December 31st--

I had my second glucose test today--I had one early on b/c they were worried about how big my first son was (over 9lbs 2 wks early!!) The first was fine-but I still had to have one at 27 weeks. The punch stuff I drank was awful. I felt like getting sick or fainting-blah! So hopefully that all comes back ok--and lil man is doing good in there still. We have a sono next week! Iam so giddy about it haha--Everything about baby is really making me anxious. I cannot wait til he is FINALLY here, and in my arms(instead of my FAT tummy) Does anyone else feel like a whale and like you are wearing a flashing neon sign that says stare at me in public? -or is that just me!? :p

January 9th!!!!!-

We had a sono this morning It was quite an eventful time. Kaiden went with us like he has for every sono..he gets sooo excited to see 'his baby' on the screen...I got layed down and all jellied up haha..and she the lady began taking pictures of lil guy, and I got this overwhelming feeling to get sick, and got super light headed. I guess she said that it is common..so she just had me sit up, we turned the fan on and it took me awhile to stop "spinning". Ahh it was awful! I guess the baby is such a chunker now that he puts pressure on my circulatory system that makes me feel a lil queezy on my back--But after that we got back to pictures of baby...He is so big now, its unreal. He kept sticking out his tounge and looked like he was licking his lips. Kaiden was like aww mommy he is kissing you!! It was SO sweet...especially that he just saw that and came to the conclusion on his own.

News on baby --- is that he is measuring large for what my expected due date is. About 2 wks early--Which is really no suprise to me since Kaiden was over 9 lbs when he was born 2 weeks early...but they scheduled another sono on the 13th of February to decide what to do with inducing and what not--b/c I definaetly want induced like with Kaiden!! Hopefully we are looking at early March. They also checked out the placenta, where I had the subchorionic hemmorage...and IT IS GONE!! Which is sooo good to hear, so baby is safe and sound in there and getting all the good stuff he needs. Some fluid was found around his scrotum...which doesn't mean anything..but that it is usually just not there..so its just something the pediatrician will have to check out when he is born. Baby also has alot of hair already (just like his big brother) and he is head down !! Nooo wonder I was having sooo much pressure down there lately!!

**I added pics to my album of the sono !!

January 23rd 2008

** I had an apt. with my midwife today. Nothing too eventful. I lost TWO more pounds--I honestly am ecstatic!! I have only gained like 26 lbs!!--Which is phenominal considering I gained over like 60lbs with Kaiden! **

Well, as most of you know I fell Sunday, down my parent's stairs at their home. I fell on my tailbone--which was extreemly painful--but i figured lil guy was FINE! So I just relaxed that night, and didn't think much of it as he kicked away like crazy!! Well--when I told Nancy today that I had fell-- she FLIPPED. She had me hooked up to a monitor, and do the stress test thing. Baby is PERFECT, just as I suspected. I guess she said that it is dangerous no matter how you fall though. That it can harm the placenta, and make it so lil guy is in danger--scary!

It is EXACTLY a WEEK from today that I have THE BIG sono!! I am hoping and praying to god that I get to know when he will be here, after that sono. Iam so anxious--and petrified to have a 10 lb baby or a c-section. I also hope that they do not even attempt to bring up an amnio again! I refuse to put baby at risk like that, and I still cannot believe that they would!!

A thought that has been running through my mind is a lil fear, of not being completely ready for baby. Brandon has STILL not gotten his crib together!! Sooo yeah baby's room is still not finished. Iam also getting scared that I will not have everything that I need for him. I have just been relying on the fact that I had things from Kaiden. In reality not a whole lot of it is going to work. My boys are born in TOTALLY different seasons. Sooo that should be interesting...I also still do not have a bassinet. I borrowed one with Kaiden, and a swing too--I would love to be able to have a shower. I mean I feel like this baby is being cheated. (another reason why I was initially SUPER upset, about having another boy) he is getting nothing of HIS OWN, like Kaiden!! But--I guess its not "acceptable" to have a shower for baby number 2.I have mentioned this to my family--they don't seem too worried, and of course neither does Brandon... Maybe it's just hormones and I should calm down but-I can't help but worry.

