lennon. Hopefully he is just going through a thing and you guys have had a big strain by having so many children in a short period of time (been there done that lol) but if he is in any way emotionally abusive or otherwise it might be worth it to divorce him.......I will pray for you.........
leca - Saturday, 30 Aug
hey girl i no i you haven't heard from me in a while , i think there is something else going on that has his attention right now! he needs to get his act together before it is to late ya noi! i'm not saying leave him cuz U CAN'T fall out of love so fast, and don't be stupid either be strong and smart for your babies cuz kids no when mommie is sad ask god to guide you and help u and he will take care~
margysd - Saturday, 30 Aug
Hey Liz,
Thanks for sharing your story. I was wondering if it would be possible to have a series of conversations with your husband to get to the bottom of this. My husband is not as verbal as I am, and much of the time when something is on my husband’s mind I really have to pull it out of him. Men and women communicate so differently. I hope that the two of you find your way back to each other. I know that you really love each other.
Hey Liz,
Thanks for sharing your story. I was wondering if it would be possible to have a series of conversations with your husband to get to the bottom of this. My husband is not as verbal as I am, and much of the time when something is on my husband’s mind I really have to pull it out of him. Men and women communicate so differently. I hope that the two of you find your way back to each other. I know that you really love each other.
chickster - Saturday, 30 Aug
Hey precious mummy,
From my experience I htink you need ot hink you and the kids. I believe if you put up some boundaries with him and tell him you're not going to play games, and that after he hurt you that need some time apart. He may realise what he has and get a huge wake up call, or he may be ungratefula nd walk wawy, but a least you won' tbe living a lie. If he's just playing games then the only way he's going to stop is if you draw the line. You have children to take care of and don't need his childish and selfish behaivour. If he's not playing games and this is how he feels, then it's better to deal with it now than to drag it out. Get support from a good friend and your family.
Trust in God, He is the only reliable one!!
Message anytime....much love- Cat
WaitingOnGod - Saturday, 30 Aug
Hi there. There aren't any words to describe how my heart goes out to you at this time. I will be praying for you, your husband and those beautiful and precious children. Seems as though he's going through some things that he feel that he can't share with you. Men feel at times like they have somehow failed at being good husbands and fathers, so they will withdraw, say things they don't necessarily mean and blame everyone around them. Pray for him and ask God to make provision for you in this situation. No matter what happens, know that God loves you, your children love you and that you have friends on this website that love you as well. If you need me, I'm just a message or an email away. Praying for you, hang in there.
molly2416 - Friday, 29 Aug
I wish I knew what to say but I don't I know that your strong and you know him best and you know your kids. I'm so sorry that he can't see what a treasure he has in those kids. They are just beautiful and don't deserve a dad that just wake's up and goes well that was nice I'm done now. I hope that everything works out for the best even if it doesn't feel like it at first.
mcbender3 - Friday, 29 Aug
do you guys live together or seperately. I know when im under stress i say nasty things to my husband klike i am going to leave him but i kno i can't because my kids need him and i don't have any money to support my kids by myself.... is he under stress?? or have you both been this way for a while?
jesslf - Friday, 29 Aug
Aww Sweetie I'm sorry to hear your having problems w/ your hubby. I know you want to do what's best for your kids. Just do what you think is best and try to remain calm. Maybe he's just freaking out about everything. I truely hope the 2 of you can work it out. Good luck ! (((((((BIG HUGS))))))
debra haynes - Friday, 29 Aug
oh hun i'm so sorry to see what you're going through and no one deserves to be treated like that especially his wife and the mother of his kids,men only act like that when there are cheating,sorry to say but my sister went through the same thing,just sit and talk with him and find out what is really going on because your feelings and the kids feelings shouldn't be hurt like that,i hope you guys can work through your problems and i will keep you in my prayers.
FirstTimeMommyR - Friday, 29 Aug
I'm so sorry that you're going through this :( You're in my prayers. I hope it works out one way or another....
ZMiracleBoy - Friday, 29 Aug
Oh Girl! This is another IM conversation! :)
In the meantime, you KNOW I am here for you..... you KNOW you have support... and you KNOW what a great wife, mom and person you are!
You keep your head HIGH and love those babies today!
They need their momma right now more than ever and I KNOW you will do a good job!
We will talk soon! I promise!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
((hugs))
AmandaLovesRichardBakerSince2004 - Friday, 29 Aug
Aww, Im so sorry to hear about all of this. It sound's to me that he is begin left out on something that he is not telling you, I was in something like this where I thought my Husband was cheating on me & I keept asking him about it and he would say no im not, Well I had the nerves to get on his screename and see what he was doing well I had found alot of letter's to other girl's sayin he wanted Sex from 'em and I kept confronting him about and he kept dening it. So Here is what I did. I sat him down I made him listen to me about how I felt all the time while he was at work. I told him that I need time to myself away from the kid's while you are always at work. And I told him about the letter's I found I made him talk to me about how he was felling. Come to find out he was felling Lonely & Left Out so every Night now I get in his arm's, Talk to him,Kiss him and hug him until one of us fall's asleep. Now on your hand's You have 6 Beautiful Childern and for some odd reason your husband is not all here right now. When he come's home make him Sit Down and talk to you just to see what is bottherin him. Ask him if there is another women in his life that is making him act like this. You Do not need to be in something like this because felling's are something not to mess with. You and your kid's need alot of Love from you husband.I mean your still kinda yound your 26yrs old I know where your coming from im still kinda young too Im only 22 and I only been married for 4 yr's and my Husband & I been threw alot from the 1st day we meet until the day we got married. Some Marriage's can be worked out and some can not, & Some can use canceling and sometime's that don't even work. But I will pray for you and for your husband to work thing's out 'cause thouse babies need their daddy.
preggiebelly - Friday, 29 Aug
okay... I'm confused too. He's not ready to be a husband and a daddy and he decided this after 5 years of marriage and raising 6 kids?
How do you just wake up one morning and decide that you don't want to have any responsibilities anymore? What if you just left your children? Would he accept that?
You poor thing..... I'm so sorry that you are facing this. And it seems that with 6 little ones... you have plenty on your plate. You need a supportive husband more than any other 26 year old I know.
He needs to make a decision.... does he want to dessert his family & his responsibilities or does he want to be a man and take care of his family? He needs to make up his mind so that you're not left alone with 6 babies on an emotional roller coaster.
Keep in touch and let me know how things progress. Hopefully he'll get his head on straight here before too long and come to his senses. I can't believe he's doing this to you!
mrs mommy - Friday, 29 Aug
His behavior... is sooo weird. I don't think its about *you* at all. Something is going on with HIM. My husband was like that right before we had our first, true he was nervous of being a dad, but he was also using drugs... is that a possibility? Or maybe stress at work? Something is triggering this attitude, whether its drugs, work, or maybe a mid life crisis at a young age... when this happened to me, I told him I was here for him with anything he needed, he just had to be truthful with what's going on. Sure enough, he told me, and I helped clean him up and now he's perfect,(err not perfect.. He's a typical man, but doesn't act that way anymore) and sober.. But yeah, same attitude, same fight, everything you're going through, we did, as mad as I was, and how much I couldn't stand looking at him, the Lord kept telling me to be there for him.. If telling your husband you're here for him and want to know what's up doesn't work, and counseling isn't an option, then that's his mess. Obviously he's not telling you something, and you and the children don't need that.. Is there a chance you could tell the kids that daddy went away for a buisness trip, so they don't wait by the window anymore, or know that mommy and daddy are fighting..???
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