27-8-2008 - VENTING

My mood while writing this blog: Slightly Frustrated

Okay.. It's Brat time! If any of you reading this are people that are not currently pregnant.. you may not want to.. because I am venting and need to just rant for a minute.

I have this friend at work who found out not too long ago that her and her husband can not have another baby. Well when she told me this.. it was the Monday before I took my pregnancy test (last month). Ever since then she has been very upset, very angry and talks about it every day. Well.... I am pregnant.. and I am trying VERY hard to be a good friend to her and trying very hard to put myself in her shoes.. so I have been not talking about my pregnancy at work (if I do it is kept very short and I change the subject quickly).. I have even told people at work to not talk about it around her (because most of the work folks here know her situation)... But STILL every single day she vents about not wanting to hear about babies, talk about babies.. and how everyone is so much more fortunate then her because they can have babies.... and if anyone complains about their lives or what's going on in their lives.. she makes comments like "You don't even know what bad is".. She just has a really really really bad attitude about everything now. And in a way.. she is like this about everything.. No one has it as hard at work, No one deals with as much stress as her, No one does as much around their house as her, No one finds deals better than her.. You know what I am saying? Now... I am saying all of this out of frustration.. and I have not mentioned all her good qualities..because she does have a ton of them (just right now I am angry)..And there are a lot of things in her life that are WAY better than a lot of people I know (including myself). She is very fortunate to have all the things she has in her life. I think its that I have just been pushed over the edge and needing to vent.

TODAY - We are sitting in the breakroom eating lunch and she has already made her "It's not fair someone bad (talking about local news) gets to have a baby and I can't" and "Insurance was such a pain this year.. no one knows how much money we spent at the doctor's and blah blah blah" etc. Anything that has to do with her and her husband's struggle gets mentioned every day.. Okay so anyway... We were looking at the obituaries (morbid I know) and I was seeing if I knew anyone.. saw some names that were different.. so we were talking about names.. Someone else brought up.. me naming my baby something weird.. I said nooo.. I have names.. I said "Cash for a boy and Callie for girl.. I think" But who knows and tried to change the subject... Well she made an aweful face and said 'Cash?' I said "Yes.. I like it.." She goes.. "That's a stupid name (and laughed)." I am sorry... but no matter what situation you are going through or who you are... I really don't think it's right to put down what someone else wants to name their baby.. ESPECIALLY to their face..

I am trying to be patient.. I am trying to be understanding.. BUT she is wearing me DOWN... AAWWWWWW....

But I am going to keep coming to work with a smile on my face and will continue to listen to her rant every day, not talk about my pregnancy and pretend everything is okay.. I may just have to come here and vent.

I hope I don't sound like a complete jerk and inconsiderate and all that.. If so, please say so.. I may need a little slap in the face. I have had tragedy in my life.. almost worse then being told I can't have a baby...however... I have never been one to bring others down with me.. I guess that part is hard for me to understand about others.

Thank you for letting me vent.. Please don't judge me by this.. I am just venting. I am really a lot nicer in person. However, I am a people pleaser and don't like to upset anyone by disagreeing or voicing my opinion (if it's opposing) unless it's important. Hense the reason I got on here to vent.