Feb. 13th, 2008

**Well today was suppose to be a good day--with good news, and a happy prego girl!

--It wasn't!!!

Baby is measuring only about a week ahead--no change in due date though. Then he is weighing in at 4lb 15 ounces...so thats in the 16th percentile, which is normal..and Iam measuring 35 wks- Soooo--he is staying in to cook as planned. No induction! ---Which is fine I guess, if he STAYS that way--NORMAL size! Otherwise Iam petrified that I will have to have a C-section, if they let me go full term. I mean I weighed 10 lbs 6 1/2 ounces at birth, Brandon was like 8lbs, and Kaiden was 9lbs 1 3/4 ounces 2 WKS EARLY!! Soooo the odds just do not loook good, ya know! I refuse to have to give birth to a MOOSE! I shouldn't have to..If you can't tell Iam super upset & emotional. ** I want him OUT!! Iam so over this--and only 33 wks and 4 days! GOD HELP ME! soo wooo like 6 more weeks, when I thought it would be like 4!!!FREAKIN' MARCH CAN BE HERE NOW--oh and as for any talk of April, hell no, there will be NO April--If I have to go to 40 wks, that will be the end for me!! I mean it--they will not want to see beastly me after 40 wks--haha

** ooh and I get to be miserably prego for MANY events in March: Our Anniversary(13th), My B-day(18th), and My nephew's 2nd bday(20th)--BIG FUN! ..ooh yeah and isn't Easter somewhere in there too!?!? ahh

Feb.27th-- 35.4 wks

I had a dr's apt this morning. No news really--Iam measuring right at 35 wks. I gained a damn pound!! grr, so now Iam right at a 30 lb weight gain thus far--((Iam so over this getting fat business. I just want him in my arms!!)) aaand then I had the group b test...I go back March 6th. I don't know when they start checking to see if Iam dialated or whatever--but by a miracle of god, I hope that they do soon & Iam. Its becoming like running a marathon to carry laundry up n down the stairs...hell who Iam I kidding with the sciatic nerve ordeal and the calf cramps lugging just my fat-self up and down the stairs is enough! ha!

March 6th 08-

...I went to the doctor today--and **IAM DIALATED**!!!

Only to a one, but he said my cervix is soft, and that is pretty promising!!! I knew something good was up when it didn't feel like he was shoving his arm up my throat to check me--haha, and he said he could feel baby's head!! I also gained a pound, and am measuring for 37 wks..so pretty much right on schedule there...

...I might actually get to meet my lil man sooner than expected. Like I have hoped! The past two nights I have been having awful pains down low, which I refer to as 'crotch headbutts'..they have been pretty intense, but have obviously helped to make SOME progress!!!

My buddy Tia also told me about some evening primrose oil capsules to also get things a movin'. I went to GNC on out way home and bought some ...so hopefully they will help me a long a lil...along with some crazy prego sex--LOL!!! Iam so ready to meet this baby. How amazing would it be if I went early!? Well had to share my news--since this is the first happy thing I have heard in awhile. Keep your fingers crossed for me & this lil guy.

March 14th--

I went to the doctor yesterday--there wasn’t a whole lot to report from that..so I didn’t. It was pretty busy day. My boys and I got lunch, and ate it at the park. It was so much fun. Then I got pampered all day. Got my nails filled, a pedicure, and my hair done. It was SO nice!! I LOVE my husband. It was our Anniversaryyesterday!! FOUR years!! We went out to dinner, and spent the evening together. I had contractions all night though, unfortunetly nothing consistant though...

