Lisa Whitworth's I-am-pregnantblog

Lisa Whitworth
Lisa Whitworth has 183 days to go and is now in week 13
	Age: 32 Country: UK Province/region: Stockport City: Manchester Partner: Jez Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Yes Due date: 18 Aug ,2012 Occupation: stay at home mum
	Online: 58 minutes ago Last updated: 2 days ago. Member since: 4 days
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13-6-2008 - What do I do!???

My mood while writing this blog:
Very sad

I am having such a bad morning...my daughter of 6 has just informed me that she doesn't like my partner who I have been with for over a year!! It has come as such a shock to me and I really don't know what to do, I asked her why, but she said she doesn't know! The only reason I can think of is that he comes from quite a strict family and we have fallen out before over the fact that he seems to tell her off all the time for little things such as playing with her hair and talking out loud when she is playing! I feel so bad that she feels this way, but I know that if I tell him he would be devastated! I really don't need this at the moment and i'm a right state and I have to go to work at eleven o'clock and I can't stop crying! To make matters worse I called my mum for advice and she said she thinks he tells her off too much but she hasn't said anything because my dad told her not to get involved!! How the hell do I handle this one!???? xxxx
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3 Comments on What do I do!???

ourfirstone - Sunday, 22 Jun
Hi! So sorry you're having to worry about this...what a touchy issue. Your daughter may be feeling some jealousy, but she probably has a reason for saying the things she said. Certainly something you and your partner need to try and work out (the parenting differences) before the new addition gets here. I know the last thing you need is additional stress! I grew up with a step dad that was way too controlling and strict. Because of it, I ended up resenting him....my mom just let him do as he pleased with my brother and I. It wasn't good. I'm sure you wouldn't let anything get to that point - but you want your daughter to feel comfortable with him - and especially comfortable telling you how she feels. Maybe try asking her why - and what she feels like what you all could do different as a family to try and make things better... it's hard having those discussions with a youngster.... Good luck! I'll be wishing you the best!!!

number5forme - Friday, 13 Jun
Hi,

I have two step children and three of my own from a previous marraige and then one that my husband and I have had together - a real Brady Bunch! I know how difficult blended families (as they call them) can be! I had a step dad when I was growing up and he was a bit like your partner sounds - a bit too strict on the little stuff.
It is hard when you come from different backgrounds and upbringings. You dont really know any different??...
My husband and I have had a few battles with regards to the kids and it can put a real strain on the relationship but bottom line for us is that in the end, NOTHING should come between us, not even the kids so we need to work it out. I believe that in the end the decision stops with you as she is YOUR daughter. Thats how it works for us anyway.
I will say this too - Over the last eight years nearly all of the kids have had an issue at some time or another with either the step parent or the parent (as a result of the step parents stand) so it can happen at any age, any time. I believe that your daughter should not decide who YOU get to be with - she will be long gone in her own relationship soon enough (I know she is only six but time flies, LOL!!!!) and then you are left with who? I have listened to each childs "complaint" and tried to work through it though I still make it very clear that he is my husband and I love him, I know that he is not THEIR choice but he IS mine etc I love our kids but reality is they can be very manipulative sometimes - even six year olds! She may just need a little more attention at the moment givn that you are expecting a new baby. This would be expected even if she did belong to your new partner!
Hope I dont sound too 'preachy' and that I may have helped you some...

Good luck with your pregnancy (and your dilemma!)

purplepug - Friday, 13 Jun
hi lisa! aw i feel for u.. not an easy situation..maybe ur daughter is feeling worried bcos your partner is the daddy of the new bambino and she feels kind of out of place??
it sounds like u agree that she is unfairly told off occasionally by ur partner (mebe he hasnt any children and hasnt copped on2 the fact that with kiddies ur better off choosing ur battles??...otherwise ud b a nervous wreck!) make a special day for ur lil girl, include ur partner but let him know ur anxious about her behaviour so ul b "wearing the trousers" that day, and for him to keep quiet???...i know..easier said than done huh?just remember when u had ur girl,and how she was the most precious thing in the world.. tap back soon..new to this, xx suzie xx

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