03-5-2009 - Still born

My mood while writing this blog: Very very sad

As some of you know from reading my blogs, I have just started as booming business of baby and child portraits. I advertised in the local paper today for my business and I got a very sad call. A woman called me and told me a family member had a stillborn and wanted me to do a portrait. She warned me that he was very blue with purple lips and he had some blood from certain areas of his body. I didn't think that it would hurt me as much as it did because I used to watch youtube videos of birth when I was pregnant and I saw some occasional SB movies that gave no warning...... so I thought I was prepared. She sent me the photos to draw from. He was a very healthy full grown weight, with beautiful big lips and a full head of dark hair. He would have had a beautiful smile as he had little permanent dymples. He had a button nose and very long eye lashes. He was so.... lifeless. He looked asthough he was an angel in waiting, in peace but wished he was with his mummy and daddy. Its not fair, why didn't he get a chance.

I looked at my incredible son who is 6months today, and cried. I am so lucky to have him in my life. He makes me cry and smile at the same time when he touches my face an laughs.... And when he put his fingers in my mouth to suck when he is having his bottle like....'here mum you can have them im not using them'. My piglet is my life. I need to think that when he is next grumpy, i will never take his precious life for granted.