I had to go back to the doc today, for a non stress test and results from blood work. I guess blood work was fine...and during my non stress test I had two good contractions. He is trying to make his way out...When Dr. R checked me he said i was a THREE and 70% EFFACED!! Iam soooo happy. All of that pain lastnight DID ammount to something, after all!!! Kaiden and I went to the dollar store, and ran some other errands after my appontment & just got home. Iam sooo exhausted, and this house is a disaster...So, looks like I will be cleaning all night & doing everything I can to encourage lil man OUT! Iam so anxious!

My baby shower is Sunday--so lil guy needs to stay cookin atleast til then ! It should be so much fun to see everyone at my shower. I love my girl Jenn for having it for me, she is the best!

Keep your fingers crossed for me and this lil guy continuing to make his way into the world!!

March15-

On the way home from taking my son to an easter egg hunt, I kept having consistant contractions..that were ridiculous. Every bump we hit, I swore he was going to fall out. I decided I should probably go to the hospital, and my sis that works up on Labor and Delivery insisted. Well, I went.. I was STILL @ a 3 and 70% effaced as the day before..but having contractions showing on the monitor. I began leaking something, we assumed was my waters..then a ph test thing confirmed ah nope...sooo they called my doctor and they made me walk the god damn hallway for an HOUR!!! By this time, Iam in sooo much pain, and swollen..my back kills and for that I want to kill someone!! Well-- they check me again and decide they are sending me home b/c I have no change in dialation. The urge to rip the kid out myself and throw a damn tantrum is at the max! Iam 38 fucking weeks pregnant..and obviously contracting. Would it be too much to ask for them to keep me going with some patocin!?! shittt!! oh no..I got some bullshit talk about how he is faced wrong or whatever...and to roll around on a pillates ball to turn him around, that is probably why my contractions arent equalling dialation--whatever! Its not like Iam 20 some weeks an boohooing that Iam done! My son is technically FULL term & perfcetly healthy...get him OUT!

Sooo now Iam at home, STILL in pain..still PISSED and wanting to just have my kid here. I seriously do not want to have to go back to the hopsital and risk them doing the same shit to me again!! Like when is it good enough for these people, and when am I in ENOUGH pain, ya know!?

I know that everyone TRIES to be helpful--and supportive..but you really, really have NO idea..til you have been to this point! I feel like Iam losing it honestly..and that no one and I mean NO ONE else gets it. Is it THAT hard to show some god damn sympathy for a 30 lb overweight hormonal woman, that feels like her pelvis is splitting in half!? You would think not, but apparently IT IS..you can read this and think Iam crazy...Which Iam sure is the case 99% of the time..bc people stalk my shit like Iam Britney Spears anymore LMAO--and dont leave comments. Oh well-- I simply do this to vent and keep my real friends updated.

My shower is tomarrow..Iam excited to be surrounded my people that love me and this baby a lot..and ooh and ahh over gifts, that will ultimately get me even more excited. Sooo in all its good I didn’t have him before tomarrow..but whoa!! its a low that you cannot explain..when you have this much pain for NOTHING..or you walk back ’n forth in a hospital for an hour..where the halls are adorned in baby pics, and a nursery ready to accomidate my lil man..aaaand he is still not here!!!!! My dr apt is on my b-day--Tuesday. Yes, my bday! One could only hope for something good on such a day right!? I will be 38. 3 wks prego. You had better believe that Iam begging to be induced by 39 wks on the dot! Since they told me today they REFUSE to induce before then. Ok suuure I will play your lil game, but you will help me half way too! Notice me being irrate b/c if the freakin dr needed to go on vacay or some crap, you know they would induce me in a n instant, whenever they felt it was good for them!! Since it would require some compassion to care about me otherwise it’s asking too much. Even Brandon was pissed. I think it may 100% have to do with the fact--that we both saw how PERFECT Kaiden was at 38 wks and LARGE! Here’s to SOON, VERY SOON and less than the 2 wks til the technical ’due date’ ...

My shower was yesterday March 16th! :) was soo nice and I got many adorable gifts...check out pics !!