31-12-2008 - Reflecting on 2008

My mood while writing this blog: Pretty good!

Hey Everyone! Well 2009 is only a matter of hours away and I wanted to follow in katey25's foot steps. I would like to reflect on this past year. It's been a difficult year.

My husband and I had our first miscarriage in October of 2007 which was an unplanned pregnancy... This actually initiated the conversation about creating a child later on. For the longest time my husband and I agreed we were not going to even think about children for years and when we got our lives more in order. And then the miscarriage happened. So we talked over the next 2 months and decided we would stop birth control in January, wait a few months and then start trying. January came and the birth control stopped... a few months went by and I noticed I was having periods every 2 weeks. It turned out I wasn't ovulating at all. I went to the doctor and got on a fertility drug that was used more to reset my system then to help with fertility... however, my doctor started getting a tiny bit concerned. A month after taking the fertility drug.. I got pregnant again... and on Memorial day (a few days later) it ended in a miscarriage. : ( I was heartbroken.. I wanted to give up! But husband and I decided it was time to just live life and not worry about what happens... let God do his work! : )

A month later (or less) we found out that the house we put a contract on would soon be ours. They cleared up all the paperwork problems and we would be able to close a week later. My husband and I celebrated (if you know what I mean) : ) : ) : )... We signed on our house and moved in! What a wonderful week!!! We began to make it more our home and only a month later I found out.. ONCE AGAIN...I was pregnant. I had taken a test before taking my sister to a water park for her birthday..something told me to double check before doing all those water slides. But this time I did not get excited. I took the test and let it be. I waited several days.. and took another.. still pregnant.. I, again, waited another few days.. took another test and still pregnant. I called the doctor. 2 weeks later I went to the doctor and found out I was 6 weeks and 1 day pregnant.. The heart had just begun to beat.. What a MIRACLE.. I cried so much! Who knew... I was in such shock! My husband couldn't believe it either... and yet we were STILL not getting excited. We wanted to make sure we prepared ourselves for the worst.

Every day since then I have done everything possible to take care of myself, not ignore any warning signs, be careful and take life a little bit slower...

Today I am 29 weeks and 1 day pregnant with my son to be Caeden Matthew Mote... I couldn't be more excited to finish this pregnancy and have my little one in my arms. I still feel like I am staring at the finish line and can't quite get there. Every day I still worry and make sure I do everything possible to do what I can for this little one growing inside me. I know as of right now it's all in God's hands.. so whatever decision he makes about the fate of my child, I must trust it and know that he does everything for a reason. I hope and pray I get to meet this precious angel and be the mom I am hoping to be. : )

So I say BRING IT ON 2009!!! I am SOOO ready! 2007 & 2008 have been ultimately the 2 most life changing years for me..so I am ready for round 3! I am SUPER excited about meeting my son and being his mom!!!!! : ) : ) : ) : ) : )

P.S. To all who read this. I apologize for how long it was.. It just felt really good to write! And in case you are wondering what was life changing for me in 2007.. It's the year I got married to my very best friend!!! : ) : ) : ) YAY!!! : ) HAHAHA!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL! STAY SAFE!!! : ) : ) : )